Behind the Beautiful Smile

Disgusted son?

My problem begins, the memory of the toddler, remember the incident well, but if the mother brings up, I pretend to forget.

Don't want me to keep thinking about the problem that passed.

Remember my words that are not worthy of imitation by children.

"I hate that you want to kill me, you're ugly "talk me like a fidelity.

"Because you can't be that dear, without your father not being present in this world, you are a daughter, you need a father when you want to get married" said the mother

"I don't want to get married, I don't need a bad dad, just get out of this house, you're always hurt in anger"

I said plainly I was 8 years old.

"Because you spoiled him, so here it is.

You want to be a bad boy" said the angry father 

"Already well, later we bring him to habib, so that he can be enlightened, who knows Rena possessed by demons" said the mother.

" You should educate him well, don't pamper him too much. To habib again we again need trouble habib pay funds" said father.

" You want your son to keep this up, hate you, see he's as rich as he isn't" she cried.

" I don't like you to hate and hate, you go off the face of the earth, you always get mad at you, you always blame you" I'm out there playing sand alone.

While I was imagining the past of cheating on my father, I used it for my alibi to meet his infidelity. I was still innocently wanted to be invited by my father.

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Since childhood, when a toddler is often invited by the father to take a walk to his friend's place.

Little children must be happy the name of the streets with a motorbike. The friend is cheating on me, but not yet understand small, consider it a friend of my father.

Mom was jaya, when I was a child I was considered a child full of fun because of cuteness. People around me are happy and entertained. She is surrounded by many assistants and family.

Doll toys lined up neatly and a lot. The guest room.

Ortu jaya period in just a matter of years, when Kindergarten I felt the disaster happened in my complex, thousands of homes were charred in the fire to the shop ahead. Including my house.

I still had time to pack things, because the fire was still far away. The noise was heard someone say.

" All must be hit, quickly pack your valuable items, because this is an irresponsible person who wants to destroy this complex in order to be made a tour" shouted from residents I do not recognize.

Info from where do not know also, I still pack my own goods, namely the favorite toy of a walking robot that just bought.

I was told to go up or out of the complex first, I love the direction to follow people who want to save themselves, if I can cross the road following them because so dense they panic out.

I too, Ortu busy packing stuff. I believe I can walk up alone.

Thank God I understood, but I cried waiting for my mother to pack things for a long time.

The passerby ignored my cries.

Before long she looked for me, trying to scream as loud as possible so that she could hear, not far from her mother looking.

My mother took me to the investigation site.

Kaka is still in school.

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Before I was born, my mother had a hard time, a job she didn't have.

Father is still idle, relying only on in-laws.

After the first Kaka was born, the mother decided to go home to work and ask for help Kaka rena taken care of by her mother and sister. It's uncomfortable to stay with in-laws. They are the family of the father, indeed people are, but the father is unemployed or sometimes odd jobs.

Dad's still in town, that's where the father becomes - so the affair alternates couples.

After my birth, my mother had savings from working in the village selling cut chickens and slaughtering live chickens. In the past even though there was no diploma, it was good to find work from home especially living in a village.

The more advanced the times the harder it is to find work. Capital to city open business from savings to open food stalls.

From there the mother increasingly abundant sustenance rich in flowing water.

You can buy a house, a motorbike, and pay for an assistant.

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When I was growing up as a child, remember very well father made out with cheating han in the woman's boarding.

I sat pensively in front of the door of the woman's room, wanting to get out but not allowed by my father.

Because before I talk to my mom, I play sand outside alone.

Dad was just like his friend. I still plainly talk to my mother.

"Your son left it alone and outside, said Rena you are engrossed in the house with your friend closed door you say to your friend"

Gertak mom keayah.

" His name is a little boy playing in the sand, yes just don't say open the door" father excuses by lying.

" Don't Cheat on you?" Maternal

" It was Rena's friend" said the father

" Iyaaaaaaa" Rena is still innocent.

" Rena you don't want to go there again, later you are kidnapped by people, be careful playing alone" said the mother.

" I want to walk2 mamah, want to play2 and have friends" I replied with a small cry

" Rena you play with mom, same aunt ( Assistant mom)" said mother.

" I don't want to go for a walk"

I am a 5 year old toddler

Mom was busy taking care of the food stall, so where could take a walk. Mom thought money and money for us and monitored the assistant's salary helping out at the stall.

Relying on my father is just odd labor for his personal pleasure.

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When I came home from the nursery, my mother began to get more suspicious, wanting to ask me again.

