AmiKas
memory blindness
MEMORY BLINDNESS
I'm back
With millions of memories I have cherished
Until I put together a list of requests
When doing a berTO’a
But now I've been burrowing
You even have forgotten
Not just me
But, everything you are memory blind
Then I should again
Recovering
Your memory of me
About us I expected.
...
Rabbet
I felt like I was just living, who was the man wearing the white alma mater? Why put a weird device on my body? then most strangely, he stabbed a sharp object in my hand, you bastard! Just look if I see you again, he's the one I'm gonna stab that sharp object in.
I just threw away the thought of that freak earlier. There was one man\-man and two women who entered. One woman who seemed to be getting old embraced me so tightly, another woman who was young was quite beautiful and one man\man who seemed to have aged just as much as the woman who hugged me, it's like I've seen all three of them, but where? They who? And why don't I remember anything? It felt like my blood was flowing very profusely when I saw this old man and woman
“raka this ibu”
The old woman who hugged me brought her eyes together with mine, and she called me “Raka”.
“iya raka fhaisal, this is dad, it's mom, and this is seina”
Now the old man who spoke to me and called me is not just raka but “raka fhaisal”
“I don't know who you are, what is mom? And what is dad? One more thing, who's seina? I don't know raka either, raka fhaisal? I don't know who I am?”
This old woman hugged me again even she cried, the old man also approached only the woman who was said to be silent without motion and sound
“raka fhaisal is your name son, this is the mother who gave you into this world, father and mother are the intermediaries you are in this world”
I was quietly trying to look at what this man just explained
“father, mother?”
The two of them nodded while looking at me with sadness.
“forgive me, I don't remember anything, dad, mom”
Mom and Dad hugged me together and kissed me on my forehead. Actually what has happened is why it feels like I'm memory blind and in pain like this. Mom took off her hug and looked back at the young girl who said her name was seina
“oh yes son, that's seina, your friend from smp”
I looked into her eyes, why didn't I feel anything when I saw her like I didn't see my mom and dad. She smiled
“this breed I'm seina”
I just smiled, and nodded my head
“oh yes, seina”
Why it feels strange to say his name, it feels like the heart is telling a story to the brain that is blind to memory. He approached me, father, and mother, hugging my mother.
…
Amidst the AC wind that cooled my body. As if I was grieving and telling you about what had happened, I unfortunately did not know what had happened, my amygdala may be sick and tired of the memories I have stored to the point that it was exposed to a virus that blinded my vision of the universe that I went through until I was this big and was lying on a bed in the middle a sick room.
I'm here myself. Dad, mom, and seina came out, she said someone would come and she said special, I hope I remember so I don't have to think who it is, and where.
“Oh really confusing”.
…
Amis
I just called Sarah's mom when I, mom and dad got to the hospital. Mom and Dad were out while I was still in the car. I'm haunted by a shadow that hasn't happened yet and I made a\-created. I was afraid how it would be if Raka was really\blind of the memory of seven days yesterday, whereas tomorrow is the day that me and raka should present the results of my cooperation with her for the past seven days, could it be that I will be alone, then raka how?
“ami, come. we do’a together, taka da is impossible, and there is no dead end dear”
Mother's voice took away my mind. I saw the eyes of the mother who was very sure about the miracle of God for healing. I nodded my head and got out of the car by tightly grasping my mother's hand and following her from behind. But still I am haunted by a giant fear, a myriad of bad guilt to mom sarah and mister phaisal. I did not see my face to the universe, I felt ashamed that I had made the raka lying even from now on she would feel lonely about losing her memories including the memories of when I was with her yesterday. It was like seeing two faces that I recognized and one that I just saw earlier or when, I forgot. They came closer to me, mom, and dad.
