A Poem To Dila
A wall
Three months passed I heard from Bintang that another month Pancak Silat will participate in the tournament at GOR Padjajaran and Dila also participated in the tournament, right then after school on Friday’at I saw Dila who was getting ready to follow Pancak silat exckul, and I immediately approached Dila who was preparing to go to practice.
“Heavy training.” My words rubbed Dila's head. “I'll come in your match.”
Dila smile. “Still”
“You haven't come home yet? Though the others are on the way home too?”
I returned Dila's smile. “I was intentionally late home, so I could encourage you to exercise.”
“Thank you, I trained first yes.”
Dila continued his steps towards the field to join the extracurricular Pancak Silat. From a distance, I saw Dila was so familiar with Ridwan, my colleague who was also following the exercise. Ridwan is a person who has been close to Dila since the 10th grade, even they had joined hands during the August 17th anniversary event last year.
Ridwan is a bright and accomplished student, and he also became my best friend when I was in 11th grade. At first, I didn't pay much attention to Ridwan's presence because Dila once said that they were just ordinary friends. However, as time went on, I began to see the closeness that was established between Dila and Ridwan. In fact, when Dila finished practicing Pancak Silat, I saw Ridwan carrying Dila boncer on his bike. At that time, unfortunately, my bike was on strike and I was forced to push it alone. For some reason, when I saw Dila and Ridwan together, my confidence began to collapse. I started to blame myself for not daring to express my feelings to Dila when we were both at the beach first. Now, the wall between me and Dila began to be clearly visible, separating the hearts that used to be so close.
Every day, before entering the classroom, we, me and my friends, gather in the parking area. While chatting and waiting for other friends to come. However, at that time, things did not go as usual.
I saw Dila riding on the Ridwan bike, passing right in front of us. The two of them left for school together, and when Dila got off the bike, she immediately left the parking area. It seemed that Dila was unaware of my presence there.
After all my friends got together, we left the parking lot and walked towards the classroom. But, after seeing Dila leave with Ridwan, I began to feel no longer dare to say hello to Dila. I just walked into the classroom without staring or greeting Dila who was talking at the door. As I passed by Dila, I walked with my head bowed, and it seemed that Dila did not see me.
My sense of hope towards Dila began to fade. I was too hopeful that she would be mine, even though I never expressed my feelings. I realized that I was wrong for never expressing my feelings to her. Perhaps, he also felt tired of my attitude that did not dare to express my feelings of love to him.
The doorbell rang and for the second time Dila passed me and I was the first time to ignore it after 1 year, even though I always greeted him and tried to get close to him, but now even I ignored him when he gave me his smile, that warm and gentle smile.
After the first subjects finished the break bell rang Hendrik and others including me went to the cafeteria. Once in the cafeteria I ordered food as usual and my favorite drink.
Five people who used to sit with me, yes they are Dila, Bintang, ian, Desi and Windi they immediately ordered food at the cafeteria mother and then sat with me.
Ian came straight up to me and hit me on the shoulder who was drinking the new tea pull I wanted to shave. “Tumben you are already first when usually you are also the most nervous, and if you first you are usually the same Dila?”
I did not reply to Ian and just continued to enjoy my food which seemed to be running out soon.
Dila who was beside me took out a book that she had brought with her. “Eh Den you have finished PR Chemical?”
“Not yet si, most later I see have the Star.” He pointed towards the stars.
“Pala lu.” Said the Star sitting next to Windi.
I laugh. “Yet the future of the cave is in the hands of lu ege, and your grades are the pedestal of the school cave.”
“Bacot lu.”
Before long Ridwan suddenly came to my dining table carrying his food and wanted to join us in eating or maybe more precisely he wanted to eat with Dila.
“Eh can join eat here no?” said Ridwan asked us while carrying his food.
“Iya join aja please.” Desi's speech chimed in the words of Ridwan.
Then he sat down next to Dila and in front of me, somehow everything seemed awkward Ian and the Star who pretended to be busy with his phone, Desi who was secretly watching Ridwan while chatting with Windi and I who only ate my food that was soon running out.
But suddenly Dila started a conversation with Ridwan. “Eh Wan's. Have you completed PR Chemistry?”
Ridwan smiled towards Dila while stopping eating. “Udah really, why?”
“I don't know how nyari mol from volume?” Said Dila while opening the book that she had just stored on the dining table.
Ridwan also taught Dila to look for moles. “That's easy to know, you can find the mole by volume divided by 22.2 Liters and that the result must be mol.”
I who saw Dila who was amazed by the figure of Ridwan this pisses me off at that time, somehow the main character in this story began to be taken over by Ridwan.
“Oi... You should learn the same Ridwan let your brain be useful a little.” Say the stars to me while you tease me.
“Bacot lu.”
Dila and Ridwan were still talking to me who saw those who were familiar made my mood worse at that time. But Bintang and Ian are trying to melt the atmosphere so that I don't focus too much on Dila and Ridwan who are next to me.
“Most look you pass at least your brain plus-plus.”
“Remember lu.”
Dila who heard me speak rudely immediately stomped on my feet loudly, I know that Dila is still paying attention to my every word even though she is busy with her affairs quite happy with Dila's attention to me.
