Arinda, First Love

A letter to Raka

The wind was strong enough to hit the face of Arin who was fixated on staring at the blue sea water in front of him. The orange sky accompanied the pensive him with a few things that troubled his mind.

After deciding to leave Jakarta and start a new life, he completely cut off contact with everyone. Including Raka and his two other friends, Andi and Herti.

But Arin took the time to say goodbye to Andi and Herti just before he was about to leave. He made a video call at the airport while still waiting for his plane.

They both insist they want to catch Arin to the airport but that is no longer possible because Arin called him half an hour before he boarded the plane.

Arin deliberately did so because he did not want to say goodbye directly to both. It can be made sure they will follow him even though they know they are working hours.

Arin finally decided to be honest about the problems he faced with Satria. He also explained that he went not to avoid Satria as he used to, but he wanted to find his identity.

He wants to heal himself and seek his own happiness. Andi and Herti finally understood that now what Arin needs is a new atmosphere and a new life.

They sincerely pray for Arin's healing, and hope that Arin will soon find what he is looking for. Andi and Herti also advised that if Arin might return to Jakarta or to Bogor his hometown, they wanted to meet.

Arin agreed to what was the request of his two friends. While for Raka, Arin chose to send a letter that Adrian gave immediately after he returned to take Arin and his parents from the airport.

"Eh, Adrian bang." greeted Raka kindly, and they shook hands.

"Hi, Raka how are you?" ask bang Adrian.

"Alhamdulillah bang, I'm good. But really big brother in Jakarta and can come here?" tanya Raka was still astonished.

"I deliberately came here after the airport." explained Adrian made Raka's heart a little anxious thinking of a possibility.

"Abang runs out between the mother's father and Arin to the airport." said Adrian answered Raka's curiosity who was so surprised to hear her.

Deg, man,

"Me.. did they go bang?" tanya Raka tried to control her shock.

"Yes, and it looks like it will be a long time." explained Adrian again making hope in Raka's heart immediately shattered.

"I won't be long, I came at my sister's request to give this to you" Adrian explained, handing over a plain white envelope.

"Thank you" said Raka politely.

Adrian was immediately said goodbye to return to Bogor, he could not long because his wife and child were waiting for him in the hospital lobby.

"You're a good man, I actually like you but the feeling can't be forced. Don't wait for my uncertain sister, you deserve someone better. And thank you for all your help to my sister during this time." said Adrian at length advising Raka while patting her shoulder before she actually left.

He slowly opened the unsealed envelope and took out its contents. His eyes he tried to focus on digesting every word written by the girl who had stolen his heart in that short time.

To : Raka

Hi Ka, how are you? I hope your news is good and healthy. I'm sorry if I've been trying to avoid you for a few days. Trust me, this is the best for us.

I don't know what to say thanks to you anymore. Because you've helped me so much, and changed my life over the last few months.

Raka, I know and understand about your feelings. But sorry, I can't return your feelings. For me, you are still precious and meaningful to me but as a friend, as someone I can count on they rely on in my predicament.

I hope that someday when I return, we can be friends as ever. And please forgive me too stupid for not being able to choose you and disappoint men as good as you.

This fool doesn't deserve a man as good as you. I hope that when I come back you will love someone better than this stupid girl.

Don't hate me, because the love that's firmly planted in my heart is not something I want to be present. I will meet you after I have my recovery, and can recognize my own identity.

Just as I will seek my own happiness, I hope so will you.

From your stupid best friend

Arinda

***

Raka also squeezed the strong paper that was in his grasp. What Arin did this time was something he didn't think he would do.

Although there were feelings of resentment and anger lingering in her heart, it made her claustrophobic and sick simultaneously. But Raka also realized, if what Arin did nothing wrong and what Arin said in the letter was 100℅ truth.

Raka tried to reconnect his love story that had even been shipwrecked before he could sail. But he also realized that he could not ask Arin to forget someone he loved just like that.

Despite all the problems that occur between the two of them, Raka knows that the two still love each other equally. And if he could be honest, he was very envious of Satria. Because after knowing everything, he is still the only person who is so loved by Arin.

It feels impossible, to compete with Satria considering the feeling that Arin planted in his heart has been imprinted for 10 years. It would be difficult for a new person, to enter between the two.

Raka also walked gontai towards his room with a feeling of heartbreak. He did not know if he could forget Arin. He opened his phone and saw a wallpaper of his photo with Arin which he took while they were traveling in Bogor.

Raka could only sigh heavily while smiling bitterly staring at the continuous photo. Pain, yes that is what it feels like to be heartbroken, Raka thought.