“ayo ami, raka has been waiting since last”
I nodded, and Sarah walked straight to the new room. The girl with mother sarah and fhaisal approached me, she was different from me, she opened her aura and looked like an overseas girl. He smiled and stretched out his hand
“introduce me seina van dilla, I am a friend of raka from smp and I just went to Indonesia again after college in paris”
I smiled, hearing what he said when I didn't ask him. I assume he is indeed a raka friend without a single point coming out of the word friend earlier. I answered his hand
“oh seina, I amigea, you just call me ami, I am also a raka friend from yesterday I was a group with him”
Seina smiled and seemed happy to hear what I said last
“you just knew raka yesterday? But why is it so close? Until aunt sarah says there is a special guest to raka, it turns out you”
There was a resentment felt from the sound that was as low as blowing in my ear ears. Luckily the room was in plain sight, so I didn't have to answer the question.
We all entered the room, I pinned myself in the back, I wanted me to be the last one I saw, and I calmed my heart down so I could control myself. I also just found myself in his sight. Raka let out her shocked face, will Raka remember me? I know God has another surprise for me.
“aaaa! sick mom, dad, seina. Sick!, raka's head hurts, you're out! Get out of here! Mom!”
“you don't be sad ami, I believe this will not last long, you can certainly mengulihin raka memory, dear. But I beg you now don't first yes, maybe the memory of time with you is a memory that is difficult to forget so even rakapun difficult to remember for now. But I'm sure raka will remember again, and you should also be sure”
I quickly hugged sarah and sarah answered my arms with her gentle touch stroking my head which was held in a sky-drenched hijab wet with tears coming down from the clouds of my eyes.
“I remain grateful mom, raka is still there, however, and I thank you mom still open her hands for me, even though I am the”
“syuuuuttt”
Sarah's index finger had wiped away the words I was going to say, Sarah's mom probably already knew I was going to blame myself
“mom don't want you to blame yourself, nothing can be wronged. Our task now can only strive for healing raka, and only God can determine the healing of raka, because what?”
Sarah said very gently to calm me with the question I had to answer and secretly it was Sarah's message for me
“because we only need to fight for the healing of raka”
Sarah hugged me again. I answered her hug tighter than sarah's.
From then on the door had not been opened, my tribe wondered\won what was going on and what made the raka so painful when she saw it. I bit my index finger, when I was impatient and worried I always made my index finger the victim. It felt like someone was glancing at me from another direction, I also looked my head to the side, and it was true that both my eyes immediately collided with both eyes. His eyes asked a question that seemed important, and he was eager to convey it to me, what is this because of the\-gara raka, related to the seina speech before I arrived to the raka room, he said, about him who knew me, about the feeling his eyes told me, I saw him, yes, I saw him, and I will not let him.
…
Rabbet
My head seemed to be under a very painful burden after a girl who entered the last room with a cloth of gray\grey that covered her aura.
“aaaa! sick mom, dad, seina. Sick!, raka's head hurts, you're out! Get out of here! Mom!”
I complained of pain until the bolts next to me were thrown away with my hands, she cried, but what do you care about me? I didn't know him, even when I saw him my head felt an excruciating and unstoppable pain. I kicked him out, but he stayed where he stood, and finally my mother took him out of my sight while my father was busy calling the doctor to check on me because I was still complaining of pain.
I kept screaming in pain, and I was finally a little relieved to see the doctor was there and check on me
“apa raka rasa?”
The doctor immediately asked me what I felt and the device hanging from his neck touched my body
“my head hurts doc, I see shadows but I don't know what and it makes my head hurt dok”
The doctor just nodded his head and immediately asked the nurse beside him to fetch something, the nurse immediately ran out. I just held my head which still hurt. Finally the nurse came by carrying a place that I did not know but small and red
“now raka drink this first ya”
I nodded and immediately picked up something I should drink. Now I just look at the night sky, and I'm blindfolded.
…
Amis
The door opened, and the doctor looked ordinary not like it was hard to talk, I was very curious about who I felt immediately asked him before everything started
”how doc? What has happened with raka”
The doctor looked at me, and sighed
“raka is okay, just that I saw a shadow after seeing the last girl in the room. But now raka is sleeping because I have given medicine to calm and heal her pain”
I let out a sigh of relief. And the doctor immediately asked me to go to the other room. Everyone thanked the doctor by looking at each other.
