So My First Two-Wife Love

Destroyed hope

"Why is this bad loe as bad as me, Jasmine?"

He said as if he had never hurt me. I looked at him but I did not come closer, I let him get wet from the rain that was pouring down.

"Why Jasmine? Loe do not know how panicked I was when loe suddenly disappeared, almost crazy I nyariin elo let alone hp loe also can not be connected!" Gibran continued to vent his anger, he scolded me as usual...

"When I went to that place let loe feel better but loe instead went that way, loe even more choose to go home the same guy you just know! What do you think, Loe? What if he's bad? What if he's a loe in the street? Think dong Jasmine! I'm half-dead of worry!" Gibran kept yelling at me, he scolded me without giving me a chance to talk.

As easy as he threw the blame at me, I finally stepped closer and let him stand under the same umbrella as me. I looked at him and he replied with a cold look.

I hope you are jealous, I hope you regret your constant disregard for me, I wish you much, Gibran...

I wish you would come back to me...

But then again, you broke that hope so easily...

It's as easy as you forget that I'm the most important part of your life...

"Don't let me alesan for your pleasure, Gibran..." My voice may have been slow but I managed to make Gibran's tears drop.

"Gue has suffered enough so please stop if you just pretend to care." I said before stepping away.

Trying to hold on, I'm still trying...

But I don't know until when I can hold it, if you keep moving away... So far out of my reach.

I stepped into my house, in the least I did not turn my head because I was afraid that my anger at him would subside as easily as this rain which slowly subsided leaving a muddy road and wet grass just like the wounds left on heart thereafter.

"Jasmine..." Mama Gibran came straight to me and looked at me deeply. His expression seemed to know what was happening to me and Gibran as well as to my father Gibran and grandmother, they wore the same expression. The injured expression.

"I want to take a break." Maybe this was the first time I had been cold to Mama Gibran, I even took her hand off my face and stepped into my room, locked it tightly and cried.

I cried sobbing but this time I didn't let them in, I didn't want to depend on anyone. Those who he said cared about me the most, those who openly kept my father's whereabouts a secret, those who left me as if I had never been close to him.

Those I consider to be my family, those I care about most, those who hurt me the most.

***

After that day my relationship with Gibran never went back to being good. She never came to my house again, she didn't even come to my school anymore and Ruby started coming back home and going to school with her driver.

As my relationship with Gibran deteriorated, my relationship with Ruby also deteriorated. She moved out of her seat and no one sat next to me after that.

The pain in my heart was growing every day, as a loyal loneliness accompanied me. Maybe they are my best friends now.

Several times my father tried to see me but I always refused, and was devastated afterwards.

The rainy season was almost over but the sadness in my heart never subsided, as if it had no end and I filled my time exhausting this soul by studying. Not just one but there are many scholarship programs that I am on including study abroad programs even though I am not sure I will be able to go, I was just turning my mind to the difficult thing that could make me forget my sadness even a little, just a little because after that the pain always came again.

"Jasmine..." I turned my head when I heard my grandmother's voice calling and I quickly closed the album book I had just seen because I missed Gibran and his family so much. Her parents always treated me like their daughter.

I miss them...

I miss my old life.

"Someone came looking for you..."

My footsteps stopped immediately when I saw Gibran coming along with his parents.

"Well, boy?" scold my grandmother. This awkwardness was too great to say hello I could not afford but even so I still stepped over to the parents of Gibran and kissed their hands.

I saw both of Gibran's parents smiling while holding back their tears. "Mama longs.." mama Gibran spoke in a voice that shook with the cry.

I didn't answer but I let her hug me very tightly while crying then though not for long as she let go straight away. I then stepped before Gibran's father, the man still had not spoken but he had cried first. "I'm sorry." he said, wiping his tears as he slightly raised his tears, then I could kiss his hands politely and gently I felt him rub the top of my head.

Just up to them, I no longer stepped closer to Gibran who still continued to look at me with an expression I could not understand.

My grandmother then invited them to dinner with us, Gibran and I sat next to each other but none of us spoke.

Like the cold war, we were both hard and unwilling to budge, which was what made the atmosphere of this dinner so awkward.

"Where do you want to go to college?" Papa Gibran begins the conversation.

"I got a scholarship." I replied a little hesitant to tell him.

"Oh yeah? So great of you!" Mama Gibran looks proud. "What university?"

"There are two, one in one abroad."

"What country is it abroad?" gibran finally made a sound after being silent before.

"London.." I replied slowly.

"That's far, that's where you'll be alone, who'll take care of you?" Gibran spoke again, his tone sounding cold.

"Gue can take care of himself."

"With your careless attitude, I'm not sure the people around you will hold it."

"Gibrans!" Papa Gibran growled at her warning who spoke without thinking about my feelings.

"Gue will?" My voice was stifled by the urge of tightness that had appeared in my heart.

"Loe can always go without guilt..."

Gibran still did not feel guilty for his attitude at that time, he instead discussed it here, in front of my grandmother and her parents and his words made me look bad. He never really thought of me.

"There's no point in me staying there when you're both cool with Ruby" I said, which immediately made Gibran who had been talking without seeing me finally look at me.

"Jasmine..." Gibran's voice sounded restrained, he looked very angry at me.

"Udah don't fight in front of the food." said my grandmother broke up before I answered Gibran. "Jasmine's been sensitive lately, please Gibran understand."

"I'm done.." I can't stand this situation anymore even my grandmother is more on Gibran's side when my grandmother knew from the beginning if Gibran always ignored me once there was Ruby.

I then got up from stepping off the dining table.

"You're married..."

***