The Perfect Happiness

S2 - Eps 139

Tika POVs.

I pulled Jefri's hand away just as we were about to walk into Lisa's room. The door opened a little. I could hear the voices of people from inside. When I looked through the door window, it turned out that there was a figure of Max there. Standing facing Lisa's gurney.

All of the sentences that they both uttered, I could hear clearly in my ears. I turned from the door, into my husband's arms when I heard Lisa say I was envious. That all this time he always felt different from me.

Though never a little bit I mention it about social status or differences from the two of us. Even the ones that exist, I was jealous of him first. Free life without restrictions. Studied abroad with a smart brain. He has a girlfriend who loved him very much and paid for his life. She was treated like a queen by her boyfriend. While me? After my virginity was gone, I was dumped.

What do I deserve to be jealous of?

I should be jealous of his life. He has everything with his efforts. No matter how I get all that, I'm honestly proud. He was strong, even too strong. With his shortcut, he could still stand on his own feet. While me?

Why should I be jealous of what I have? I got what?

A home? That's Jefri's house.

A car? That's what I bought with half Max's money.

There are many women out there who give their crown for free, unconditionally free. Not with Lisa. So which is dirtier? Which is more worthy of being considered as 'cheap'?

Say a pela*ur, I appreciate that person more. Because his crown was exchanged for treasure, not with a pure love.

I cried silently behind the door, listening to Max who kept scolding Lisa. Until finally Lisa says if she loves Max until this moment.

What a surprise I was, as Lisa spoke about her heart to Max, from before her departure to London until she accepted Max's wedding invitation to Shilla and attended the event.

I really didn't expect, if when Max got married, Lisa harbored that feeling that eventually led him to meet Dana and become uncontrollable. I raised my head to look at Jefri who was also listening to everything.

"Until this second Max, that sense may diminish, but it can never be lost." Lisa roared inside there saying that.

"Why do I always fall in love with the people around Tika? You, Dana and now Alex. Is it my destiny to give someone who loves him?" added Lisa followed by her sobbing sobbing.

"I've considered you my little brother ever since my return from London. When I found out, you already have a man who's much richer than me. Who can support you while there, treat you like a king's daughter. Because I know myself, I can't be like that." Max loudly also explained to Lisa the causes and effects they did.

Right now I understand one thing. Lisa and Max had feelings for each other. But the two took care of each other because there was me between them. A friend's relationship and a brother's relationship. Then they choose to keep that feeling rather than having to ruin one of the relationships that concerns me.

At that moment I felt guilty about myself. Why should I be a barrier between their heart feelings? And why would they just shut up if that sense was indeed growing in each other's hearts?

"Alex loves you sincerely, no matter if he ever deletin Tika or bergga. Love him and you'll find your own happiness" Max said slowly.

"Then you? You love whoa?" Sayup-sayup I heard Lisa's voice again.

"Obviously I love Shilla. She's the mother of both my children." Max's voice became clearer.

Then suddenly the door opened, Max walked out of the room and stopped when he saw me with Jefri at the door. No words Max spoke, his eyeballs were glazed over, the tip of his nose was already red. Then he stepped away. Passing by just left me and Jefri here.

I hugged Jefri again, exhaling my breath that was momentarily tight in this chest. He hugged me tightly, propping up my body that was almost limp with Lisa's confession.

Jefri kissed my forehead, then invited me home. "We're going home, right?" bring me. Which finally we undo the intention to visit Lisa at this time.

***

On my way home, I just kept quiet. I was still too shocked to hear everything. And I don't think I'm ready to accept all that reality. Fortunately, before heading to Lisa's room, Jefri and I went to our son's room and took some pictures. Not even Haikal knew of our arrival there.

"I don't know what else to say, obviously, none of this is your fault." Jefri took my hand and kissed it.

"Lisa just thinks too narrowly. He's trying to connect everything to the annoyance he has. If that is the case, whatever you do, want it good and sincere intentions though, it will still look bad in his eyes." Jefri added again. He kept holding my hand.

I now throw my eyes out the car window. Staring at the blue sky that blends with the white clouds, makes the difference on it look very beautiful.

Yes, it is true what my husband said, if someone already feels jealous, hate or even spiteful, it will certainly behave like that. Even if I tried to approach or help her, she would still feel that I was wrong. And even though something happened to her life, she would definitely constantly blame me as well as the cause.

This is called playing victim. People who always put themselves as victims in a problem. One who does it to gain sympathy, pity from others, even to run away from responsibility for his own actions. Blaming others for their actions.

I still don't think about what Lisa Lakukab has been up to all this time. I was so sincere about this friendship, I even considered him my own brother.

He was always at a big event in my life. Even at dinner at important family events, she always invited me, even though the event belonged to Max or Haikal. But why is this how it ends?

I still don't understand where my fault lies. What triggers him to hate this much he's with me. When have I ever bullied him? Evil him? Or even say rude to him?