I was thinking about what I was feeling, it turned out that tranquilizers and sleep can make him calm and not in pain because I was present in his view. I wish Raka was having a good dream and might meet me. His smile yesterday was recorded by my amygdala, and his heart-wrenching cry of pain was so clearly still recorded in my ear. I wanted to go inside just to make sure the raka was really\trodden asleep not in pain like that. I just stepped one foot into the door, Sarah's mom was holding me back
”later, mother please”
I felt the fear that you felt revealed from his eyes. If this is the case, what can I force. I nodded and returned one of my legs to its original position, released the adorable hand of sarah's mother and looked for the figure of the old man I needed now. I hugged my mother and father who stood side by side
“I want to go home mom, dad”
Mom and dad immediately nodded their heads and said goodbye to ma'am sarah, fhaisal sir, and seina.
“we've gone home first yes sarah, fhaisal, seina. We make sure do’a for raka” healing
Ms. sarah happily smiled and let. But I bowed my head not wanting to see how sad Ms. Sarah was with her profound phaisal sir. Just when I turned around to follow my father and mother, mister Fhaisal had already wiped my steps with his voice that I had just heard again
“ami, take it easy, raka will not go anywhere”
Spontaneously I put my eyes back together with a pair of phaisal sir eyes, his pair of eyes told him about his belief in the miracle of God that he had felt after twenty he lived life with only regret that almost took his life into a useless world trash to live because they cannot control the feelings of his life. I smiled revealing ‘iya’ by my two pairs of eyes trying to convince fhaisal sir. Until I finally turned my back and removed the two faces that I had considered my own parents, how could I not regard ma'am sarah and pak fhaisal as my own parents, if I did love raka, if I did love raka, it's definitely happening, I admit, and I think it's the wrong thing. As long as I don't overdo it, why don't I share my love?.
…
Amis
The universe tried to wake me up with the view from the car, but still the heart carried the mind somewhere, somewhere, maybe still in the hospital to make sure the raka who had to sleep forced because of me who made him sick. Even so, I realized my mother who had turned her body several times to be able to see me, she said, and the father who for the first time turned his eyes glanced at me from the chauffeur's glass and somehow a few times father did on this way home. Mother sighed, I spontaneously noticed mother, only the first time I heard mother exhale as the meaning of unexpressed fatigue.
“mother, mother why”
My mother caught my eyes immediately by replying with the question that asked me
“what is ami?”
Oh, really, what is this? It seems I misunderstood
“hehe, looks like I overdone ya bu?”
Mom laughed and dad laughed too, I think I'm a bit weird about this
“you are there, who says you are excessive, mother and father have already felt younger than you ami, nothing is excessive, just that you have not been able to accept and get used to”
Mother does have a thousand words that can melt my heart especially father, I do love literature since I did not hear the words of mother who disappeared since I was in Elementary School, and now come back again to accompany each and every step where I stop from stepping. I still love literature because I want to be like a mother who can melt the hearts of her child and husband. Then father?, the father who is willing to sacrifice the bitterness of the risk that he will receive from all the empty thought of curiosity and blind will misunderstanding. Father's words did little to amaze me, though, when all the sacrifices I thought an unnatural betrayal turned out to be an unconscious affection due to me who concluded without knowing what I concluded. Dad's beating
“you must know my son, a man knows where he deserves to be together, rest, and settle, now God wants to take a break first. Male father and father know how men who are falling into the heart of women”
I shut up, none of which I did to avenge Dad. I just bowed my head, and hoped to come home soon because this was already beyond my line of thought. A fed-up reasoning forces the heart to calm down and not get carried away, after all, tomorrow I have to get ready to go forward on stage if yesterday's task was chosen without raka.
Finally, the house had already opened its hands from a distance the eyes saw. I'll go straight to my room and lock myself in until I can calm down a little bit. In his own room, the imagination is controlled by the atmosphere, I imagine, what if tomorrow the work of me and raka are selected and welcome to represent the faculty of Indonesian literature and the faculty of psychology. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. I grabbed the device that was sitting on the table, I opened the gallery right all the footage of the incident is immortalized, the first picture I saw, I don't have to guess anymore, a painting of a device so beautiful when me and raka were under the light of twilight. This longing drew my hand to open the music gallery and play the Ed Sheren perfect song to accompany me on the road to sound.
