Second Road

Episode 40: Hand-to-hand

"I understand, but before that.there's the last thing I want to tell you,"

I realized that the sun was rising and the time I had was not much. Brother Hana said, there will be people from Chinchilla who come at eleven o'clock exactly. So, I just go straight to the point.

Brother Hana fell silent, waiting for my next sentence while my older brother sitting next to me was still in listening mode and not commenting much.

"Did sister Hana remember when she wished she had never met me?" my many.

The girl who was my interlocutor seemed to think for a moment, then nodded her head slowly so that the bangs that slightly covered her forehead swayed slowly.

"I remember, and after I said that, you ran away, right?" his reply.

I nodded my head slowly as an agreement. That's also true, I'm already heartbroken and think that I really have been hated just run away. And I knew I was hated, from the beginning no one liked me, I was just a burden and a bully.

And I won't deny that fact, I deserve it considering how useless I am. But why am I still confident like this? Come for an explanation and intend to apologize, I don't know what else ridiculous thing I can do.

"Yes, right. And I haven't answered what my sister said that you wish you'd never met me, have you?" my continue.

Hana nodded again for the second time.

"And do you expect the same thing? You also wish you'd never met me?"

A bitter smile began to form on her slightly pale and dry lips. But that smile is full of meaning.

"No, that's not what I want to say" I replied quickly.

I don't understand why he thinks that if I expected it, I never expected it.

"I'm grateful to have met you. I have no regrets at all,"

I was accompanied by my best smile, even though I didn't know if I looked good or not. But for now that's all I can say.

Brother Hana was silent for a moment, still looking at me from across the wooden table that separated us. For a moment, I thought he would be a little impressed. And maybe a little bit to change his view.

But to be honest, after knowing everything, I became unsure of myself. On one hand he is a good man, but on the other he is a great deceiver. Two things that might not be one. Is this what good means in evil? Or maybe this should be categorized as a crime in good? This.confusing.

"Haru, are you serious? After learning that he was just pretending that someone wanted to be sent to the research site, you still said that to him?"

My brother Allen had protested first, but he had preferred to be quiet and not comment on a few things. One of his eyebrows shot up and looked at him with a dislike look.

"Umm. yeah, I'm serious. Although sister Hana admitted that she was just pretending, but I'm sure what she did for me was sincere. So I thought.I never regretted," I continued.

My brother shook his head slowly, not believing what he was hearing.

"Haru.aku.do not know what to say. But I don't think that's true, you understand that I'm just pretending. Even if you hate me, it'll feel better,"

Finally, sister Hana spoke up. The girl did not look satisfied at all, even from the look of her eyes looked the same. I thought my words could make her a little touched, but nothing seemed to change, it was all the same.

"I'm serious about what I say, I never hated you" I explained. But he remained silent, showing no further reaction.

"Thank you but.sorry, I haven't changed my mind about you at all, I still wish I'd never met you,"

That last sentence seemed to be a dagger piercing right in my stomach. It hurts, but I also want to laugh. I understand, I'm too confident.

"I'll go now" I continued.

I got up from the old couch I sat on, followed by Allen. A creaking sound rang out from the friction of the floor with the legs of the aged sofa. Sounds that can cause pain and may make you get nightmares if you hear them at midnight.

I put again my sweater hood until it covers the head and part of the face. It sounds silly to wear a sweater and hood in this hot weather, but what can you do. I don't want anyone to recognize me and misunderstand me.

Slowly, I left the room in silence. Step by step it felt so strange, as if I was not used to my own feet. What kind of symptom is this?

After I got outside, I stared at the old building for a moment. The longer it looks the more dull it looks, like a colorless black and white film.

A few seconds later, the sound of a car engine roar from a distance. The longer, the sound is getting clearer and finally the form of the car was seen. The color is shiny black, with two passengers in it and a driver who drives it proficiently.

The car passed gracefully through the gate of the already rusty parlor. His four sturdy wheels smashed through the peeling ground in the courtyard of the parlour.

I continued to walk further and further, passing a small road that could only be categorized as one lane for vehicles. From a distance, I still managed to steal a glance. The two passengers and the driver came out together, but after that, I could not see them anymore because it was too far away.

That's them, the people from Chinchilla who are one of the research centers with the nickname of the place with the highest level of security.

"Hey, Haru. You okay?"

Allen broke my daydream. In every step I took, there were many things that came back to mind, it felt very disturbing.

"Hmm? I'm kind. Why are you asking?" my answer.

"Wait, can I laugh?"

"Laughs? wh why? is there anything funny?"

"Can ?"

I nodded, asking the question. I take off the hood of the sweater that covers my head, this is far enough, it should be fine. Too tired to wear it now.

"One more time, you don't get mad at anything I say yes to, promise me" he added.

"Yes, I won't be angry. So say," I asked.

"Alright Haru, listen. That was..so funny,"

Allen started laughing while holding his stomach. Wait, I still don't understand. Whatdoes thatmean? Why is he laughing? What the hell happened just now?

"When you saw you earlier, you looked like you had just been rejected while expressing your feelings. Although I know you think of it like your own brother, but it's funny, you feel like you're clapping one hand,"

"You're happy to know him, but he doesn't. Is this little Haru heartbroken now? Why just shut up? It was very entertaining, I should have recorded you earlier," he continued.

His nosy hands were pounding my head, his laughter was getting broken, every word he spoke sounded more and more annoying. Shit, he mocked me. I wanted to put my fist in her mouth until she couldn't laugh anymore.

"Laughter to your fullest, I want to go home alone. Don't follow me,"

I quickened my footsteps, then left her who was still a little laughing in a shitty tone. He just pisses me off.

"Basar brother has no morality," I swear in my heart.

"Haru, wait. Just kidding, your sense of humor is terrible. Haru, don't be so quick,"

Up ahead, the big road is already stretched. The sound of a simple horn echoed everywhere. Vehicles of various types of traffic, moving irregularly.

I just realized that I had to take the angkot again to return to the inn. All right, the next big deal is ready to wait. Maybe the angkot here has become my natural enemy. I stopped right by the side of the road, waiting for an angkot to pass by.

"Don't walk so fast. What if you get hit? Grandfather can send me to the afterlife faster than I should" lamented Allen who stood beside me.

"That won't be possible, grandfather was very kind. What's more you're his real granddaughter, and I'm just...,"

"That's not right, the way Grandpa treats you is as one-sided as Grandpa treats me. I also consider you as my sister, so let it remain so. Don't think about the no-no,"

A questionnaire with the number we were waiting for slowed down, then stopped right in front of us.

"Let's go," he asked so the angkot stopped completely.

Just as one of my legs climbed onto the angkot footing, my feelings started to feel bad. It looked familiar, but I continued my steps and sat down on the empty long chair. And in the end, I realized that this was the same angkot that I rode this morning, even the driver was the same.

With the majority of the mothers passengers and the hot temperatures stinging the skin, this really tormented me. Everything became a complete package because the driver this morning like to recklessly hold the wheel. All right, I'm giving up.

"Sister, do you know what I'm thinking?" I whispered to Allen who was just sitting next to me.

"Yes, this time we're like mind," he whispered.

Angkot back on the move, crossing a crowded and crowded road. And skillfully overtaking here and there without thinking about the passengers.

All right, this is the bad part. Can we just go beyond it? I don't want to talk about it.