"Let's tell mom" I said

"So Rena and dad, what are you doing? " Tell mom

" I'm in my dad's friend's house, playing with my dad and him" I replied

"What's Rena doing?" ask mom

"Huggle Mom, I want to come but I'm embarrassed" I said

"What Rena???, we'll go to her house tomorrow" said the mother

Tomorrow, mom and I go to that cheap lady's house early in the morning. He's with his boy friend.

Mother angry is still natural. Not making a fuss, just reprimanding the woman not to be close to the father anymore, the mother threatened her to report to her husband. Turns out I knew she had a husband, I knew her.

I cried, thinking that my mother was angry with a cheap woman for threatening me.

Mother in the street crying, tears can not be dammed. I wanted to ask but I was afraid that she would cry and get angry, and feel what happened to her.

But I am the same as other children, easy to cry easily happy. But still remember the dimemory, the incident until I grew up.

Dad had one missing affair like growing a thousand, looking again to satisfy his cravings.

I know it all, I'm tired of reprimanding you.

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Mom has a new assistant, she turns out to be an ex-girl of the night. I don't know why I wasn't worried about that woman.

Mother easily kasian with other people, so mother accepted a job to help in the house and also close to me.

I am happy with the new assistant mother, it turns out smart take the hearts of children, I pamper him.

My mother helped me to work.

Mother is busy working, the mind of the father's mother cannot be tempted by the woman because ordinary facial skin is not so charming. 

But I don't know the tricks of an ******, even though they're not charming but they're teasers. Before her cheating han dad was pretty charming.

When I went to Kindergarten school, he wanted to take me, it was just an alibi to meet my father. I went to school and he came home.

Mom caught them making love at home.

I chased them both with a machete, they ran fast. I couldn't chase her out of the house because of embarrassment.

I saw with my own eyes when I came home from school, home from school by myself when I came home quickly so it was a coincidence to see the tragedy.

Shouts me to mom, "mom don't get mad at her (new assistant), she's gone for sure don't want to see mom again"

Mom just shut up and let go of her machete to keep. I'm putting that intention.

"If there were no you, I would die or they would kill me, I would remember you, you would be without a mother" she cried.

I was crying hard.

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As my childhood grew up, I felt a sense of dislike for my father, because my father's past loved cheating, seeing my own father making love with ****** that, that's not it, if I understood at that time it might be like the mother was also angry and carrying a sharp weapon wanted to kill ******* that and the father. My daydreams are on the corner of the wall.

Every day the mother and father quarrel, there is only something discussed father easily angry.

Mom's easy to prise.

But they are still united, not saying goodbye or divorce.

I'm sensitive to hear my father scolding me and blaming my mother for not taking care of work and children. I want to say you're ugly and mean. But afraid of angry father.

I fought back and brought up my mistakes.

In time I so piled up emotions, heard the storm.

"I want you to go and die" I'm carrying a knife.

" Rena don't love, it's your father, later you quality, I don't want you to be an ungodly child, throw away the knife, dikisau it there is a nesting demon, later you become a follower of the devil" mother says

" I don't want you to be the same mother again" I said

I just shut up and shut up.

I speak like that.

Dad went out and smoked a cigarette.

Mother approached the father whispering, "as if someone possessed Rena well, very different from her"

" You are also too pamper him, what are you lacking in assertiveness, I want to be firm Ke he is still stubborn sometimes you defend him. Now we are not like the old days of quiet sales, you are a little firm not to follow his will" said the father

" I'm sure someone wants to attack our household, remember you a long time ago how many times we wanted a divorce but it always didn't" she recalled

How many times have I been invited to a doctor or a smart person, all nil.

I still hate my father, I don't want to look and always keep my distance, disgust.

Mom told other people, I just heard. Some want to destroy the mother and father household, because the family conflict father and mother's family want the order to separate.

The father's family sees the brave mother with the father and the mother's family to see the father cheating on the mother and the father is lazy to work utilizing the results of the mother's efforts for the pleasure of the father. They meddle with the mystique to separate Ortu.

While the father of the family is, maybe they think the father can get another decent woman according to them. Although father's work is uncertain.

Almost divorced, but I don't know why Ortu didn't get divorced. Maybe remember the same kids as kids.

I was suspected to be useful so that Ortu divorced, wanted to attack mother.

even the attack hit me.

Mother believes in others, that when I grow up I will not hate my father, this storm will soon pass.

Ortu decided to work abroad as a foreign worker, in addition to economic factors, because sales are quiet. There are other reasons as well.

In order to use this far from my body and also from my father's body.

I was sad that my mother left, I just wanted to be a father who went to be a foreign worker. But I want both fathers, I'm afraid the father turns away and is not responsible.

Like the song Ouh Buyung, mother's shadow, mother likes to play the music.