Longsuffering

Longsuffering

let's look back

in fact I am as stupid as my black past!!

- Vishnu

Jakarta, Wisnu - Teh Rumi - Wita

Vishnu Pov

My feelings today are not good. Working with Andra is not what it used to be. Passing the meeting schedule and meeting with clients in conditions that do not concentrate. "What the hell is bang? not usually less focused?". The tender I just signed with a foreign company almost failed because of my actions that were not focused on my work.

I smiled at my assistant. Then answer all my thoughts today with a gamelan statement. "I haven't healed Wita's trauma like Ndra. Wita even became sicker as it seemed".

For a moment I felt, had failed to bring Wita to the 'happy' throne I wanted. My heart throbbed when I imagined that. The person who has become my happy axis, in fact, has not been able to be completely happy with me. But I can't give up, can I? Didn't I make up my mind that no matter what happens, I will heal Wita from the trauma she experienced as a result of my past actions.

"What does it look like?, still having trouble sleeping?", asked Andra to me. I had never found My Lady having trouble sleeping except for her increasingly pale face and occasionally spewing out her entrails. These three days I asked her to rest after she insisted on not seeing Lanis. Since long ago he did not want to check his psychological condition on anyone.

"Ndra, just vomit it until it does not want to eat all day", I answered laughed. Wita's condition is not good in my opinion. I even told my wife's condition to Teh Rumi. As if understanding what I need, two days already Teh Rumi was in Jakarta under the pretext of preparing a reception that had approached H-8. In fact, Teh Rumi replaces the role of Wita who is now only able to lie weak. Rumi Tea is an amazing mama Adhis. I am grateful for it.

"Don't-don't mba Wita.!", Andra paused in his sentence. He hung a clear sentence that made him hesitate to continue his speech. He probably knew that his conjecture would ignite the flames of my fear that I had been deeply immersing.

"Don't what is Ndra?" my question was accompanied by an erratic heartbeat. Was-was alone if indeed my guess with Andra in fact the same.

"Pregnant.", the answer is weak. I rubbed my face rough. The shadow of Restari stretched stiffly over the Hospital blankar after giving birth to Adhis suddenly invaded my memory. Can I be selfish? that I only need Wita in my life. I was so petty as to realize that God's destiny was so overpowering to me. I turned out to be just a man labeled a foolish man who was unable to raise the flag of courage and confidence that the line of life outlined by God was not always the same.

"Astagfirullah.", I cupped my palms together. Shaking along with the rumbling of the heart racing and the breathing sting. Now, if the law of karma is in fact in life, then call it that it has applied to me. I can feel the pain of the trauma that Wita experienced. Piercing every joint of life we have. Stale with the rest of the breath that never knows will lead to the edge of life which.

"I can't stand Ndra" I said without daring to open the arms of my palms. My eyes are reluctant to open to just see the light of office lights at a time that is now moving at night. "I just need Wita, I don't need Wita to give birth to my son, no need!", I said softly until the sound of something falling was so clearly heard in the ear. My eyes were round looking at the figure whose name I just called. I stared at him standing in front of me. She looked at me with teary eyes. Without a word, Wita ran towards the exit leaving her bag dropped. The bag that seemed to scatter all its contents scattered on the floor.

"With.. Wita.." I chased after him after a few minutes of pecking like a stupid man. I felt hypnotized by the suddenly gripping atmosphere. And today gripping is no longer a word commensurate with the fate I experienced. After Andra revealed a telling sentence to me. In my suffocating breath chasing the car carrying Wita has now vanished from my sight.

"Hopefully, Mr. Vishnu no longer makes a story whose name is lost mba Wita!!"

***

"Come Tea. This is not fair to Vishnu, pity Wita Teh". Rumi tea always ignored my whining to meet Wita. Two days of Rumi Tea separated me and Wita after the incident the other day in my office. I'm frustrated with it. Where is Wita now? Said Salim Wita accompanied by his mother resting somewhere. When Wita heard my stupid rant, Wita was no longer home. I followed him to Bandung was not there. Then my beloved brother lectured me and ended up saying, "Wita Sama Teteh sent to a safe place. Don't worry, he's accompanied by mom. You, IT'S FORBIDDEN TO MEET HER until Wita gives birth!!!" Why does Rumi Tea make my situation even more complicated?