Tega. Just this one word I deserve to say to Lisa right now. After all this time we have been in a relationship. After a long time we got to know each other and shared our grief. I didn't think he was hiding all this so tightly, so neatly and so unscentedly.

I exhaled my breath many times. Then again inhaled it greedily, greedily. I feel like I've shed too many tears for her. Falling down is endless. Feels useless, useless.

When I got home, I went straight to my room, ignoring Jefri who called me to tell me to eat.

"Darling, eat first. Baby!!!" he shouted behind me, while I continued to climb the stairs with lethargic steps.

I lay my body down very slowly on the edge of the bed, sideways. I met up with Lisa on my wedding day. She was the only one I allowed to wear a white dress on that day, when all the guests present I asked to wear a dark-colored dress code.

I was so happy to do this photo with him. We danced together, climbed the dinner table. After the day before I spent crying with her, promising that I would never forget her after I got married. We will have a special time for both. Ladies time's.

It didn't feel like my tears were falling free to flow, soaking up the pads I used to support my head. Is this what it feels like to be hurt by your best friend?

Someone touched my shoulder, made me turn around and found Jefri sitting on the bed. I moved my head on her lap, and then came back crying out loud. And Jefri just let me. Shedding the resentment that was in my chest with a cry. Jefri understood that well.

"I don't deserve to judge people, even if it's my wife's best friend. You know best what your heart wants."

"But why is he so happy?" I keep insisting.

"There must be a reason."

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Max POV's.

I was surprised to see Tika and Jefri standing from behind the door. I can't say anything anymore. They both must have heard it all. Either from beginning to end or just the end. Obviously, I can no longer cover anything from them.

My breath feels tight. My tongue has been removed. I need some fresh air!

Without waiting for a long time, I immediately left in front of them. Move my feet to get to the car.

Arriving at the car, I threw my fists on the steering wheel.

BRUOK!!

I let go of my emotions that I had been holding on to ever since. I should have known from the beginning that it would be like this. My breath is now wheezing, not ruffled, along with the beating of my heart that is increasingly pumping blood flow in my veins.

My intention was just to know the truth, even though it had to end with a painful sentence coming out of my mouth. After all, it was Shilla who accompanied me from the start and I would never take her place in this heart. She's my queen. And there will be no concubines and the like for me!

I hold this dizzy head with my finger tucking in my hair and gripping it. Trying to catch my breath, stopping my shoulder movement up and down, following my breath.

I was so upset to see her shameless face. Feeling innocent even he felt like he had not committed a great sin!

Now I know what it's like to feel about the man I killed a few weeks ago. How his anger exploded. His disappointment mixed with his sadness. Because that's how I feel now.

The difference is, the man does not know how sorry I am because it has created an environment like this for Lisa. I don't know from which point of view he learned that. Being a victim of every problem.

Then what is my sin like this?

Didn't I stop my intention to enjoy it a few years ago? Do I not deny my desire and desire to touch it?

Is all this my fault?

I don't know, I can't think straight now. Then I immediately started my car engine and prepared to leave the hospital immediately. Down through this city. Looking for fresh air.

***

I decided to stay away from home and from my family. To calm down. I also couldn't if I had to calm down at the office. I finally decided to drive to the beach. Maybe seeing and hearing the waves will make my thoughts and feelings calmer.

At the speed I drive my car. It takes about two hours to get to the beach. I parked my car in the parking lot available there. Then I got out of the car with the bottom of the pants that I had rolled up and barefooted.

Letting the beach sand into the sidelines of the fingers on my feet, tickling warmly my feet. Due to the sunlight that makes the grains of sand like roasted. Until these footsteps brought me to stand on the beach. On the solid unity of solid sand because it absorbs sea water. Slowly, the waves swept over my feet, wetting the bottom of my rolled pants. I'm letting.

My eyes were busy staring at the endless expanse of the ocean. It looks like it's merging with the sky at the opposite end. Very far away

The waves crashing on the rock, as if into a sudden burst of rage. Then slowly calm down, drifting until it touches my feet. The sand and gravel that was swept away by the waves seemed to be an eraser of anger that turned into a softness that absorbed and sucked my feet into the recesses of honesty.

At least, I feel relieved to have told Lisa my heart. At least, I no longer need to explain anything to him. It's pretty clear what I said. I've been worried for too long. I think it was my most appropriate decision.

I'll just think of him as a little brother. A child of papah friends whose lives both parents lost due to replacing the position of papah to take care of papah company at that time. And I'll bear it.

It's just, will Tika understand with all this?

I forgot my weak heart. Tika who is always tough is actually not as strong as it seems. He has been very fragile since papah's departure. I know it.

Can he accept the treatment of his only friend?

Then will he also understand all this?

Understand the reason for his best friend?

I lit a cigarette that since then the box was in my hand, complete with a lighter. Burning the end of the tobacco roll on the side next to it, then sucking out a bit of the smoke, then I threw it into the air. Thinking about what steps I will take next.

Should I go to my own sister to explain all this?

Or let it erode by time that could one day return to the surface like a time bomb?

Connect ...

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