Behind the Beautiful Smile

Ilfil was friends

I am a new student in 5th grade, I have to introduce myself. He was just told to go ahead of class. Shame it feels, there are cynical lamentations, there are happy lamentations, there are funny laments because there are male friends also new students. We both don't know each other, funny acquaintance in front of the class so the laughing stock

" Good morning I'm Renna" I smiled and lowered my head

" The same acquaintance beside you, what's his name ren? " the teacher pointed to the new student.

" I don't know Mom" I replied

Everyone laughs.

" You don't know? kirain mom she's your friend, you guys just go to class" said the teacher.

" I don't know Mom" I replied

I sat on the back bench with Nunu, he's hard to talk to, but there's a need for him he's just talking. Behind the last there is Ani and Kiki they both like to joke, like to see them talk that joke.

Ani is best at chatting from Nunu and Kiki, if kiki usually snapped.

I also went home from school to be friends with Ani, ani alibi if I take my way to let her mother because I am a new child, do not know what reason so that ani can be allowed out of the house.

But it was only in the beginning allowed, for a long time I became the material of a scapegoat frankly to his mother, whereas ani who took me for a walk.

" You this way continue to invite ani, I've told ani to stay at home, the reasons are all kinds, I can't believe, girls should be at home just help their mother. Which one is your parent, so you're easy to wander around?" Snapped Ani's mother

" My parents are not here, I live with my aunt, excuse me if that's your mother. I just want to go home" soon I go home, embarrassed to be angry with your mother Ani

Want to cry but embarrassed, on the road while pedaling a fast bike. it turns out I used ani to be able to play out of the house.

Not only ani, there is more mella, but mella is very far from her home, no matter so know the journey of mother's hometown. All refreshing.

Pick up mella, her fragile wooden house. But mella if the clothes like adults. Turns out he wants to meet his boyfriend.

I was used again, but nothing to be added friends even though it was his boyfriend.

I was also told to pick up ani, like their ojek, I was confused position, said mella pick up ani in her house, usually ani shopping there. Don't let her mother know.

I do, than I have no friends. It turned out that mella along the way her boyfriend, me and Ani were told to wait in front of her friend's house. We were there messing around.

When mella came home from the streets with her boyfriend. Ani's angry.

"You don't play, even go with your girlfriend?, I want to go home, later in search of my mother" said Ani to Mella, take Ani to me to go home.

" Just go home, your mother is fierce, I even want to take you to my house to eat fruit-assem, but you rush home" said mella

"No need, yuk ren take me to my house" said Ani to Mella and then take ani to come home to me 

Mella also wanted to go home, she said "Finished from Ani's place, take me home too yah ren!!"

" Yes yes, yes I took Ani first" I replied

Ani nagged all the way, she was the one pedaling her bike, I was less heard due to the rumbling of street noises. Just what he's talking about. Ani's big stature, I can't afford to screw her, ani herself who initiative bonceng.

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Time off, the sound of bells ringing. Teng teng.....

I approached Ani to eat in the cafeteria, Ani ignored, she and nunu ran a little avoiding me.

Mella also avoids me, confused about who to be friends with, embarrassed to be friends with others.

I realized that it was no different for me from my school in the city, making friends at first and then staying away, if friends just want them, they just want to, if I don't want to be kept away or they prestige friends.

I became the subject of conversation because I was difficult to discipline the time, it affected until I went to college. Frequently late.

So bullyan friends and teachers.

I if I wake up early in the morning easily cape, ortu or aunty less attention because busy working. I'm anything slow.

Often in the ugly bully, the slow queen or the balsam queen, I was prone to flu cough and asthma, even vomiting phlegm. Even the teacher himself bullied as well.

" Renna, you until magrib play mulu swim in the river, told to go home instead back and forth through the front of the mother's house, you should not play a lot, so late to go to school" Speak to your teacher in front of your friends in class.

That's how my reaction was reprimanded or in bully just a silent smile.

Some are gurgling, some are laughing, some are laughing cynically, some are screaming.

"Hahahahhahaha" all the disciples.

I laughed too, but I stopped. "Have you guys not been like Renna yah" quipped the teacher.

I just smile feeling also offended, what to say angry was seemed more ridiculous.

I want the message of mother, thank God I can go to school, do not be discouraged from school, even though less smart, or do not have friends, must go to school. Because I once confided to my mother while at school in the city. 

Mother herself wants to feel the school until graduation, but the mother has no tuition fees because the mother's parents are not people.

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I try to approach ani again during break time, because ani when in class is easy to chat or discussion, but ani instead stay away with nunu during break time.

Ani also said "Don't approach me again, you are a rich child, my mother rebuked me not to be friends with you anymore"

"What's wrong? I don't get it? " Task me.

Even Nunu commented, "we've been there, yu, he's a child where understanding is explained"

I was silent, I felt like crying but embarrassed, but I was not discouraged, trying to blend into another, but just as not in the face.

