Longsuffering

Limitations

I'm running out of time

hunting down the longing in my baccundang

burning the fire of prophecy

my love runs through the wounds of silent love

-Wita

Jakarta, Vita-Vishnu

Wita Pov's

"Dreaming will not finish the work mba", Revita's voice reprimanded me who was staring blankly at the laptop in front of me. Tonight my concentration is not good. The events of a week ago made me a dazed human being. Not infrequently I answer questions that are not as straightforward as what people ask. I, even once looked foolish in a meeting forum in front of the director of the company that became my partner - mas Vishnu-and the leaders of the company's division.

"How's Ms Wita?", asked Mr. Brian in the middle of the meeting room.

"M-sorry sir.., can the question be repeated?", I replied hesitantly. Suddenly made the members of the meeting in the room laugh. Andra even joked with her cock, "Bu Wita is ragaanya here, her soul in the middle of nowhere". I saw the people in the room laughing. Revita immediately gave me a glass of water. Somehow it was me who I didn't realize looked embarrassing in front of them.

Mas Vishnu who was both a member of the meeting looked at me with lamat. I couldn't understand the meaning of his gaze. From the moment this meeting began, to the moment that my concentration ripples on everyone, it scans all my movements.

I looked confused and surprised by Andra's play in front of the meeting members. Until Vishnu who is parallel to my sitting position across the meeting table sends a short message to me.

want to break first?

I didn't answer the message. I immediately stood up and apologized to the meeting members present for the negligence I had committed that day. Standing up from my seat may help me concentrate more that day. I asked Mr. Brian to repeat what he was going to ask me. I then put on a performance that I had to display in front of my partner that day.

I must admit, the events of the white shirt with the scent of Vishnu romance cornered my feelings. Keep fighting to find a winner, thinning at the taste that soon runs aground. It rests on the drums of past love and the promise of the ring I'm pinning on my ring finger.

So, since that incident I have continued to avoid Vishnu. The next day I even mandated all my business to Revita and chose to return to Bandung under the pretext of having family affairs. Yes, thus, I am a cowardly man who is unable to face reality. The reality of the presence of Vishnu mas who have inscribed many stories about loyalty, wounds, and longing.

I kept running games and hiding from the plays I had to face. I. avoid Vishnu mas in such a way despite what he did like soldiers in uniform war that is not easy to give up on opponents, me and the reality that I presented.

Vishnu now contacts me often. Sending messages, making phone calls, looking for me in his office, which I never cared about. Do you not know Vishnu, I am managing all my emotions in the face of his presence?

Then tonight, my phone screen rang displaying Andra's name, ringing in the middle of Jakarta's night city accompanied by the sound of the capital's vehicle horn in the faint and faint.

What happened to Andra?, the nights calling me. I know Andra's the one with the most commitment to professionalism, but why would a curfew like this contact me?

I picked up the phone that was ringing. However, tonight I must re-prepare all self-defense because the voice that greets my ears is the voice I miss.

"Assalamu'alaikum's chat.. Wita's.. Finally, you lift up as well", his voice so sound trembling full of worry.

"you're healthy, aren't you, Wit?"

"Do you find it hard to meet?", he asked.

"i'm good Mr. Vishnu".

"Where are you?, Bandung?"

"Don't worry Mr. Vishnu, I'm already in Jakarta. Our cooperation will be completed before the date we agreed upon".

"I'm good Mr. Vishnu, if you want to know about it". I answered straightforwardly so that he would no longer give her excessive attention.

"You why Wita?, suddenly cold like this?, I was wrong with you yesterday? ha?", asked Vishnu who branded myself behaving 'suddenly' coldly. Mas Vishnu do not realize if my 'cold' has been I destroyed since this ring is embedded in my ring finger?

I then set up my imbalance to gain the power to answer his grievances.

"No", I answered briefly. It's true there's nothing wrong. But I have to give him firmness. I'm an engaged woman who's about to have her wedding.

"are you angry?"

"No", I answered back.

"Until when is Wita?, until when are you like this? Stop avoiding me!", a sentence that immediately makes the same question. Until when did Vishnu realize?, if I would never take it back.

****

I am now in the room of Vishnu. This room feels cold, stretching all the way to my sidelines even though the current time in the digital clock on my phone is 13:00. I sat on the edge of the single chair waiting for the occupant of the room to come out of his private room. This afternoon I must immediately submit Inhouse Training planning, which is the 3rd stage of consulting services after two months is running as it should.

"Wait a long time?", asked Vishnu while tidying up the twisting of the shirt that I saw look wet. His face looked fresh with a firm body scent. His hair still looks wet, the rest of the water is praying today.

Where was his anger last night?, which made my eyes blur at every inch of my restless dreams. Tearing apart the tranquility of my night with a matchless shriek of pain. I even let go of the tears that accompanied the preservation of my night due to a nightmare that I experienced last night. The nightmare that for the past two months has not hurt me, but last night, I was reborn as a sick person in the light of my solitude.

"Have lunch?"

"Already sir!" my answer.

"OK..so..how?" he held both of his elbows to his knees while looking at me.

I explained everything I had to tell him. An advanced training program based on Team Building which will be held next week. Having a self-development concept, building team performance in the company.

"Each psychological report will be quality control by the team from the center so that the quality of the report will be as good for each psychological report". I end my explanation with that sentence.

Before long, Vishnu closed the file he read. He leaned his back against the back of his long sofa. Then stare at me sharply.

That angry look now shakes my eyes. My heart is getting more and more unguided and in control.

"You.. Until when will you avoid me Wita?"

"This is not part of our discussion today Mr. Vishnu"

"Stop Wita, please! are you really going to forget me?"

"I've been waiting for someone, but you must remember Vishnu sir. My past has been a long time since 7 years ago".

"You intend to punish me from my past? You intend to punish me with your marriage? Don't you feel how crazy I am? Wita.. please!!"

"I am not punishing anyone, Vishnu. You should be aware of your current limits".

Mas Vishnu, there is no sentence that I can lend to the hollow and thick recesses of my soul other than, stop Vishnu because I will move from the past in your name!