Mom, Let Me Be Happy

CHAPTER 9. Heart Voice

Mariam felt that what Shaka said to Denny was not right, so her fear of neighbors was the fear of disturbing her and Shaka's comfort, not the fear of being gossiped.

What do you want to do again? Shaka was just a little boy whose understanding had yet to reach that stage. Finally Mariam stopped her peeping activity and went to the room.

The voice of Mariam....

It was still clearly ringing in my ear, when you said 'I will never leave you Mariam'. Even still I feel the tenderness of the caress and the warmth of your embrace, Mas.

That you talk really made me give up my whole life to you, you said, making me give you all my sense of worth. Now that's all you deny, Mom. You have arbitrarily left me and our children, without caring about the length of my wait waiting for you to return.

Not complaining about the fate God gave me but, isn't there a little bit of your longing left for us, Mas? or maybe all your sweet words and promises are just jokes to comfort my heart.

How can you make my life this way, until your heart treats me like a useless piece of trash. You slice my heart, you rip my heart out, you rip apart everything I've neatly arranged, Mas.

Mas Santana, since you declared your true departure through that piece of paper, my world will soon collapse. The pillars that support and stand firm in the palace of my heart have now been destroyed because of you, Mas.

Well I can accept that even with a heart that hurts like slashed. But what about Shaka? even he was too small to understand that his biological father forbade him to search and meet him.

Is this fair to me, Mom? or is this fair enough for the innocent Shaka, and for Denny who always sincerely loved me, even before you set foot in my living room?...

Do you think my heart is a game you can start and end as you please?

You have destroyed not only my hope, Mas! but also the hope of my son, our son, Shaka, Mas.

Mariam's cry broke out like the sound of lightning aiming at the earth. Crushed, crushed, smeared, scattered. In the corner of her room, Mariam again shed her tears.

Shaka's heart screams....

O Allah, give Shaka a chance even if only once in Shaka's life, to meet Dad and hold him for a while. Shaka was tired of wearing this longing shirt and just wanted to take it off.

The little boy screamed in his heart while looking at Denny's face which was hugging him inside his lap. Shaka repeatedly looked at Denny's face hoping that the person who was holding him was his father.

Denny whispered softly in his heart....

Mariam, is there not the slightest gap in your heart that makes room for my presence? I've been stupid before, Mariam. I can't express my own feelings until another man brings you into his life.

I don't regret it, Mariam. As long as your life is happy but, seeing reality that is inversely proportional to the reality that I, you, and maybe Shaka expected, I can no longer afford to keep myself quiet.

Mariam, let me just this once prove the seriousness of my race. Let me rearrange the scattered grains of love. Allow me for once in my life to make you happy and be your friend, when night comes, when morning comes, when whenever you want.

Maybe we are too cruel to ourselves, so to be happy we have to keep the feelings of others. I hope your heart will be opened by the turbulent beat of my love.

Denny let out a long sigh as he rubbed his hands gently over the little boy's head in his lap.

"Uncle..," said Shaka calling Denny's name in a soft voice.

"What's Shaka?" denny replied with a smile on his lips.

"Did Shaka really want that?" ask Denny to make sure.

Shaka nodded his head, looking seriousness on the face of the 6-year-old boy.

"Well, then uncle will talk about this with your mother, hem..," Denny smiled like he had a thousand supports.

"Good, Uncle."

Denny and Shaka stopped their daydreams and returned to mingling cheerfully. Mariam who was still crying in the room heard the laughter from the front porch of her house. Mariampun then smiled in tears.

If not afraid of sin, Mariam wants to say that this destiny is not fair. However, Mariam's consciousness was quite domineering at the time, so her intention was to say something unnecessary she paused.

Is it not that God never charges a servant beyond his means? that means he is the chosen one who is able to carry this burden.

In a suffering that befalls a person, every time always feels long. Mariam just try to enjoy the time that feels long. Although the voice of his heart loudly screamed, even though his body was tired helpless.

Suddenly Mariam remembered that she was steaming sponge cake in her dress. He hurriedly checked the stove, and sure enough, the mariam steam sponge steamed until the steaming boiler let out blackish smoke and almost exploded.

Mariam screamed as she continued to speak her name. Grateful for Mariam's voice coming out, Denny ran to see what happened. Without thinking long Denny ventured to turn off the fire on the stove that had begun to grow.

Finally Denny had to find his hand hit by a fire, although the fire was successfully extinguished before snatching into the room of the house. Mariam gasped and felt very guilty. However, Denny shows that he is fine even though the burn on his hand feels sore.

With the potluck, Mariam smeared Denny's burnt hand. Instead of feeling ill, Denny developed a smile on his lips. Shaka who saw that smiled as he hid his face behind his two tiny palms.

"I'm sorry Mariam, Mom. Mariam forgot that she was steaming a sponge," said Mariam while staying busy smearing ointment in the hands of Denny who was hit by a fire.

"Did my arrival so upon you? until you don't realize that your computer's still on!" denny pretended to be sniffed.

Mariam simply repeated her apology, while Denny laughed in her heart.

"Let's know Mariam, I have to thank that fire" Denny said with a grin.

Mariam, unaware that Denny was playing around with Mariam's concerns about her, continues to feel bad and when Mariam finishes applying the medicine to Denny's hand, she accidentally sees Denny smiling.

Only then did Mariam realize, Denny had been playing tricks on her.

"Is it better, Mom?" ask Mariam as they close the row of upper and lower teeth to create a sound that makes pain.

"It feels very hot" said Denny origin.

"Yes, the fire is very hot, so never play with fire!" close Mariam and move in front of Denny.

Denny and Shaka look at each other, then both compact laugh amusedly, seeing Mariam's reaction when she realized she was being bullied by Denny.

Seriate....