"Please Tea!! Vishnu cannot live without Vita. Vishnu also wants to meet the son of Vishnu", said I while looking at a photo of USG results on behalf of Dewita Maharani. There was a swish of warmth when I looked at my baby who still saw the blood clot. How are you, son?? kangen's dad!

"Let's know how you feel!!, his pregnant wife doesn't even want to. Everywhere if I have a wife who wants to cepet have children", delikan eyes Rumi Tea make my hair bediri. "Wita same baby should be healthy, deket same you who are making Wita more sad. Teteh aja certainly will not be strong if you know the husband of Teteh does not want a child from Teteh".

I'm not cracking my brother's babble. I opened the phone and sent a message to Wita. The message I knew had never been read by him because his phone also went with Rumi Tea was wiped out of my reach.

Wita's..

Mas kangen's

Our son how are you?

Be healthy, you guys!!

As I looked at my message, a message from a foreign number came in and suddenly made me stand up, run and get my car keys.

"Hey.. Where are you going? this is your breakfast not finished yet", cried Rumi Tea to me.

"There is an urgent need for Tea. Vishnu has business outside the city. Titip Adhis yes Tea!", I returned hastily to the dining room and kissed my magical sister's forehead and obliterated myself from her sight. Sukabumi, my destination city!

I plugged the car's gas pedal into the address you sent. I didn't even need time to rest my body, because Wita and my son were the goals I missed the most.

Arriving at the house you call the villa I widened my smile. My mother greeted me in a soft voice. Half whispering he said, "would Vishnu eat first? do you want to make coffee?"

"Where is the mom?" I ignored his offer. I really can't wait to see Wita.

"In the room, again sleeping". Mother pointed towards the room with a high and wide teak door. I broke off my footsteps with a thumping heart. If you think about it, I'm like the first time I'm gonna meet him. When I desperately asked her to be my lover.

I opened the door, the corner of my eye caught the figure of the woman I missed. Weakly curled up on the small bed of this house. I approached him who was lying behind me.

I know he's awake. I hugged her from behind, slid my finger over her stomach.

"How's dad's son doing? Is it okay with Mother?" my words were greeted with the touch of Wita's hand on my finger. I hugged him tightly. My biggest unforgivable mistake, too much fear of facing a fate that has not even been my destiny. I am that arrogant human! Which precedes the will of God with my superficial prejudices.

"Eat ya!" my door.

"We like to vomit" he said weakly.

I turned her body slowly. I kissed her belly that was containing my heart. Then I said the longing for the greatest gift to me. "Great father's son, help mommy to eat huh? let your mother be strong you are also healthy".

Wita rubbed my hair gently. I puffed up and kissed her soft thin lips. "Be a strong mother to my dear children! I-i'm sorry! i-i'm sorry! Please help me to be old. With our kids".

"..."

"How many children do you want?"

"Four", he answered.

"Well, there's a lot of it, at home it must be crowded".

Wita hugged me tightly. I returned his embrace and kissed the top of his head.

"Eat ya!"

"Wita wants to take a walk to the rice field in front of her father dede utun", her voice is very sweet in my ears.

"Yes.we take a walk to the rice field. Let the three of us be strong, let's eat first!". He nodded and darkened his face on my chest, inhaling my body deeply. Wita, you're my woman. Mother to my children.

***

Love for me is the breeze of the morning, the leaves of the heart that refresh the soul. Favoring the depth of affection with an insufferable longing. Love for me is blue sky. Extensive stretches of hope and traces of the warmth of the heart's sun. Love for me is courage. Installing a tough gun to destroy a virus called fear that gnaws the guts. Love for me is the grip of the hand. Coveted on promises, pinning the streets of life into thousands of sites and traces of longing history that stretched far to the end of time. Love for me is Missing..

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who does Dede look like?🤭🤭

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