So My First Two-Wife Love

Lost the old you

My guilt for Ruby allowed me to stay quiet all the way home.

"Loe really doesn't hurt anymore?"

I just glanced lazily at the windshield of the car showing the reflections of Gibran's eyes fixed on me who was sitting in the back seat as usual on the way home.

"Jasmine ..." call Gibran again who sounds worried.

"Jasmine is just giddy again, sis." said Ruby who answered the question I should have answered but she spoke faster, as fast as her hand that easily touched Gibran's shoulder.

"Why dizziness?" asked Gibran again, this time he stopped the speed of his car only to look back at me.

His attitude made a smile reappear on my face, this is the Gibran I have known all along, Gibran who moment behind disappeared, Gibran who cares about me the most from anyone.

"A ..."

"Scholarship exam preparation, sis .. isn't it, Jasmine?"

Once again Ruby sneered, she answered a question she shouldn't have answered but I was too lazy to say anything other than a reluctant smile.

"I think I'm down here anyway, because there's something I want to buy" said I who immediately took my bag and got off Gibran's car without hearing his opinion first.

I'm sick!

I felt Ruby not only distracted Gibran but also deliberately snatched him away from me. It felt like he was manipulating Gibran from me.

"Jasmine!"

I was so shocked when someone pulled my body along with the car speeding in front of me.

Instantly I felt surprised because I almost seemed to be hit by a car because my mind was so messed up that I did not pay attention around me if I was on the highway.

"Loe's crazy, huh?" that voice instantly awakened me from my shock.

Gibran's face was already flushed red, he was holding my body tightly as if he would not let go of me.

"If you want to die, don't be in front of me!" he said again, my heart hurts. Why must such harsh words come from her mouth that I never dared to touch because it was so beautiful. Instead of asking me about my condition, he prefers to rebuke me.

Without feeling, my tears are dripping. I just walked past the corner of my eye without ever agreeing.

"Sorry, I won't show up in front of you!"

I immediately pushed Gibran's body and ran away leaving him.

"Jasmine!" I heard Gibran calling me, but I couldn't look, I didn't want to look.

I'm afraid of misunderstanding again, I'm afraid that I think if Gibran regrets what he said to me when in fact he just wants to keep scolding me.

In the end I lost him, lost the Gibran I used to know.

***

Gibran did not see me immediately after the incident that afternoon and I also never again waited for him to pick me up. Ignoring Ruby who asked why I no longer went with them as if Ruby had been there since the beginning when there was only me and Gibran.

"Let's go home together, Gibran's brother is waiting. When you still have to go to the library even though you have studied all day, is it not saturated to see books?" persuade Ruby to take my hand so I can go home with her and Gibran.

There's a question that pops up in the corner of my heart every time Gibran comes to pick me up, does he want to pick me up or does he just come for Ruby?

It felt like the situation turned around easily, Ruby's attitude made Gibran seem to come to pick her up not for me.

"I'm sorry I can't."

"Geez, Jasmine! The school library serem know, if you want to study in the library outside aja, later I'm the same brother Gibran temenin."

And make me feel more removed?

"No need, there are others in the school library. There are some books only in the school library."

Ruby was seen sighing in annoyance, she let go of my hand and put on a pouting face.

"Yes, I've been waiting here for a while" Ruby said, puzzling me. "I want to tell Mr. Gibran to pick him up later if you're done from the library." continued Ruby while looking around for his phone in his bag.

"No need, you go home with Gibran. He's been waiting for this."

"Yes, it's also kasian if he told me to go home."

Ruby finally stopped forcing me to go home with her and Gibran, but I wasn't happy at all.

While walking together out of the classroom, I stepped with a feeling of unease especially as Ruby let go of my hand and walked away to Gibran.

I stopped and watched them chat for a while before Gibran finally opened the door for Ruby.

They are compatible, unfortunately my heart does not feel sincere to admit it. My heart grew bitter as both of my eyes and Gibran accidentally met.

He looks sad, though, but maybe I saw the wrong distance between us quite far away and I chose to continue my steps towards the library with some other students who had the same goal as me.

Act as if I didn't realize Gibran was looking at me.

Does he miss me like I miss him?

But he was the one who didn't want to see me die in front of him, I indirectly meant that I could die and get hurt anywhere as long as I wasn't with him, maybe he was afraid to bother him.

Not because he cared, but because he was afraid of being bothered.

***