Longsuffering

Soul Singing

Do you guys know?

this insanity is as thin as a needle between sane and shattered.

-Wita

Jakarta, Wita-Ado

Wita POVs

If I could delete a little yesterday, I would delete that session. When the mas Vishnu section is given space to talk. Or. I should pretend to have urgent needs to leave the classroom. But the fact is I am a participant who obeys the rules set by the committee. I chose to sit in the back seat, so that my existence could not be observed by the Vishnu mas.

The night before I had prepared myself for that day. I told Lanis about my health condition to avoid the various possibilities.

"Did you see Vishnu before?", asked Lanis inquiring.

"well, I had a glimpse last night of dinner with the organizers" I replied.

"Are you having a strange reaction?", asked Lanis again.

"Thank God, everything is under control". I weighed in before answering, because in reality I had experienced nothing at that time. It might be true what Lanis said, I'm already improving at the moment. I hope that.

But my body felt shivering with a slight heat - it seemed - while sitting in the Convention Hall room of this hotel. Symptoms that I had never experienced before, both palms of my hands were warming, my throat was dry and my head felt dizzy.

I tried to stay in that condition and chose to focus on the speaker. Mas Vishnu Permana look stunning with all the breadth of his knowledge. I have no regrets about dropping my heart on him first, then or today he was so amazing. The white shirt he rolled on his arm, fitted with a Slim Fit Tailored Cropped Trousers trousers and casual leather shoes really confirmed his stand as a young director. I look closely at the figure who once borrowed my heart to be present in colored days, is this really Vishnu mas?, I am happy to see it.

But being happy for me doesn't feel like it's worth the happiness. For I saw the tone of hatred that swooped at the word he uttered complete with a sharp gush of his unsettling eyes. I gasped when I heard that his departure to Switzerland was the way to throw away all the beautiful ideals he had set. How did that happiness disappear because of me?. Is the figure of the young artist who introduced himself as a close friend of Vishnu can not erase all traces of me?.

I pegged in my bow that day, holding back all my blazing guilt. Stop Vishnu, I deserve to be rewarded with your anger but you have to move from my wound. Until I couldn't answer what he was asking. He stepped closer and said "what is the reason you became a teacher of Dewita Maharani". I glazed over, stop your sorrow Vishnu, I gave up, I lost.

****

Today I should be grateful that yesterday I was able to control myself well. Vishnu was kind enough to stop the question-and-answer session that made me remember all my mistakes.

On the closing day of the afternoon I arranged for everything to happen. I spread my eyes in all directions. Check out one by one the humans present here. Mas Vishnu does not exist, like the incident 3 months ago when my trial was still held, Vishnu just disappeared.

I was involved in the closing ceremony. The actual event is said by Mr. Burhan as an entertainment event that will be held from eight to nine thirty at night. Some people perform on stage singing various songs they like as a punishment. There was only, at the time of yesterday's material in the class mentioned that there was no longer a word of punishment in education this time the committee actually made an event that invited a lot of laughter from us as a form of punishment. Do not be surprised, if the sound we offer is mostly the sound of an impromptu artist who usually sings in the bathroom.

I was a little surprised as my friends pushed my body forward onto the stage. I saw the happy twinkle that Mr. Burhan showed me. "Come bu Dewita, accept the punishment", immediately his speech invited the laughter of the participants. I smile and enjoy our happiness.

But my smile stopped when the figure of Vishnu suddenly in this room. My shock multiplied and suddenly struck my heart and breath as I looked at the jacket. The jacket is a vintage light blue jeans jacket that I always saw 7 years ago, now looks so fit on the body of the owner. Reminds me of the past that I was fighting for I decomposed into pieces of foam and disappeared.

My body suddenly shook, my heart was rumbling. No!, not now Wita!, Lanis said you have improved!. I tried to suggest myself.

My face is now heated when I see the man in a vintage blue jeans jacket that got a whisper that I do not know what, from a woman who has declared herself as a close friend of Vishnu mas.

I look into the eyes of Vishnu, there is anger and longing that I keep too tight in my chest. Getting angry? why am I angry?, is it because of the presence of Vishnu? or the presence of a beautiful artist next to him?. Say I am crazy, but my gaze is not stopped by a song that I chant with all the pain that I muffled, looking for true love.

I have to stay in control, I overflow all these emotions with the lyrics I've written in my song. Let this be my madness today. LEST!.

Uncompletely I finished my task and madness on this stage, I was jolted by the figure of the little girl running towards me with a happy twinkle. He hugged me, so suddenly I carried his body in my arms. I continued to sing in a state of holding Adhis who continued to tighten his embrace of the unspeakable sign of longing. You know son, I miss you so much too!.

Until I finally finished my singing, Adhis refused to move and continued to hug and tighten his face on my neck. When I decided to take a step, he thrashed. Whatisthis? can't I just stay on this stage?. Or. I will find Vishnu's anger over the current scene. I have to persuade Adhis!!!.

I set out another crazy idea to unravel the little girl's embrace. He nodded and smiled. He came down from my lap without me asking. Ah.. BINGO..!

The clapping and whistling I heard as I said "Adhis.. Grab Stars". Little Adhis and I will return to vent all the emotions we have. As we always do in the art room. Soundproof room equipped with a large mirror. Singing and shouting at will so that we get a little relief to face the emotions and soul crush that never ends.

I did not think that our habit that I called as therapy for Adhis at this Gemintang Dewun school would be displayed in front of the crowd. Guitar kupet owned by Mr. Burhan, mememabi sound and agility Adhis who evaporate his happiness.

Confiscators

Every moment every time

This is the moment I've been waiting for

I proved it today

I'm sure I'll win

Today is remembered

All prayers I offer

History I present

Adhis

Keep focusing one point, that's the only point

Keep our focus on going beyond the limit

Keep focusing one point, that's the only point

Stay focused and catch the stars

I heard the applause and shouts of the participants in the classroom echoing. Praising the tiny figure who was agilely moving and singing. Even I heard Adhis with his voice shouting to the audience, "let's all sing with Adhis!!!"..

Adhis

Yo yo come on. yo come on. Yo yo come on. yo come on.

Yo yo come on. yo come on. Yo yo. ooo.

Yo yo come on. yo come on. Yo yo come on. yo come on.

Yo yo come on. We come we get us the win.

Confiscators

If you win

If you lose, do not be frustrated

Adhis

They win solidarity

We're sportsmanship.wo.o..

With his crisp voice and unclear articulation, Adhis was truly entertaining. He hugged me back after we had resolved our madness. I carried Adhis to get off the stage. I still continued to stand on the edge of the stage with my full concentration regulating all my emotions. There's no way I should be lying here. My chest is indeed tight but I have to face the current situation. I whispered back a sentence that made my heart regret, to Adhis.

"Aphis wants a gift from Mommy?", she nodded in my arms.

"Aphis now to the father first yes. Mother wants to take her gift in the mother's room".

At once the Adhis puffed up and looked at me. He smiled and kissed me. Get down from my sling and say. "Adhis wait, Mother, Adhis same father first". He then ran towards Vishnu.

With tears I did not think long to turn my body. Run towards my seat, pick up the bag and get out of the room. Half gasping I kept running towards the elevator and pressed button 7 towards my room. I packed all my things with sweat and body temperature started to heat up, then I called my best friend.

"Lanis, what distance Jakarta-Bandung can make me survive?".

"Ha??, What?"