So My First Two-Wife Love

Vibration's different

"Jasmine, what if I fall in love with Ruby..."

The deg! He hit it hard, my heart broke afterwards.

I had felt it from the beginning, a different vibration that Gibran showed Ruby but the pain was this severe?

It is almost like dying...

I have trouble breathing, my chest is tight, it hurts...

It hurts, it hurts...

I didn't know a broken heart would feel this bad.

This heart seems to be about to die, or it may be dead by now...

The wind that blew felt cold, cloudy coming again...

I made a drizzle as an excuse to escape this situation, stepping away from Gibran who was still sitting there alone.

...

I locked myself in the room afterwards and hid in the bathroom and cried.

My cry could not stand me, this tightness did not go away even though so many tears were dripping. While banging my chest that was painful, I wanted to release this pain.

The pain that came so hard to destroy me.

Of them, the two men I have loved the most in my life, they destroyed me...

My father and my first love...

So cold, they threw me away!

I cried and cried and laughed like a lost girl but the pain did not go away.

The disappointment was too big, too strong, too painful and I couldn't bear it.

My body sank limp, sitting leaning against the bathroom door and crying desperately.

If I knew a broken heart would be this scary then I would never want to love, I would not fall in love, I would not accept his kindness.

I'd better never get to know her, so this pain won't be mine.

Why is not happiness mine?

Why aren't you mine?

Gibran, why am I not the one you love?

Wh why?

"Why isn't it me you want to have?"

***

I'm heartbroken, my heart is broken but this cruel life goes on. I kept meeting him, I kept being in this suffocating situation.

Sitting next to Gibran in his car because today was my graduation day while my grandmother was in Gibran's car who was also going to attend my graduation.

It's been a few weeks since Gibran said that if he fell in love with Ruby, we've stopped talking to each other ever since.

This close trip felt so long, it was probably slow moving because I was waiting for us to arrive sooner so I could get back away from Gibran.

Amidst the silence trapping us, the sound of Gibran's cell phone ringing could be heard breaking the silence. Gibran then looked for a moment at the screen of his phone and I seemed to know who contacted him until I chose to cover my earphones.

Gibran glanced at me for a moment before picking up the phone.

"Hello..." Gibran's voice was soft, my heart grimaced again, that soft voice was never shown to me when he was with me all his life.

"Yes, I'm arriving again."

It's increasingly clear if the one who contacted Gibran was Ruby.

I wanted to cry, but I tried to keep myself occupied by playing my phone, looking for someone I could call but only Gibran's number, his parents and my grandmother and Ruby. My contact wasn't much, I was getting more aware probably because my life was just circling around them, she said, that's why I'm so hurt right now but my thumb stopped pulling that little row of contacts when I found Juna's saved number.

Unlike my promise, I never contacted him. I then glanced at Gibran who was still busy talking to Ruby over his phone.

I just wanted to run away, diverting the tightness inside my chest so I sent the 'hi' emoticon to Juna and did not wait long for Juna to contact me immediately. Not just a phone call, but a video call.

Gibran was still calling, I didn't want to listen to them talking so as soon as Gibran turned to me as if he was distracted by the ringing of my phone then I picked him up.

"Why?" I asked awkwardly, this is indeed the first time for me to decorate myself especially now I wear sky blue kebaya and my hair is also arranged.

"I think I was wrong about the angel who answered." said Juna who did not hesitate to seduce me, he made me smile but Gibran instead gave me a cynical look.

"Finally you called me, so how? Can I be your neighbor?" juna was a little joking. She always managed to make my awkwardness towards her disappear.

"Yes, I think someone might want to sell his house" I replied, glancing at Gibran, who had just turned off his phone.

"Well, when? Tell her to move in immediately, you know I'm getting impatient to be your neighbor so you can come cook at my place when I'm hungry."

"Oh my God, you think I'm a housekeeper?"

"Jasmine, no one is better than a neighbor like you who would go shopping alone for a dinner held by your neighbor."

It's a fun, satirical conversation that Gibran blatantly insinuates in front of his face. He should know if he's been treating me wrong.

"Huhah, or should I be the one who moved to be your neighbor?" ask me to laugh slowly.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea!" his words excitedly coincided with the arrival of me in the school parking lot.

"I know." I answered while trying to unbuckle my seatbelt but as usual I was always in trouble.

"So why are you dressing up so beautiful?" juna asked who turned my attention.

"It's my graduation day."

"Oh seriously?"

"Yes, I'll be a student after this."

"So which university?"

"I don't know if I'm still confused, but I intend to take my scholarship offer in London."

"Hey, I think we're a soul mate?" Juna's sudden exclaim made Gibran glare at me, he tried to get closer and look at my phone but I held him back.

"Stupid?" ask me a little too often because Gibran keeps trying to peek.

"Guess where I am?"

"Where?"

Juna then shows the background where he is located which shows a magnificent view of the university castle.

"Oh, that place." I was surprised to barely believe it and Juna showed the same reaction. "Don't tell me you got a scholarship here?"

"Yes!"

"Damn! It's good we can meet every day then. I'm taking my S2 here right now."

"Don't you nag?!"

"I'm in this place, how am I not making a shit out of it?"

"But that time..."

"I'm just on vacation, to be honest, if you call me right away when we switch phones then maybe I won't take this program."

"Hey, don't try to seduce me!"

"Good Jasmine is beautiful, I no longer woo... But seriously, call me when you get here."

"OKs... I think I'm almost late. It's late there, rest..."

"Ok, call me whenever you want."

"OK..."

Finally the phone call ended, Juna gave me a little breathing space at least until I realized how horrible the gaze that Gibran was giving me now was.

"So you've got a plan there?"

"Yes?"

I immediately held my breath as Gibran moved closer and helped me unlock my seatbelt. The belt was already open but Gibran was still in that position, with his body leaning towards me, our faces were so close that the roar of his breath felt warm to my face just that the look in his eyes really made me not wart.

"Loe's got a plan for deket with the other guys over there?"

***