ISTIKHARAH LOVE

ISTIKHAARAH

After the long night that I passed, I completely rediscovered the calmness of heart that I had long sought and longed for, like finding Oase in the middle of the desert, I felt like I had found it.

Two days before it's finished

That morning we were doing our usual activities, going to the Clinic, serving the residents who were on medication, my eyes were swollen and red from crying all night.

"Jo matalu why??" ask Citra

"kaga anything Cit, last night I was very difficult to sleep, kept the cake was flickering dust" said I as I rubbed my eyes.

"really Jo?? do I need to check?" citra said

"no Cit, I'm using drops"

"have you wait, I'll take it first" Image passed to get me eye drops.

after a few minutes he came with eye drops that he held

"Nih Jo" Citra thrust it at me.

I took it, and thanked him.

"Thanks to Cit" I said

Nodding Imagery.

"gw help me, sullen" The image took back Obag's eye drops, then dripped a few drops into my eyes.

"how?? it's light??" ask Citra while looking at my eyes.

"better is, good"

"Thank God that's it..."

"Git..."

The image turned towards me

"What Jo??" tannya

"Do you know if Zahra has been betrothed?"

Zahra shut her mouth a sign of being very surprised by what I just talked about.

he spontaneously picked up a plastic stool and sat in front of me.

"Seriously Jo??? Same who?? how could you know?? Zahra Story?? keep how?? Zahra nerima??"

"one and one Cit dong..."

"yes, sorry, his brother was really in severe shock"

"Zahra betrothed Pak Kyai with Ihrom, at first Zahra looked like Ragu that, but I don't know"

"yahh Jo, I'm so sad, so be patient, InsyaAlloh you can definitely get more than Zahra, Spirit!!!"

"it's okay Cit, if it's not a soul mate, how else, right??"

"Seriously, Jo lo is okay, yes even though I know behind the word "nothing" you stored a very painful feeling that is very slashing."

"ahhh so tau lu Cit, rich ever ngalamin aja"

"Haduhhh Amit-amit dah, do not ampe"

"hhhh forgot you have King Hartono now, hahah"

"can lo Jo, yaudah spirit yes!! tomorrow's the last day"

"Yes Cit, it doesn't feel right"

Imagery nodded

"gw ahead first Jo"

"ok"

The image rose from his seat, passed from before me, I just silently watched the surroundings, then muttered inwardly.

"thank you for wanting to be our home here, I hope you can always be the helper of every Citizen who needs you"

no afternoon in front of my eyes,

That afternoon the zahra delivered a message, asking me to come to the back hill, I don't know what the zahra will talk about.

Arriving there again no one, for the umpteenth time I felt very disappointed, for what exactly Zahra asked me to come here but here I am only alone.

I'm trying to wait. But for almost an hour I waited, but Zahra never showed his presence.

I decided to just go back to the cottage, but when I was about to turn around, I was amazed by the existence of zahra who was watching me while crying.

I asked him.

“Zahra why are you crying??”

Zahra just shook her head, wiping her tears occasionally.

“forgive zahra mas.”

The voice sounded disjointed, I approached him

“sorry for apa”.

“actually zahra has from earlier noticed mas jhonatan, but.. “ his words interrupted.

“but why??”

“zahra just want to see the jhonatan mas longer, before the mas jhonatan return to the city the next day.” Zahra's voice sounds very soft, his eyes are very moist, his cheeks wet.

“then why are you crying??”

“zahra afraid of not being able to meet with mas jhonatan again”

“why say that??” much

“esok the day after the jhonatan mas completed his task here, zahra will be married to mas ihrom.”

I just sighed while holding back the tears that were trying to surge to get out.

Trying to smile, I said.

“huffft.... thank goodness then, so I don't have to worry when I get back to the city, zahra is already there to guard..”.

“but mas ihrom is not the man that zahra wants”

I grabbed her hand while occasionally wiping away the tears and replied.

“listen zahra..... Allaah knows what is good for zahra and remember, Allaah gives what his servant needs not what he wants, Zahra's duty is only to follow God's provisions.." not yet selesia I said, Zahra said, Zahra cut my conversation

"But why??"

"Don't ask why, because God knows best"

“Zahra not sure mas..” says zahra.

“doSignalahlah to Allah, for the result let only you know, try and rely better than just denouncing”

The sound made us stunned, the origin was from behind. When we looked, Ihrom walked over to us.

“how will you be sure.. You just do not know me further, Alloh will not make a plan like this if there is no purpose behind this all. Trust.”

I tried to wipe my tears and stood away from the two of them while allowing Ihrom to sit beside the zahra.

“i am sure of what Allah has outlined for us, matchmaking does not always end tragically. The tragic thing is that because they cannot be open to each other, they are not ready to learn to love again, there is no harm we try, for the result we leave it to the regulator (Alloh), for the result, we as humans his task is only to try, just live what is later if in the middle of the journey you give up, return and ask for His help. insayaAlloh you can.”

