Adolescence

Episode 53

...Undecided...

A journey of life when you try to forget every past that has happened but what you experience is when you see the figure of the person in front of your eyes turns out to be nothing but is a different person than you know.

I'm not an option, but I can't choose either. It's not fair to me, but it's crossed every line in my life. I'm trying to forget every single thing in my life, I can only try to forget every single problem in my life.

***

Not the story of Romeo and Juliet whose story is written and also filmed, nor about the famous Rama and Shinta. Not a rich man, just an ordinary man, not a writer but just someone who wants to express every feeling through the verse of words and also the ink scratches that I pour with my heart and feelings.

The sweetly written annual temple of my love story with him that sits in the courtyard of love together with my heart that is always ringing with the whispers of his love so sweet, so sweet, indefinitely revealed but I can't say. I'm just someone who adores him in the distance, I'm just someone who tries hard to stay loyal to him even if I'm just behind the distance, don't ask me how I feel if you can't move on from the past that haunts you because it's so unfair.

The splashing sound of the rain rushing from the drops to the sound of a loud, not enough one but thousands of puddles of water swept over my shoulders and drenched me, not enough one, I just fell silent while letting every puddle of rain and also the boisterous sound of the wind blow fiercely on my face. I'm a nobody, I'm not the director who made my documented life journey into a movie. Even in the crowd I was still alone and feeling lonely, like there was only a firefly accompanying me in the silence. I'm just me and not him, let me keep this feeling at a distance because maybe you're not for me and maybe this feeling will one day go away on its own.

Me, Ara and Fanya. The three of us like best friend forever everywhere always together, friendship is difficult there is a long way money must be faced. The long story of our story is different and each lives from a different family, some are from among the rich and some are from among simple families. There is no word to stop loving each other, it feels like you already know each other. We are met in this place whether God will also separate us, because if there is a meeting there must also be separation.

"Hi!" I said as I approached Raisa

"Hi too" he replied as he lowered his head

"Why you?" Much

"Hmm, nothing" he answered

From the beginning I knew Raisa she was indeed a sweet girl figure and also innocent and innocent, she was kind-hearted but indeed her nature was rather shy. It was him who caused me to feel very fond of being friends with him, he was approachable but if we made a mistake to him then he would slowly stay away from us.

"May I be acquaintances" I said as I extended my hand

"I.he may" he said as he extended his hand.

"I'm Keiziara Cynthia Bella call me Ara" I said with a smile

" I'm Bianca Raisa Andriana call me Raisa" she replied with a smile

I remembered about her inviting me to come closer, but the other time she moved away, whether I was too selfish if I only expected her while her love was not for me. I always looked at his face in the distance, I didn't really remember all those times but when he said that it felt like I was complaining and shaking but I realized he was nothing to me. If only he knew even in the distance I would always keep him in his solitude and sorrow. But if he remembers me then he will be back to his former figure but in the meantime I feel not too fond of his former nature.

For me life is always black and white, happiness will always be directly proportional to sadness. We're just waiting for the time to take turns, aren't we?

And so with silence.

Today feels crowded, maybe tomorrow we will dialogue again with solitude.

Although in the crowd I still feel lonely, somehow lonely I feel without someone who can accompany me in this solitude, it does not feel like I have gone further and further I walk alone. My egoist feels that if I just complain without trying, somehow my pen scratches to the point where the black ink that I write on white paper has run out, inexplicably, everything I write corresponds to the journey of life in which the crying heart tells of every journey of the soft heart, although the time spoke in a soft tone while accompanied by the piano which continued to sound with melodunya like a melody that struck the heart. The clock's needle kept ticking towards the infinite axis with a full turn I kept asking myself, today whether it will be better than the days before or it will even give me a flurry of money actually leads me to the fear of starting a change.

I only stopped for a moment, but that doesn't mean I curse myself for every mistake that ever happened to me.

"Why do Fanya and Rian look so close?" I asked in my mind

"Where are you going?" Ask Fanya while holding my hand

"Get aside ah, I'm going through!" Answer me while I go

At that time I saw Rian and Fanya were alone in class, then somehow my heart felt pain, and suddenly...

"That's why this is my book!" Fanya said as she ran after Rian who took her book

"Now ah!" Rian answered while running around in class

The class was not very crowded and the teacher had not arrived.

"Udah dong you know I mulu from earlier!" Fanya

"What the hell?" I asked in my mind

A journey of life when you try to forget every past that has happened but what you experience is when you see the figure of the person in front of your eyes turns out to be nothing but is a different person than you know.

I'm not an option, but I can't choose either. It's not fair to me, but it's crossed every line in my life. I'm trying to forget every single thing in my life, I can only try to forget every single problem in my life.

***