Sendu Sweetener

PS 48 - Prayer Answers?

The sentence was so hanging, it was at the very bottom of the page of the letter. I immediately opened the next page. This Bude Ulfa seems to have made me curious on purpose. Though I used to throw away the paper, I could not read the most disgusting letter.

Bude Ulfa-Bude Ulfa, I can't stop thinking, even after he's gone, his arrogance isn't dim, his cruelty doesn't even subside. I don't know why there are people in this world as bad as him.

I let out a breath.

Bude Ulfa seemed to know how to play with my feelings, Bude Ulfa wrote Ghifari's name on the bottom page.

Ghifarians. The son of a bitch is exactly like his father, Aaron. Stubborn and cunning. He promised me a meeting with your mother so I could free her. I did insult her mother indirectly, she made an accomplice so that she was not detained by the police. Ghifari and his mother knew exactly that.

I agreed to it because I'm sure she'll never be able to find your mother. But it turns out I was wrong. The son of a bitch managed to find your mother and you at the wrong time. He brought you guys in when I didn't have a plan. And cunningly, he secretly collected all the evidence of my crimes to report, but he was still a snot boy, I certainly knew better what was on his mind.

Ghifari took you home to threaten me after the evidence I destroyed along with the engineering evidence I made to re-demand your mother and her mother to go to jail. At that time, I had nothing left to drag your mother and mother to prison, but I wanted so badly to watch your mother cry and suffer. I've been waiting for him for years.

Ghifari asked me to repent, apologizing to your mother, mother, and all the family. He asked me to admit all the mistakes. Of course I don't want to. When he almost made me give up, I found his weak point. She likes you.

Love is something that makes absolutely no sense. He easily used it again. Easy to use, I just threatened to kill you, and then he begged me to do whatever I asked. He once said that my only problem was with your mother not with you. But I told her it was your fault for being born from Nindy's womb.

I kidnapped you and your mother, it's only because I was angry with your mother who, after all these years, returned in a state that I wasn't happy to hurt. How can I duel with a disabled person? I was secretly upset, upset by your mother's circumstances. I want your mother back to health. I must have gone crazy for having this thought. But, maybe I was expecting your mother to be healthy so I could torture her again.

I clenched my hand. I really don't know what's inside this wicked woman's mind. He really is a sick man. How could he expect my mother to be healthy just to be able to torture my mother? What a mental pain!

And Ghifari, please. I find it hard to explain how I feel.

When I saw your mother standing up, why was there such a sense of happiness in me. I feel that this is not me, I continue to deny it. Until finally, I kept an eye on you two. Seeing the two of you looking so happy made me slightly moved, I envy Nindy who in such condition still has you as her reinforcement.

Ghifari, the boy went back to poison me, he said that I actually loved your mother, which is why I still let your mother live and my life is ruined. As I began to believe it, I told him that I would keep you locked up for longer until I really had a reason to release you, but I still fed you. Ghifari agreed and said that he alone would make sure that you and your mother would not run away.

However, after I trusted him, Ghifari betrayed me. He secretly devised a plan with his mother to free you and your mother.

Though, I still want to lock you up until I'm absolutely sure. Until the shooting happened yesterday.

Do you know what, bad boy? Before that, I went to see my mom and dad, told them everything and apologized, and they asked me to end it all.

I wrote this letter in the hospital. Whahuh? You expect me to die on the spot? You don't dream. Even if I end up dead, I don't want to die there.

In this sick state, I realized, all this time I was wrong. All this time I've been turned into a demon.

I know that you hate me so much. However, I still want to write this letter for you because you are the only one who dares to reply to me in the same way that I did.

Those people, they just forgive me, never really reciprocate my actions to make me deterred. But you ... When I shot your mother, you shot me. I salute your child. Your punch is retaliating with a punch. Your shot countered with a shot. Smart girl!

In the end, Nindy is a person who has a privilege, maybe the prayers he recited that saved him from the evil that came to him.

I will never ask you to offer my apologies to your parents, especially your mother, because I know that they will forgive me again. After all, when you read this letter, you must be in prison, right? But you take it easy, no one will dare kill you there.

And ... If I'm really dead, you don't blame yourself. It's not your fault, it's fate. Nor will I force you to forgive my mistakes because I know they are difficult.

If you're free later, tell your mother and father that my departure is a gift from me for their happiness. Tell them to enjoy life, not plan, and take care of what they should take care of.

Never give this letter to anyone. Because I am so ashamed. If you dare to give it to me, I'm gonna call you from hell

I wiped my tears. My feelings are mixed at the moment. That last word seemed to be unresolved by Bude Ulfa.

The writings of Bude Ulfa are getting worse. I thought that at the end of a word he could not continue, he was dying.

I can't comment on these papers at all. The writing that initially was already untidy became increasingly disheveled to the end.

Is this the answer to my prayer?

I was so confused before. I continue to apologize to Allah SWT for my mistakes which do not admit that my actions are wrong and I ask forgiveness because I cannot forgive the mistakes of Bude Ulfa even though he is gone. I kept asking for instructions on how I could handle all this.

Ever since that day, I have felt like a monster. Where I knew I was wrong, but deep down, I was relieved and happy at the passing of Bude Ulfa, even when Bude Ulfa was gone, I still can't forgive him.

I don't think there's anything that would make me forgive him. The shadow of how ruthless Bude Ulfa always made me hate him.

That's why I cried, begging for guidance to the Creator because I knew I was sinning but I felt innocent. This is really scary.

This is the answer from You, O God? - in me, I looked up crying.

After being content to cry by holding my sobbing so as not to disturb anyone, I turned to Mother Farah, there she still sat saying nothing.

"He's a crazy woman." Mother Farah suddenly said. "But he's the best caveman. He was once imprisoned here because of your mother, the same cave truss here. He also paid for college ade cave until I became a nurse."

I'm speechless.

"It could be that when he wants to die, he could write a letter that long." Mother Farah said. "Although the contents ngalor ngidul, the cave still can not imagine how difficult it is to write" he continued.

This time I agreed with what Farah's mother had in mind.

"Where did you get this?" My toot. Ignoring his words.

"From my sister who works in the hospital. He who took Ulpa to death. Now he's dead. Do you not see you?" A very sarcastic question was asked by him.

I'm speechless.

"If it wasn't for that Ulpa nitip penny same Ade cave if I couldn't kill you, have killed you from the beginning you enter here." Mother Farah said.

"But he's evil to my family." I said.

Why would I want to express what I feel a little. I didn't expect Bude Ulfa to have friends in prison.

"Cave knows." Answer Farah's mother. "Without you saying the cave knows everything. Because he's mean to your family, so you mending kill him right? Ck, Lu and your family must be grinning now." He said, still sarcastic.

Farah's mother threw her pillow at me fiercely. He's not telling me to sleep, is he. He was so angry that he threw something nearby at me as a form of annoyance.

I closed my eyes, then I took the pillow he threw and placed it right next to Farah's mother. At least, although he is often evil, but he is still an old man.