Longsuffering

There's No News

I no longer put my hopes in the sun

who perched on the horizon of the heart

it was soaring and silent

I really miss

-Wita

Jakarta, Tv

Wita Pov's

Tonight my body felt floating, the lights hanging in the room seemed to be swirling in my eyes. While the infusion hose is connected to the back of my left hand.

"Bu Wita. if you need anything, tell me yes ma'am!", said the woman beside me. Ha's? The princess? Why is Putri in my room?, as I remember I was facing Vishnu mas, leaving for Jakarta also with Salim, at least those who should have accompanied me. Is Vishnu okay? or he purposely left me to retaliate!! everything me?

My mind was in turmoil, imagining if my heart's fateful gamble ended at the end of a nestapa. I really languish in my cage of selfishness. My eyes were soaked with sleeping pills that I took tonight. I dived into a night of bitter sleep of love I did not know the end of his fate.

****

"Eat first Wit!", mother said this afternoon. I felt guilty for how many times I had to show the same scene. Namely, curled up on the patient's bed, receiving the attention and caress of the mother. I should have taken care of my mother, not the other way around!

"Udah ma'am.Wita vomits again", I replied refusing mother's request. I still feel pain in the stomach and dizziness in the head, because it has almost 5 times I vomited every food that entered my stomach.

"You tea why Wit?, Vishnu has survived, You should be happy. Healthy kituuu...!!! ih lose added mermaids (even more moody) like this".

I don't know, my heart feels terrible now. Last night I was suddenly unconscious after a tight lump in my chest spilled out instantly. When he saw the body of the man whose name was stored in the recesses of this heart, spilled blood stains on his ash shirt.

Throughout the journey Bandung-Jakarta I was really unable to think upright. I was just staring at the road that Salim's steering wheel was tracing with frozen eyes. The shadow of the accident that struck me 7 years ago is truly haunting; the memory loss and death of my father is so scary to me.

I really wouldn't be able to if the word death hit my life again. I can no longer imagine if the name of Vishnu mas can no longer be mentioned in the release of longing. My chest is too tight to think about it. Until the moment I saw her figure, I ran like I lost control and cried like I was spilling everything in my chest.

But what is Vishnu doing today? It disappeared like it swallowed the earth. No news, no news. My heart was suddenly troubled as a nurse answered my question;

"Owh.. Masnya who brought mba here huh? He got hurt pretty bad. Stitched him his arms, his eyelids too. Should have been treated but last night asked to go home directly".

'Go home', the answer that disappointed me for no reason. I should have realized, if I had rejected his presence many times. If he wanted to avoid me, I should have accepted. Receiving my punishment that is not worth the hurt and disappointment that he experienced. I certainly had to let it go, get someone who was more than enough than me.

For a moment I became greedy. Asking everything I want to be mine to God. Aaah. I'm claustrophobic, until nausea strikes me again. HOOEEEK..

****

This afternoon I was busy with my phone. Mother who is usually busy with steaming porridge now looks unusual with the phone I gave you last year.

"Yes, my son, said the doctor, I can't go home today. His blood pressure is still low, still to be infused. He was still vomiting".... "Huhuh?? here?? it's okay 'emang kiddo?.. yes it's good.. ya. wa'alaikumsalam".

I don't know who called Mom, I don't care. Because my annoyance at Vishnu mas has filled my chest too much. I chose to close my eyes on the back of this body in the hospital bed. I've been too limp and dizzy!

But my mother woke me up after the Maghrib. I was too sound like it, so I did not realize the sound of Adhan had greeted the heavy time I went through. I also did not realize now many foreigners who go back and forth arrange food in my ward. Displayed in a table with a variety of simple decorations.

"Mother...who are they?", I asked in wonder.

"Catering officer", replied the mother while helping myself to straighten my body to sit the maghrib prayer.

"For what mom, they're here?"

"Yes. providing food is Wit, a time that I don't know.." again the answer mother made me more dizzy. I ignored my mother and established myself for the Maghrib prayer which had passed ten minutes ago.

After I finished praying, I saw some people I knew walk into my room. Mba Lastri holding Adhis hand smiled at me. Adhis hugged my body. I scanned his entire body, making sure that he was okay.

"Mother.I have souvenirs" he said, giving a cow bell with a picture of the Swiss flag on the hanger.

I then looked at Mba Lastri who had been in front of me doubtfully. She looks beautiful with a dress that I think is not suitable to wear when visiting patients like me, but I do not forget if she is the artist who always looks perfect.

Instantly my mind was confused when remembering, did Vishnu deliberately want to show off his intimacy with the artist today to me? I will accept it Vishnu! Let's just say it's a punishment for me.

But my guess seemed to be wrong when mamah Adhis and her husband cheerfully entered my room, carrying a bag of clothes that I could confirm to be expensive clothes and thrusting it at mom.

"Come on!", bring me mother. I frowned at the sign asking mom. "Ayoo mom help, you change clothes first".

"This is the same teteh bu. let all of you dance" interrupted mamah Adhis.

"Eh??", I asked in wonder.

"Or here in the dandan used to be, papah. come out first for a while!", orders mamah Adhis to her husband.

Mamah Adhis then opened my hijab, wiped my face with a warm towel, swept the moisturizer and powder she was carrying, then put eyeshadow, blush and lipstick on my face.

"Beautiful", he said, laughing with the results he had made. "mba....!?", he asked the nurse. "ask to help change clothes like this!", while offering a bag with the logo of a famous boutique in Jakarta, Mamah Adhis asked for help from the nurse.

I was surprised and asked Mom for an explanation with the look in my eyes. Mother simply answered my question by saying; "This time there was no rejection, the mother decided. You put on his shirt!" In a whisper, my firm voice made me shudder to myself.

"Congratulations mba.", said the nurse in the spacious bathroom to me. "It's handsome again." he continued.

"Indeed why mba?", I asked still with a puzzle in my head.

"Will you get married today? iih.. kayaking in felem-felem yes.emang like masnya really-can not stand it", he said again with a smile that he found.

"Ni..kah.. sama si.. what?", I asked in a thump and a muffled mouth. I'm just worried that my mom is asking me to marry the one who broke my heart again.

"Sir Vishnu, right? who likes to be asked the same questions from earlier?", the nurse's answer made my body look back until I had to hold on to the hands of the nurse who was putting a brooch on my hijab.

####

sorry long wait ya readerr✌🤭 late kebagetan huh??? the uuuh cup cup...

I double up today.. Vote ticket still no kaaan?? set aside a lot to make Vishnu mas ya.. make dowry capital😁😁😁😁