Zahra just bowed.

"Allow me to prove it." said Ihrom

“you are absolutely sure mas??” ask zahra

Before Ihrom answered Zahra's question, I turned my body and said.

“what Ihrom says is true, good women will meet good men too. And I'm sure Ihrom is the best to be with you... “

Ihrom just nodded and zahra just lowered her head without making a sound. I sighed and continued my words.

“huft.... Then I say goodbye first.”.

Ihrom stood up and grabbed my hand.

“thank you for accompanying zahra all this time.”.

I hugged Ihrom and replied to her words.

“keep him well, do not let a single tear of sadness come out of his eyes, if that happens, I will be the first to meet you”

I let go of my embrace and panted at the zahra, I pat her on the shoulder, leaving behind a few words.

“Mas hope you are always happy, Mas sure only together if you can be happy, do not worry about Mas, Mas Ikhlas, we are not destined to be together, Mas Prayer will continue to accompany Zahra wherever, he said, and with anyone . Pamit ya, don't be so bad anymore.. Assalamualaikum.”

Zahra was still crying, while Ihrom returned my greetings.

“waalaikumsalam..”

I left the two of them, it felt like this step was very heavy, the sky was falling on me, my gaze was empty, my steps were rhythmic.

I don't know what I should do...

That night I prayed Istikharah while asking for instructions to be facilitated all my steps without any doubt.

In prayer I ask.

“Ya Alloh I have traveled far, my road is very long, my boat has sailed very far into the middle of the ocean, but I have not found my choice, yet, If my decision to stop loving Zahra is my best decision, please let my heart go, Please allow yourself to see Zahra happy with Ihrom and let this heart wander back to see your wonderful creation. But if my decision is wrong, unite us, let us together build a dock of happiness before you. Aamiin.”

That night I couldn't fall asleep, I thought my mind was so fucked up.

Finally I decided to cool my mind on the bench under the tree where I told Pade Suryo and Ricky.

I just sat there thinking about every word I said this afternoon.

“Assalamualaikum.”

I turned and it turned out to be Pade Suryo.

“walaikumsalam.

“by Pade sitting.”

“please Pade.”

“why... nak Jhonatan has not slept??”

“again hard to break Pade.”

“don't lie. from earlier pade notice you daydream constantly. It is not good to be kept alone. Come... who knows Pade can help.”

“no Pade, just want to enjoy my last nights in this village only.”

Pade stood up and said.

“then let's join Pade.”

“where's Pade??”

“lohhhh said earlier to enjoy this village, yes come pade anter surrounded this Village.”

“iya pade.”

Me and Pade went around the village, and the quiet atmosphere made it hard for me to leave this village.

Pade then asked.

“if you don't mind pade can ask something??”

“please pade”

“actually what makes nak Jhonatan change direction.”

"change in direction how's Pade?" much

"yes, as long as PaDe used to be your mother and father are fine people"

“hmmmm. Father was often served out of town, mother was also the same, continued Mr. Ketauan had a simple, finally mother and father separated, I became neglected, I was taken care of Uncle, Uncle, but before long my Uncle left me for ever, for the umpteenth time I felt neglected, yes even though Mom and Dad could not be off the responsibility. I vent my frustration with Drunkenness, drugs even I often buy women so I can vent my frustration, but trust me... all the women I bought just for me to hurt without the slightest bit of me touching it.”

“then what makes you come back??”

“Zahra...” tegasku.

“why with zahra??”

“zahra is what makes me believe in true love, zahra is what makes me come back, zahra who has returned everything, but unfortunately I will soon lose the figure of the woman.”.

“loh why??”

“zahra has been betrothed to Ihrom pade..”

“everything is not too late.. You still have a speck of gap..”

“i will close the gap pade.. I am selfish if I emphasize the opinion that I should be with Zahra. I'm sure Alloh has prepared a tough woman like zahra might even be more than zahra.”

Pade patted me on the shoulder and said.

“you are indeed a tough guy.”.

“akupun hope so .”

“youis... if so pade want to ask.. how was the impression during his stay in the village here?”

“seneng Pade, so many lessons I learned during my stay here. Here all its citizens blend in, do not look at treasures or thrones. But what I will miss most is the atmosphere like this Pade. silent, quiet no exhaust fumes, no honking noise. Anyway I'm gonna miss this moment.”

“then so often play here.This village will always be open to nak Jhonatan and friends.”.

“insyaAlloh Pade.

That night I and Pade spent the night circling the village, until it did not feel time had shown at two o'clock .

“kalo gitu pade pump , Assalamualaikum..”.

“thank you Pade..”

Pade nodded and left me in front of the cottage.

I went in and tried to close my eyes for a while.

tomorrow is our last day here, last night Ricky's bike was already packing his stuff, it looks like the backpack is already very full, all equipment such as laptops and others are no longer on the table.

only my equipment is still scattered in the cowboy.

I lay down my body, I stared at the clock that kept turning, until I finally fell asleep in my sleep.