“Back the classy yuk brags again like Bel ni?” windi said inviting us all to go classy.
“Dila you are not in class?” Ask the Stars to Dila who is still working on her Pr.
“You guys first aja, I want to settle the first PR responsibility is also a little more, most later I'm the same Ridwan followed to his class.” Reply Dila while focusing on working on her Pr.
We returned to our respective classes even without Dila, sometimes I looked back, hoping that Dila would catch up to me and embrace my hand while saying. “Sorry yes, just now I made you jealous but all you have to remember, you are mine and only mine can be no other, and there will not even be anyone who can replace you.”
The star who saw me smiling after looking back immediately rebuked me. “Lu why smile to a psychopath?”
“Berisik lu.” I said as I walked away from the Stars and went first to class.
Once in class I immediately sat as usual in my chair while looking at the PR that Dila asked me. And yes, how many times do I want to read about it, I still don't understand a bit about it, shortly the entrance bell rang before the teacher entered Dila and Ridwan who was in the cafeteria had returned and entered the class together.
I who saw the two of them who were familiar made me very jealous, even though basically me and Dila had nothing to do but still, still, I don't want anyone else close to Dila unless I'm one.
And after that incident somehow with the passing of the day, Dila and Ridwan also became very familiar, I felt that Ridwan's presence on the side of Dila became the dividing wall between me and Dila. And it seems that Desi, Windi and Ian seem to be familiar with the presence of Ridwan who starts to join us every time we get together except for the Stars. The star does not try to get along with Ridwan either he appreciates my feelings or does have personal problems with Ridwan.
One month passed just as it was Sunday and the day on which the race of Pancak silat began, actually, I wanted to come to the event but my message was not to go to the bales by Dila who asked where the lomba was. Then there was not long a notification on my phone and I saw it turned out that the Star sent the location of the place where he and his fellow students competed and did not forget also he gave Dila's schedule to me that Dila would fight at two o'clock in the afternoon and he slipped the words.
“If you love Dila, you came here even if only briefly”
I also read the words of the Star without a second thought immediately get ready to go to the location of the match, but midway I got lost because I was riding the wrong public transport which made me have to turn quite far from where the Silat match started, which should have been me until one o'clock in the afternoon but because I turned around I just got there at exactly two in the afternoon. After I entered the Gor I saw Dila who was playing against her opponent, Dila looked wary of his opponent's attack but because Dila had a lot of points for the incoming attack Dila also won the match with three flags for Dila and one for his opponent.
The star who saw me coming and was watching the match Dila immediately approached me. “Dateng also lu?”
“Gua stray ege, abis money cave for the round trip angkot earlier.” I said while trying to borrow money from the Stars.
A star who knows my mode immediately pulls money out of his wallet. “Ah bastard you, tell me you want to pinjem money right?”
I laughed as I took the money that Star took out from inside his wallet. “Hahaha... Thanks.”
“Lu realized that lately Dila familiar with the Ridwan?”
“Iya cave is also aware, but since when did Dila deket same as Ridwan?”
“After the cave, Dila deket same Ridwan fit in exkul.” Say the Star while giving me a canned drink. “Gua was also surprised initially fitting Silat training, Dila same Ridwan actually deket and even every finished Silat cave training always saw Dila in the bonceng by Ridwan made in between home.”
Sipping the drink that the Star had given me and glanced at Dila who left the match area to return to the audience bench. “Turnback cave yes.”
“Oi... At least say congratulations to Dila then you can go!” Said the Star while throwing the can of used drink he drank into my head.
“Iya-iya cave samperin.” I said while holding my head and walking towards the stairs where the entrance of the arena where Dila will pass through the stairs.
Dila who saw my figure was shocked because I had been waiting for him on the stairs he was headed and Dila was immediately approaching me.
“Deni!” He said in a shocked tone as he climbed up the stairs and approached me. “I didn't think you'd come here?”
I smiled as I stretched out my hand to shake hands with Dila who was late in front of me. “Congratulations yes to his victory and also to his first champion.”
Dila smile. “Thanks yaudah dateng.”
I rubbed his head and smiled back. “Kan yesterday I promised you that I would come on the day of your game.”
Dila chuckled while holding my hand that was rubbing her head. “Hehe... Who are you here with?”
“I myself came here, I was not going to come here because I did not chat you to make a race where the race location but you did not bales. But luckily this morning the star sent me the location of the race yaudah I came aja”
“Sorry yes hp Dila abis battery and also Dila did not have time to open his phone from yesterday.” Said Dila felt guilty for not replying to my message.
“Udah no papa.”
“Yaudah Dila there first yes.”
While walking left me and went towards his silat group and of course there was also Ridwan who immediately greeted him warmly. After I congratulated Dila, I immediately left the place without telling the Star.
This is a hidden feeling, from me to you, the person I love and admire.
May you be sensitive. I love you, I love you. But I dare not reveal it. When I'm around you, I always try not to look like I love you. Because I'm scared.
If you find out, you will definitely stay away from me. Therefore, I love you in silence. And I, I prefer pain because it harbors a feeling. And be your secret admirer only. About the pain, I'm used to it. Even I have been through and experienced the most painful thing. Pretending to be happy. If I see you I like.
...****************...
Loving others.
