Rinai Rain

Part 12: Jealousy

Part 12: Jealousy

Farel Star

Sayup\-sayup my eyes are still puffy by drowsiness. The sunlight started to hit the walls of my room. A black-framed photo had already greeted me to start the morning. His smile carried more energy in order to move his legs.

   My Papa's smile seemed bright this morning, just like the mornings I always go through. Although his smile can only be seen through the photo, but I know he will always smile for me there.

The woman had already knocked on the door many\-times. Not once did he get upset himself because I didn't open the door for him. It was obvious I had just finished taking a shower, even my clothes were still not to stick to my body.

   "Hurry up, don't go to your brother's school?" shouted my sister.

I deliberately kept quiet so that he would get even more upset this morning. Sometimes she looks beautiful when she's pouting. There was a lot of fun when I took it. The joy and anxiety of my mother's ferocity mixed into one.

"Yes, you want to come out again," I replied with a typical Malay accent.

  I open door. He is no longer standing there. Of course he had already come down to look at the breakfast menu this morning. He just left his fragrant body at this door.

My feet came down the stairs to the kitchen. Mama was busy stirring\-stirring something in her panc. My sister cools herself with her glass which she will fill with milk.

"Well, you guys eat this fried rice fast. It's late, just know the stage." Mama put the fried rice on the plate.

My sister looked annoyed at me. I can't say\-words, only a smile can be made before the laughter comes out.

   "Abang ni Ma, I've been called out, no way out" my sister protested.

"Siape told me to wait for Brother!" I replied while scooping the fried rice in front of me. He irritatedly threw a tissue he had used before.

"That's Farel, don't you row that Sarah juge again. Fortunately, Die woke you up. Otherwise, you won't go to school you're Farel" Mama said

   Mama pinched my arm. It didn't hurt much, but I just exaggerated it to look sick. My sister seemed satisfied to see me being pinched by Mama.

"Harum very early this morning Farel. Are you ready to go female, you want to approach?" ask my mother with a smile.

"After Ma. You don't need to know" I replied briefly.

"No need to know? Farel take die home. Meet same Mama, ye?" ask my mother again. I'm nodding. It's definitely the person I like that I'll introduce to Mama. It's just that I'm not ready to introduce him.

After eating breakfast, we greeted Mama before going to school. My sister rushed to pick up the motorbike, while I prepared to climb the hard rock of the sidewalk.

   Sarah is in X High School. The school is quite far from home, so he has to use a motorbike even though he does not have a SIM.

It's been three days of rain I've been waiting for never to come. I miss feeling that cold and piercing. The smell of raised soil is smelled in fantasy. The\-flowers by the roadside had dried without being doused, asking and thrashing to the rain. But alas, their prayer songs were not heard by the rain. Including my prayer so that he would come down to greet me again.

Unaware by me I've been smiling more lately. My life seems lighter than before. Symptoms of depression do not appear too often, even arguably never appear again.

True said Cessa's father who became my guide to forget everything. My depression can be eliminated, one way is by love.

   I have long lost love, especially the love of my own Papa and the love of a friend. I haven't had it for so long that I've been drowning in my own past.

    They're nothing to the people I've met before. They were like a group of students who had just learned about the outside world, so they felt great that they had looked at me like that.

Three days ago on the day Azka and I were kidnapped by Alvia, I could not understand why my body moved on its own and was more excited.

     That day I passed through the corridor that used to be their place there. A school gang containing crazy rich kids with their parents' property. Free rich like them if they become delinquents like that.

The guy with the hair is one of them. His name is Randi, the son of the biggest donor of Diponegoro High School. A real playboy, a pluckster, and the bully of other students, that's who he is. Followed by other students who always follow him anywhere.

"Farel, where's your deposit?" he said while intercepting me who was passing by. The other two people held my hand so as not to run away. The other four were behind Randi.

"Not enough snacks that your parents love?" my many. There was clearly the smell of cigarettes from his breath. I don't know where he sucked it. From the smell he felt, he seemed to have just sucked it.

"Against? Take him to the usual place" pinta Randi told his men.

    I was raided to an ordinary place. They often bully other students there, including me. I have entered it a dozen times.

The room was dusty as if it was not taken care of. All I know is this room was used as a laboratory before. However, it has now been changed as a school equipment warehouse. Usually the students use this room to escape from the pursuit of teachers who want to raid his hair. Slowly this warehouse is often used as a place to torture students by the Randi gang.

I count how many they are. There are seven of them including Randi himself. When I used to be held like this, even with more people. Not only that, my captor is not a student gang but a market thug plot that I often fight because of my high school friends. I can fight them, but not all. There was always Azka who came late.

All this time I was always silent if it was colonized by Randi and his friends\-his. Every time I tried to fight back, my emotions brought me symptoms of depression. My head became sore and the bad\-memory memory was twisted again. It undoes my intention to snap my famous fist that fast.

One sentence that I remembered that Cessa said.

You have to change.

It seemed to give me more energy and....

   One by one they fell helplessly.

***

I saw Alvia complete with her charming smile. His round eyes were looking straight at me. As if there was something he was worried about. Beside him stood the narrow-eyed man. Azka threw a smile at me. We just made up a few days ago.

"Are you okay\-what Farel? Last Randi was with her friends\nnya nyariin you," asked Alvia to me. There was clearly worry on the woman's face. His thick eyebrows hinted at that concern.

"Don't worry, Randi is nothing with Farel yet" Azka replied.

    The basketball captain ruffled Alvia's hair. Alvia hits Azka softly. Instantly there was a sense of tightness that I felt when the touch of Azka's hand landed on Alvia's hair and sheen.

   "It's okay, they just snapped at me yesterday."

    I smiled and left them both.

    Sometimes there's something that gets stuck in me when I see them both. I don't know what it is.

Maybe this is part of the love I have. It's a shame, jealousy.

***