Adolescence

Episode 27's

...Love Can't Stop...

"This fire, how come...." Reveal me

"Clean it yourself!" He answered while giving me a tissue

"What the hell was this moment even messed up" I said while bragging myself

"Why you?" Ask

"No brother!" I answered while cleaning my face with a tissue

Then he laughed at me...

"Wkkwkkw..."

"Why the hell?" Ask me

"You're not funny" he replied

"Yes, I'm a clown in the open" I said, turning my face away

"You don't get angry" he said

He is so he always sees me but I also do not understand why he is so even so, with his attitude I always feel there is a figure who always takes care of me. He's considerate and he's also very kind to me and he's able to make me feel good about him.

***

A journey of life when you try to forget every past that has happened but what you experience is when you see the figure of the person in front of your eyes turns out to be nothing but is a different person than you know.

I'm not an option, but I can't choose either. It's not fair to me, but it's crossed every line in my life. I'm trying to forget every single thing in my life, I can only try to forget every single problem in my life.

Somehow slow another time changed, the second also spoke at the time, the heart is not able to be separated but we are also unable to choose.

" It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appeals you, rather than looking for love to love to a self love deficit.” — Eartha Kitt. 

(It's all about falling in love with yourself and sharing love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a lack of self-love.)

Never heard the story of Rangga and also Love, why this is like our love story. Why do you like to test me when I myself try to forget you, in my heart I sing hope one day you can see me back. I survived but I also did not know how, in life I can only try and pray even though sometimes hope is not in line with reality.

Two rounds of the sun he passed with the same man with a different taste, passionate love filled with longing that ended in disappointment and then backed away to give space. A second love that is twisted by fate due to misunderstanding but ends up privileging each other to cover all the wounds that ever existed.

I remembered about her inviting me to come closer, but the other time she moved away, whether I was too selfish if I only expected her while her love was not for me. I always looked at his face in the distance, I didn't really remember all those times but when he said that it felt like I was complaining and shaking but I realized he was nothing to me. If only he knew even in the distance I would always keep him in his solitude and sorrow. But if he remembers me then he will be back to his former figure but in the meantime I feel not too fond of his former nature.

The rain came down and the trees and leaves were pinned down while deciphering the time that made me feel haru and blue even so I was happy when the rain came down where I could feel different happiness, if only my mother were alive, I might not be like this.

Today I saw the old woman again sitting while waiting for the train to arrive at the end of the station, looking old but her beautiful face was covered with a hijab that was worn to add sweetness to her face. She was none other than my grandmother, that was how my father had done so easily he dumped me and now I was forced to move to Bandung, although I was upset but there was my grandmother who accompanied me.

In Jogja the weather is indeed different from Bandung I have to adjust, especially because I am susceptible to flu.

"No" I replied weakly

"You don't feel that way" my grandmother said

I actually did not have the heart of my grandmother, but I also did not want to bother her too much, especially because she lived alone. Grandma's house is very spacious plus there is a second floor and also the grandmother has several household assistants.

I can't speak, what can I talk about the sky just fell silent but I don't even hope when the time comes that maybe everything will change. Black is not white and this is also probably not because of him, who is he? Someone who is present in the silence of the night, someone who always disturbs my sleep. I just couldn't complain, nor could I speak. I only speak a thousand languages, maybe God knows what I feel but I can just shut up and try to cover it all up.

Seemed an old granny old she is not too old but she is said to still look beautiful despite her age is not young anymore, she is used to come and wait for her granddaughter near the train station.

"What is grandma doing here?" Ask

"Owh is waiting for his grandson" he replied to one of the railway station employees

So often I visited Bandung grandma so always waiting for my arrival near the train station, so that the train station employees know him.

I haven't been to my grandmother in Bandung for a long time, but it looks like this isn't just my visit but maybe I'll stay in Bandung and finish my school there.

"Grandma!" Call someone near one of the train cars, he is wearing a sweater suit and jeans that are paired with one of his favorite black sneakers.

Then his grandmother approached him, the road was not too dashing anymore because he was getting older.

"My grandchildren!" My grandmother replied from a distance as she approached me and then we embraced each other while removing the longing.

"You're getting bigger, and more handsome" he said

"Grandmother can do it" he replied

" Now I brought souvenirs from Jogja!" My speech

"We take it home and we eat it together" said I while giving souvenirs typical of Jogja which is my grandmother's favorite food.

My grandmother was actually a Jogja but since she got married she moved to Bandung because of her husband who is my grandfather she was transferred to Jogjakarta and started doing business in Bandung with her husband, but because my grandfather who is an Army General has now died, my grandmother lives alone, and then he continues all the furniture business owned by my late grandfather. But because grandma is old then the furniture business is now managed by my uncle, I sometimes play to Bandung but since my father married again I so rarely play to grandma's house.

"Sir, I miss my grandmother!" I said while hugging my grandmother

"Darling, grandma is also very upset with you!" He said while kissing me

"Where are you not playing, grandma is sad!" He said while letting out tears that fell right on his cheek

"Hmmm, the story is long!" I answered while wiping away the tears that suddenly dripped down my grandmother's cheeks

Let alone the clouds come crying to hear my story, inevitably I can only be silent and try to cover up everything that happens to me, he said, nothing else and not so he doesn't feel sad when he hears my story.

***