So My First Two-Wife Love

Numbness

>>> Jasmine POV <<<

My head was throbbing, probably because I barely slept since last night and I still hadn't eaten anything but how could I have eaten if there had been no sign of Aurora waking up despite her stable condition.

My grandmother came home a few hours ago as did Gibran's parents and now it's just me and Aurora, just like our days before.

I took a deep breath, remembering how my father wanted to bring Aurora to scare me even though I had made up my mind to divorce Gibran.

To be honest I was so scared, I was afraid of losing Aurora if I divorced Gibran but I was no longer able to maintain our marriage which was never okay in the first place.

On the first day I entered the house, the day I fought with Gibran again, I should have realized that this marriage would not work but foolishly I kept hoping, I hope that Gibran will one day change and accept me and Aurora to make me dream if every night Gibran comes and sleep while holding me.

How desperate I am, how sad I am...

Maintaining this feeling and hoping to be avenged, I now meet again with the pain that makes me numb.

I wish I could be completely numb, so I wouldn't have to falter if Gibran begged while kneeling like that.

Seeing him apologize to me while crying as if he was really sorry by mentioning the word love as if he had ever loved me even makes me almost believe if the love was there until this moment, he said, but Gibran always did...

He always makes me soar high and hurls me abominably.

The sound of the door opening made me instantly wipe away my tears. Gibran looked so carefully stepping over to me with something in his hand.

"I bought some fried rice, you ate ya..."

"..."

"Jasmine, don't get sick... If you get sick Aurora will be sad."

"..."

"Darling..."

I couldn't stand it anymore, as if ignoring my anger, as if my anger was meaningless. Gibran kept acting like the pain he gave me wasn't a big deal.

The affectionate call did not touch my heart at all, considering that he called Ruby while being with me made me feel that the call of affection was just an inducement, just an excuse that he will not repeat the same mistake again and this foolish me will take it back, but thank you for the excessive pain that hit me because now I can think a little right not to be lulled away.

"I'm bribing ya..." He said softly once again, I then smiled. There was a glimmer of hope implied on his originally desperate face.

"Did I look so stupid in your eyes?"

Gibran was stunned to hear my question. He put the fried rice in his hand on the table and touched my hand. Until this second he still hasn't given up on persuading me, "i'm the fool, Jasmine... I was the one who was stupid all along."

"Jasmine, last night I had a dream to meet Ruby not because I saw her in you... I always looked at you as my Jasmine, never once did I consider you to be Ruby's successor. Please believe me this time... I really want to fix our relationship."

"For six months you ignored me as your wife even before I left the country five years ago, Gibran..." I began to get emotional, with a trembling voice I again said even though my tears were finally dripping. "Even when you got to know Ruby, you ignored me, Gibran.." Now I'm really crying.

"And you want me to believe in your alibi that I can't be sure of? Thats enough... I have reached the limit I understand you with the attitude of you who have always treated me like I do not exist, with you who always look at my anger easily, with you who constantly hurt me. I'm done with you, Gibran! It's over, I'm telling you... I've ended it."

Now not only am I crying but Gibran is crying too. He lowered his head, his broad shoulders were trembling, I chose to pull my hand and move away before I was affected by this stupid feeling.

I felt Gibran hugging me from behind, his crying made my shoulders wet, his pain was not comparable to what I had felt all along because of it.

"I love you, jasmine... I've always loved you. Please give me one last chance. A chance to express my feelings to you. I promise, if I hurt you one more time then without needing to ask I'll disappear!"

I laughed again, as if I was going crazy soon. I then let go of Gibran's embrace and turned to look at him. "Give me the possibility of you hurting me again? Gibran, the more you plead the more I want to hurt you."

"I will accept, no matter how much pain you give me, I will accept it!" Gibran seemed excited when he answered him.

I then wiped my tears that were still dripping, then took one step closer. "Including if I go back to Brother Juna?"

Gibran's tears escaped from his eyes right after hearing it, he seemed to be in disbelief at what I had just said.

"Like you're married to Ruby, don't you also have to know what it's like to see your loved one marry someone else?" I said as I pointed at Gibran's chest, urging him and making him more and more silent.

"What kind of love are you talking to me about when you dumped me in the first place, Gibran? Throwing me into the abyss of pain that was almost like hell!"

"I'm sorry... Sorry..."

"I still pray all along that you never feel the pain I feel because of you, but love that has met with disappointment is like a broken glass, no matter how much you fill it, it can never be full again, Gibran. My prayers for you may no longer be the same."

***