THE MAFIA'S PENANCE

THE HELL YOU CREATED

In a very sad situation, I took Sesya to a karaoke place one of my family's businesses. I feel a great sadness in my heart right now. I've always loved Alec for too long, I don't even know when I fell in love with him.

I sang with a drunken yell for drinking alcohol. I poured out my sadness by consuming the drink.

"Viv, stop doing this!!" Sesya cried out to me who was singing by shouting like a doormat. "I told you, you better forget about Alec."

Hearing Sesya's words made me scream even more as I sang. I couldn't possibly forget Alec so easily, rather I didn't want to forget him. She was my first and last love.

"I'm also sure Olivia wasn't the first woman to have sex with him. You're too naive Viv, he must've made love to a lot of women. That's not surprising. His face is handsome and he's a competent young lawyer, if he wants me to try to make love to him too." Sesya said very easily.

I fell limp in the face down onto the sofa hearing Sesya's words which were very likely to happen to Alec. A man like Alec will definitely find it easy to get a woman who wants to make love to him.

"I told you a long time ago. If you like him you can tease him for a long time. But you're too sure that you're going to get married eventually. To the extent that you reject all the men who approach you. You even just want to fuck Alec. You're a real fool, Viv."

My body is not powered at the moment. My head also felt very painful. I've been screaming for almost three hours singing like crazy. The influence of alcohol also made me unable to think much. I just mumbled that I didn't clearly say a lot of things by crying every now and then with tears.

"You okay, Viv?" Tanya Sesya approached me who was still face down on the sofa.

"I'm always okay." I answered with half consciousness.

"You're really drunk." Sesya. "It's also late, you better go home."

"I don't want to go home. I don't want to go back to that house. I don't want to see that guy. I don't want to see that girl either... That'll make me..." I stopped my words with a cry.

"Geez, Viv, stop being sad. Listen to my words yesterday. Forget Alec, and start loving Vernon. He's not bad either, proof up until now he hasn't done anything to you. If he's an asshole, already after marriage he's forced you to fuck him, or even he'll do it before you get married that time. But he still listens to everything you say, right?"

"He's not that good." I muttered softly.

"What do you mean?" I could feel a sense of annoyance emanating from Sesya's current tone of voice. "He forced you to kiss? You guys are married. He could do that. You're the bad one, Viv. Yeah, you and Alec are so bad. You let Alec kiss you while you were married, Alec is just as bad. He kissed you knowing you were married and he was getting married. Alec is the worst."

I woke up upset that Sesya's words sounded so evil to Alec. Even though Sesya was my best friend, still I could not accept that she was bullying Alec in front of me.

"Shut up!! Don't say that bad about Alec!! He is an angel!!" I cried with anger at Sesya.

My frustration led me to drink alcohol straight from the bottle. I chugged it until it was gone. Then immediately lay on the sofa with a swirling view. I'm getting drunk.

"I'd better call Arthur so you stop drinking and take you home." Sesya. "Ahh, I forgot you're married."

For a moment I enjoyed myself which was like hovering at the moment. I can't think of anything anymore because the drunkenness has taken hold of me now.

Just lying on the couch occasionally laughing at myself for thinking about my current condition was so embarrassing. I must be crazy by now.

"You're so pathetic, Viv." Sesya.

I opened my eyes when I felt myself really floating. At first I thought I was already floating to heaven, but it turned out that someone raised me with both hands. I stared at the man who was holding me but the blinding light made my eyes unable to see who it was.

I must have called Arthur. Yes, Sesya always calls Arthur whenever I'm unconscious from drunkenness. Right now Arthur must be carrying me as usual.

"Art, you're so stupid!! Why did you let me marry a man like that?" I was rummaging in a sling. "I want to marry the man I love. I want to fuck him too. No, I don't want to do it anymore. I can't do that with him anymore. I don't want to." I started crying and buried my face into the chest of the man who was carrying me.

It was not long before I felt my body lying on a comfortable bed. I opened my eyes and saw that I was in the hotel room in the building where Sesya and I were karaoke. Usually if Arthur doesn't pick me up, and Sesya gets drunk like me, we stay at the hotel.

"Why don't you take me home, Art? I miss my room." I muttered to someone who just dropped me off.

"Sleep here, I won't take you home drunk like this. Both my parents are at home."

I rubbed my eyes when it wasn't Arthur's voice I heard. The voice of my husband whom I do not love. Vernon stood looking at me with a face that looked annoyed looking at me. Seeing her upset made me laugh in my drunkenness.

"Vern, you said you'd make me live like hell? I look forward to. I want to live like hell. Because right now I feel like my life is a lot worse than hell."

I continued to fumble while trying to get up but my body wavered until I lost balance. Vernon gripped me and I gave him a stupid smile.

"Sleep here. You look so fucked up."

Being drunk and unable to think I hugged Vernon with a small laugh. I really can't think clearly because of the sadness mixed with my current hangover.

"Take me off. I don't like to play around with drunk women." Vernon held my hand to take off his embrace.

Hearing him made me laugh once more by trying to open my eyes that felt so heavy staring at Vernon.

"Sesya said I should love you, and make you love me. I think he's right." My speech.

Vernon took his hold off me. I could see how he seemed to not take my words seriously. But before she turned her body, I pulled her nape to kiss her.

"How dare you challenge me." Vernon exclaimed with an annoyed look at me. "I won't stop it again—"

I kissed Vernon again. I'm just following what's on my mind right now. Seeing Alec kiss and make love to Olivia broke my heart. I will also ruin my life by giving myself to Vernon, my husband.

Vernon took me up to bed with a kiss on my lips. I enjoyed it too. I'm resigned now. I won't stop him from touching me.

"Don't try to stop me..."

"Not going to." My answer is in Vernon's confinement. "I will live in the hell you created for me."