Second Road

Episode 36: Why?

You know, sometimes things can't go the way you want them to. In this game called life, there are so many quests to be done. And not everything will work out according to the plan you designed.

When the things you hoped for and dreamed about begin to erode with time. And in the end, as you get closer to your destination, a great storm will come and head your way. And in the end, there's nothing you can get. Only the end of the path was empty and flat, with nothing there.

A banggo! That's the end of my story. When I thought everything was going to be okay, and when I started to put my hopes in, and it turned out that I was wrong. I was too naive to think that I was forgiven and worth waiting for.

"Now, go! I will not open my mouth about you coming here today" said Hana, the twenty-four-year-old girl turned her face away.

My chest felt tight when I heard her rejection, even though I had not said anything. He's so different, he's not the same person I used to remember. He's changed a long way.

"Hey lady, she came all the way here just to see you, and you kicked her out? At least listen to him first" Allen protested. He seems to be inadmissive with Hana's treatment.

"Our outsiders don't have to interfere! People like you who are always happy will not understand anything!"

Hana replied to that sentence with a hint of anger, I can only bow my head deeper.

I should have known that if he still hated me, I should have known that I could never be forgiven. I should have known..but why do I still think that I would be understood by him?

"Sorry.." I said slowly.

"Pardon me, but at least listen to me first." I asked in a slightly stifled voice in my throat.

It's hard to talk if he won't listen to me, and maybe most of it is my fault. Shouldn't I have run away before? Guilt comes to me all the time.

"There's nothing you need to say. Never mind, just get out of here now," he said.

"Hey lady, she's just..."

"I told you to just get out of here!"

"I wouldn't know anything if it continued like this. What does a kid seem to do until you talk like that?"

Flashback The day after I ran away from the research center...

The more I think, the more unthinkable my brain becomes. It's all really happened, I really did. I made it, I ran away from a research center called Chincilla, it's all done.

I don't know what I did to get out of there with little consequence on myself. Cuts, bruises and endless pain.

I don't have to think about anything anymore. And now I can go back. My old life has been waiting for me, there is no point in thinking about anything else. Everything is clear, I am free.

Tears kept dripping from the corners of my eyes, slowly falling down on my cheeks. My eyes were puffed up from crying incessantly. Even the left eye has begun to irritate and redden because I constantly rub with my hands. I don't know how to end this crying, I don't even know why I'm crying.

Either these tears are happy because they managed to escape from there, or maybe tears of sadness because they withstand pain from wounds all over the body. I don't know, everything just keeps turning around and coming together. It is no longer clear the difference between happiness and sadness.

When I look at myself in the window of a shop that reflects on me, I want to laugh. I look so pathetic. It can no longer be called a human being.

Shabby clothes, hair that was partly white spread irregularly, mixed with my hair that was still black and dusty. A body full of cuts and bruises, really pathetic.

I laughed in silence, laughed at my own situation and laughed at what I had done. I'm starting to realize I'm really ridiculous

In each of my dirty and unrequited footsteps, my head continued to process whatever I had done. Everything is vague, but I'm sure that I brought myself this far.

Everything was blurry, like it was covered in a kind of thick fog that blocked the neurons in my brain from processing it. But I did, and the memory started coming back.

As far as I can remember, after several strenuous experiments, I managed to go far away from there. With so much blood and tears that I sacrificed, it was enough for them to do so. That's enough, I don't want any more.

For a few days, I lived on the streets. Sleep in garden chairs and hold hunger with nothing to eat.

Sometimes some people feel so sorry to see me and ask what I am doing with a body full of wounds and dirty and dusty clothes. But I'm just saying that I'm okay.

They insisted on taking me to the hospital, but I didn't. I have my place to go back, I have to go there. Yeah, an orphanage where I lived a few years ago when I was very young.

Armed with hope, I asked the people I met on the street. From riding a freight car to walking, everything I traveled, my feet even became super blisters full of wounds because they did not wear shoes or sandals. One of my toenails has even almost slipped off because I haven't kicked a rock several times.

After eight days, I managed to sue myself to the place I wanted to go. After a long time, I was sure that I could smile again.

I arrived in front of the parlour with a radiant face. But my face turned nervous as soon as I saw a nice car parked in front of the parlour.

But the various negative speculations I immediately got rid of, it's okay. I just want to come back here, nothing less and nothing more. But still, I don't feel good. It seems like something might be happening soon.

Innocently, I approached the wide-open gate, without a padlock or key. As soon as my feet were about to step, someone appeared from inside the parlor, then ran up to me who was bullied looking at him.

Even from a distance, but I know exactly who he is. And even though I haven't seen her in a long time, my memory of her look and smell never goes away. Yeah, he's my light. Sister Hana, who I consider to be a sister or perhaps a mother.

As soon as he got to my place, he was silent for a moment. I looked at him with an expression I didn't understand. Slowly, his hand was raised up.

plaques..

In one fell swoop, a slap landed right on my left cheek, leaving me slightly staggered. I'm surprised I'm not playing. Why did he slap me? What have I done?

The girl was still looking at me, then slowly bit her lower lip, and started sobbing. For no apparent reason, her tears fell to the ground like unstoppable rainwater. She wiped her own tears, but it couldn't stop her crying.

"Sister, why?" askaku. It was so confusing, he slapped me and cried at almost the same time. Did something happen?

"Why..why are you back? Why?!" the answer is still sobbing.

I still don't understand. Why is he talking like that? Did I make a mistake? Why did he slap me? Why is she crying?

"Sister.. i..."

"Here you go, if it's like this, you'd better go. Just save your life. Go, go!" his orders.

"Why? I want to be here with sister Hana. I want to be with you" I replied in a slightly frightened tone if only my words could make her cry even more.

"Hurry and leave before they get here. Come on, it's okay, go. Hurry up, I understand what you're feeling. It's better you go, I understand. Come on, go."

The girl pulled my wrist and took me back to the gate, then her hand immediately pushed my back to leave immediately. Still confused, I started to panic. I...diusir? Butwhy?

"T-don't want. Wh why? Why are you crying?"

I still don't understand and keep asking the same question.

From a distance, I could see a man in a suit coming out the front door of the parlour building. The road is a little bumpy because his body is a little overweight.

"Hey ! There he is, hold him lady ! Don't let him run !" the man shouted from a distance.

I'm beginning to understand the situation. Looks like it's gonna end badly.

How's now?