Hang out in class or sports, but during my break I was shunned. I'm ready because I've been used to it for a long time.

I still have friends talking to uncle canteen and adek class to join the play.

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The bike is gone, because stepfather put the bike forgot in the key, I go to school sometimes on foot, sometimes riding a rickshaw if riding a pedicab do not eat, just snack snacks are cheap.

Frequent riding because of fear of being late. Still late because bargaining first with the rickshawman, my subscription rickshaw is rarely there, even though he has a cheap subscription.

I went to school on foot, so many friends walked, only I was far away from home. Because I went through the river bank a lot of shady trees on the edge, approximately approximately 3 km. I went through housing, river banks, bridges, and through big markets and then housing. 

The pocket money in love is only two thousand, one thousand for a rickshaw, one thousand for a snack. Sometimes rickshaw one thousand five hundred if there is no rickshaw subscription. Five hundred leftovers for drinks only.

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My friend's name is sisi and siva, less like me. They sit at the front, they can be said smart, different from the smart one. The smart ones or ranked in the lower class are humble. They're either blunt or arrogant smart asses.

I try to talk ignored, even though I rarely get along with them, what is my fault?

speaking is rarely just a necessity but in ignored. Certainly influenced other friends or ilfil my attitude that often late to school.

They hated me, like I hated my father before, not wanting to see me. I got stuck because I knew it was karma. But I hate you for hurting your mother.

During my break I bought food.

Mella said "Renna you are not here well, not that I want to be upset, but siva does not like to see you, I am also confused, not obviously hate you, not obviously hate you, instead of him lashing me home from school on a bike, he's lazy to be near you and talk to you"

I smiled a little sad and ran away. Siva sees me as cynical and disgusted at me.

I heard Mella's voice yelling "Wine you are Siva, want to be kantin aja renna not obtained, who knows she wants to shop, this canteen is yours"

I tried to look curious, it turned out that Siva also saw me, as my view was disgusted.

"Ish. ish rich kid is not pantes in temenin, the way is too late" said Siva in disgust while away.

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When the 6th grade rises, there is a new student, his name is reysa. Nice to chat with but they are affected or washed away in her story she fabricates, that she is the son of a rich man. Maybe you want to admit that he can be friends, not in a stranger like me.

I realized that I was not a rich kid, not good at talking/mating, and just standard in school grades.

Obviously he was friends with a smart kid in class, I was trying to get close to reysa, he wanted to be friends with me, nice to talk to and even connect . But if he hangs out with others, I prefer to be alone because they no longer care about me.

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The longer, the more his talk ngawur friends rada less trust, reysa began to be kept away friends, he was in a stranger like me too.

Reysa started to approach me, I didn't have the prestige of being friends with anyone, I also needed friends.

During the break I had a friend chat, we were busy telling stories. I'm just a listener, told his problem guy, I don't know the guy.

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Friends approached me, want to find out the lie reysa, who knows get the info from me. Let's talk in class. Risa and the others were sitting near me in the school yard.

"Ren you know not reysa, have ortu in our village??"

said risa, the class champion was once close friends with Reysa.

" I went to his house anyway, his ortu wealth, he called mama, but I was just outside not invited into the house" I replied.

" Sure that's his mother, what's his physical feature? "

" rich reysa skinny high, when his mother came out calling reysa, reysa instead waved to his mother hastily riding a bike with me"

"You're not her mother"

" Gak ah, what's the name, I heard he called mama, why the hell? "

" You know not ren, he often lies, he feels the son of a rich man, halu is ren, his mother was just in the say maid, reysa said his ort work out of town, he said, the rich work of the office is so, the time of the school office child here, where the house is far away again" said Risa furious with reysa.

They bluff the reysa outright.

Only Risa dared to speak, the others were silent.

" Reysa, you said that the mother in your house was a maid, it was your mama, yes, there are so many lies you tell about you"

Reysa was crying, motionless from her seat.

I wanted to get close to reysa, so I felt guilty, so I expressed an intention to get closer, afraid she was angry that I told them.

It turns out that Reysa did not know, he went home from school he was good at chatting, he was moody in class.

The next day, Reysa cried again she upset me.

" You tell them I like to lie, you know what? "

while crying, Reysa pointed at my face.

"I'm talking about what is in asked risa rey" I said

" Why the others know, I was attacked by them" said Reysa

" I'm the one who told you about ren, you don't mess with renna yah rey, dealing with me. Let everyone know your rottenness likes to lie" replied Mella.

I smiled a little to reysa, he was bluffing me.

Mella again, Mella again the big mouth, his eyes Kaka level, but did not go to class, respected by other friends no one dared to fight her, no one, mella looks like a thug but she's super happy to hang out with anyone.

Reysa went to her desk moody all day in class not coming near me, I did not dare to approach her, wanted to try to persuade shame with other friends.