Akad Shackle

Recognition

Rahma bowed lethargicly, sitting on one of the chairs in the library room. The condition of the room seemed quiet because all students and teachers were carrying out teaching and learning activities. There is only one library attendant who stands bye at the front reception desk, allowing each visitor to fill the attendance list first before entering the room.

Rahma's teaching hours were completed at ten-thirty. He chose to go to the library before continuing the rest of the schedule. At eleven-thirty he had to fill in the activities of the children that were carried out every Friday.

When male students attend Friday prayers in the mosque, female students are required to attend special children's activities filled by different female speakers each week, and this Friday is Rahma's turn to be a speaker.

Reading and writing are things that never separated from Rahma, the two things seemed to be a healing medium for her. When you have free time at school, the library is the most comfortable place for you. Rahma could even easily change her uncomfortable mood back to normal after reading or writing.

But not for this time, he simply held and opened the book he had taken from one of the shelves lined up in the room without reading it. His mind was not focused during the teaching. Thirty minutes he was late to class after first giving assignments to his students.

This morning Rahma decided to meet Tama who asked her to come to her room she wanted to expel all the marketing in her heart why the head of the foundation called her in the morning when she should be in class to teach.

Rahma took a deep breath, there were tears that suddenly dripped as she recalled her conversation with Tama.

"Assalamu'alaikum" Rahma said a greeting after first knocking on the door of the room. There were only the two of them, some of the foundation staff on duty did not seem to have come because they were indeed working hours of the foundation office starting at eight.

"Wa'alaikumsalam, come in" Tama replied from the inside, he was raving a cup of coffee that he seemed to make himself.

"Sit down" he said again gently, there was no impression of subordinate superiors from his tone, Tama treated Rahma like a friend.

"Can I help you sir?" asked Rahma formally, although Tama looks so relaxed but Rahma still behaves professionally, she is in the office of the foundation where the owner of the school where she teaches is located. Of course, he has to show professionalism at work.

"*Can we talk as friends?" tama's question immediately made Rahma who lowered her gaze, turned to look at Tama.

For a moment they were also staring. Tama really enjoyed those moments, she stared into the netra of Rahma's eyes that these few months seemed to always be in her eye fertilizers. But unfortunately Rahma's consciousness returned faster, she immediately turned her gaze in the other direction*.

"Astaghfirullah, what the hell is this" Rahma murmured in her heart.

"Call me Tama" said Tama again, making Rahma turn her eyes back to the man.

"Maybe this isn't the right place to talk about the topic that I'm going to bring up today. I wanted to take you somewhere better but it looks like you will refuse" Tama said giving a prologue on the topic this time.

"Rahma, this may be the last time I come here and see you. After what I will tell you at this time I will leave" Tama spoke in a sad tone, the obvious gurat of sadness on her face making Rahma astonished as well as worried.

"Rahma, I know this is wrong and I know it's not worth telling you. Sometimes there is indeed a better sense if it remains buried in the heart and never spoken at all to maintain a lot of heart. I've been trying to do that, but I'm still not capable"

Tama paused her speech by breathing as much air as possible to fill her lungs that suddenly felt empty.

"Rahma, this time allow me to tell you the truth" Tama stared fixedly at Rahma's face whose direction was not on her even though they were facing. While Rahma still remained with her flat face, waiting for the continuation of Tama's speech, looking calm. Tama does not know if the heart of Rahma is beating very fast at this time.

"Since the beginning I saw you at this foundation two years ago, there's been an interest in my heart for you. I saw clearly how special Dad treated you when he never used to be. Until now, he still keeps the reason why it looks so respectful and appreciative of you"

"I tried to ignore what I was feeling at the time. Not wanting to jump to conclusions. In the past I made mistakes until I got caught up in the wrong feeling. I chose to hold it"

"Our meeting at the reunion made me even more convinced that I was indeed interested in you. Your innocent attitude makes me even more curious to know you more"

"After the reunion I had to go abroad because there was a corporate business that could not be represented. After that, I plan to propose to you. Give you a surprise by coming to your parents. But it turns out I'm even surprised by the news of your wedding"

"My world is collapsing, for the second time I am experiencing a heartbreaking event. I love but again unable to have" Tama further subdued her gaze powerless to resist something that made her eyes suddenly warm.

"Sometimes the pain and disappointment make me want to be angry, why does God seem to play with my life. If I don't deserve to have it, why does He keep the love in my heart for a woman I can't have"

"I know it's wrong to still keep this feeling in my heart for you. You already belong to someone else but I can't just eliminate him, I'm sorry Rahma I can't help myself" heard back in Tama's long breath, she occasionally stopped talking, she said, and breathe air to fill his lungs.

"Looking at you standing at the wedding with your husband at your sister's wedding really made my chest tight. If I could, I'd like to kidnap you and take you away right then and there. But I know it's just gonna make you hate me, and I don't want that"

"Rahma, I always try to find moments to be with you, even if it makes you afraid and worried. I'm sorry if I was too childish to take a chance in a narrowness to get close to you"

"Honestly ..I was even jealous when I found out that a student was giving you a gift. I don't want him to be able to admire you so much, being able to meet you almost every day. It gives you a lot of attention even for the little things. I'm really jealous of Rahma" Tama ended by taking the coffee she had brewed, she drank the coffee at once.

The atmosphere of silence, Rahma still bowed her head powerless if she had to look at the man in front of her. His heart beats faster, Rahma recognizes the charm of a Pratama Ardhan no doubt. His friends even openly praise and long for men like Tama, handsome, well-established and generous. It is undeniable that his heart was disturbed since the presence of Tama in the foundation. But Rahma always tried to brush it off, limiting herself from feeling that was not halal to have.

"After this I don't know what you're judging me for, but again I reiterate I just want to reveal what's really in my heart for you. If after this you hate me I'm not worried because after this I'll go far and not come back"

"Happy life with your husband, Rahma. Sorry if it's still too hard for me to erase your name from my heart"