ISTIKHARAH LOVE
Scenario God #13
When we try to reopen a long-closed heart, it feels like.....
it cannot be described with a string of words, initially doubtful and fearful, but as time passes, the fear incarnates an unstoppable longing.
traumatic feelings are natural, but we can't keep getting caught up in that feeling, trying to open a new page for a new life is the best way for us to be able to enjoy life once again.
do not let the pain that imprints because of the wounds in the past become an obstacle for us to advance.
when in the middle of the journey your heart is scratched back, just think of the process of self-maturity.
who knows with the various sick processes that we go through it will lead us to the peak point that God has prepared for us.
so, stay up your spirits don't give up!
I'm still with you. 😊
*
before long the car we were riding in arrived in front of Mother's house, before I got off, I asked Kinan to make sure.
"do you really want to see Mom?"
he just nodded without saying.
I replied with a smile and opened the door to the house.
"Assalamualikum.." I said from the front door.
I saw Kinan still silent and lowered his gaze from my sight.
soon the door opened, and Mother was seen from behind the door.
"Waalaikumsalam, Jo has come home" replied Mother still holding the door handle.
I grabbed her hand and pressed it against my forehead.
mother smiled, then her eyes glanced at Kinan who was still bowed.
after a few seconds, Kinan grabbed Mom's hand and greeted her.
"good evening aunt, I'm Kinan" he said
"kok Jojo never had a story as beautiful as this, come on in baby, out cold"
mother invited us to enter, we walked together, but Kinan put a little distance with me and Mother.
The weather in Jakarta was cold, the rain that fell outside gave a different warmth when we entered the house.
Mother gave Kinan a towel to dry his slightly wet hair when he was about to get out of the car and walk to the porch.
"It's a pity so don't get dizzy his head wants to use a towel first yes, tar Mother make Tea to warm"
then Mother moved from before us, I allowed Kinan to wait and sit first, while I walked to the room to change my clothes which were also slightly wet.
"You wait here first yes, I want to change clothes first" I said and left him.
Kinan just smiled, then sat down and dried his hair with the towel that mom gave him.
before I actually left before him, I stopped and watched Kinan from afar.
in my heart I murmured.
"O Allah, if this is the answer to the Prayer that I have been offering, then bless us, launch all our intentions and desires"
after I finished I immediately returned to the living room to meet Kinan, I saw that this time Kinan was not alone, he was talking to Mother, I don't know what was discussed, he said, but it seems like Mom and Kinan already know each other.
"Then I said yaa" I said as I sat next to Mom.
"to your PD, wong Ibu again discuss skincare kok the same Kinan. it turns out we use some of the same products, right baby?" answer Mother
"yes Aunt" Iinan only spoke a few words
"Any mother does not need a aunt, time to the Prospective in-laws call her aunty"
"Mom.." I was shocked.
"this is the Kinan you once told Mother Jo"
I saw Kinan's face gradually turning red, when it became very awward.
I took this moment as a request for blessing to Mother for both of us, without being trite I then introduced Kinan to Mother.
"Bu.. This Kinan who Jojo once told to Mom, Lusa Jojo and Kinan will go to Bandung to meet Kinan's Father and Mother. Jojo ask for prayers and blessings Mother yes, Pray everything goes according to what is expected yes Mom" pinta ku while holding Mom's hand
"Kinan, here baby" said Mother while hinting Kinan to sit next to her.
Kinan got up from his seat and sat down beside Mom.
Mother grabbed Kinan's shoulder and spoke.
"Dear, Beautiful, Mother Jojo yaa titip, do not worry, Jojo never troublesome, Jojo never make Mother cry, and InsyaAlloh Jojo will also do the same for you"
I don't know from when, but my tears started to pool and drip on her cheeks.
I saw Kinan too.
then Mom put her arm around my shoulder too and said.
"Joe... I know you are an adult, you can choose your own path, if this is what you choose, whatever you will face in the future, you must be strong, yes, you have to finish what you started, take good care of yourself son, Mother's prayer is always with you"
I nodded and hugged Mom and Kinan, we looked at each other, I saw Kinan's tears flowing very hard.
but it also looks like a happy smile that is clearly drawn between her thin lips.
*
after an emotionally draining event last night, our day goes on as mestiny.
it doesn't feel like today has arrived.
we were ready to go to Bandung, where Mother and Father Kinan were waiting for us.
when he was about to get ready, suddenly a message came in.
*tring...*
the message came in, I got a conscious phone call lying on the bed, written from Kinan.
I opened and
"Jo.no matter what happens, no matter what happens, I'll stay with you"
as soon as I thought about the message, I just smiled as I strengthened my heart again, rounding up my resolve and conviction, that this was a new chapter in the Book of my travels that I had long desired..
when I was about to walk out, I saw Mom sitting on the front bench of the house, her eyes closed.
I approached her, then sat down next to her, I grabbed her hand and said.
"Mom... Jojo said yes, wish you the best"
Mom opened her eyes and smiled without saying a word, she just rubbed my hair, then kissed it.
I stood up from my seat.
"Assalamualaikum" I said and left before him.
a smile I haven't seen in a long time from Mom's face.
Mother waved her hand at me, I saw her hands occasionally wiping away the tears that started to drip.
"Bismillah." I muttered inwardly, then walked towards the parked car.
I drove my car at a normal speed, all the way to Kostan Kinan I was incessantly praying, asking agara to be given the best.
"God, there have been so many life journeys that I have been through, fallen, awakened, hurt, disappointed and many others, for this time allow me to feel happy, with Kinan"
