Prison of Love

Lamar Me Now!

78

Uncle's right. Why is it so hard to find a way out when the road is in front of our eyes? However, the problem now is, how can I contact Fatih when I do not have her mobile number?

I opened his social media account. Oh, Thanks God, he just updated the story.

I pressed the message button, typed the message, and,

“Assalamualaikum, Sis. Sorry this is urgent. Can you call me at 0852-0090-xxxx?”

Slightly need more courage to press option ‘kirim’. When the message came in, my heart was beating.

What should I say when he calls later? What word should I say first?

Five minute interval. My phone rang, I looked at the foreign number I believed was Fatih. It took me a few seconds until I gathered the courage to lift it up,

“Assalamualaikum..” Sapaku.

“Waalaikumussalam Warahmatullah Westarakatuh. Is this Naya?” ask a man across the street. I don't know, I suddenly forgot what she sounded like.

“Kak Fatih?” I just asked back.

Laughter sounds heard from across there, “It looks like this is indeed Naya. What's up, deck? What urgent business made you have to contact me through social media accounts?”

I was silent for a moment, looking for the right words to start, “Kakak so here?”

“In shaa Allah until there in four hours. It's still in the taxi to the airport. What the hell is this, deck? Is your attitude suspicious?”

Again he called me ‘dek’. Makes me uncomfortable. But I was willing to suppress my pride by contacting her via social media instead of arguing with her about the call.

Closing my eyes I said with a fast tempo, “I want us to stop.”

“A-what? What were you talking about, Naya? Slowly dong.”.

He pretended not to hear or was it true that I said it so quickly?

“Kak Fatih, I want us to stop continuing this ta’aruf process.”

“Oh, I was not wrong. Okey, mention the reason, maybe I can understand,” Fatih's voice sounds flat. It was far from what I thought I would be angry or surprised.

I let out a heavy sigh, “I.. i... mmh.. I honestly did this process just because it was requested by Abah and Mother, not because of my own will. I don't love Brother Fatih, I can't marry someone I don't even like.”

“So it's about love, huh?” fatih asked in the same tone.

“Do you want us to have a marriage without love? Even if brother is fine, then what about me? Marriage is not like that. At least it's not the wedding I want.” My voice slowly swallowed. My confidence somehow evaporated somewhere.

For a moment I heard only the sound of his breath. Silence ruled us for a few seconds. Makes me feel held tight by guilt.

“Are you done talking, Naya?”

“A-what?” many confused. After he fell silent, he asked something unrelated?

“If it's done, I want to focus on continuing the journey.”

Suddenly I panicked, “K-sister...? I told you...”.

“I don't care, Naya,” Fatih cut my sentence, “Love will grow later after we get married. I will make sure, you will fall in love and will not be willing to be far from me later.”

“Kak. At least appreciate my feelings. I can't and I don't want.”

“What's less than me, Naya?”

I'm speechless, though,

That's not what I meant.

Any advantage you have won't make me open my heart!

“Look, you can't even mention what my flaws are that make you can't accept my invitation to get married,” Fatih's voice seems to vibrate. This time, an outpouring of emotions sounded from his tone.

“What?!” fatih's voice was heard rising two octaves.

“Sorry.. I. I love that person very much. I... I can't imagine marrying anyone other than her.”

“What does Abah and Mom know about this?”

I shook my head weakly, “No. Please.. please don't tell me that I contacted Big Brother and said about this,” I pleaded.

There was the sound of a little laugh across there, “See you at home, Naya.”

“Kaak an... Please..”

Before I finish my sentence, the phone call has been switched off.

With emotion I called Fatih's number again. There was a voice of the operator who said that his number was inactive.

My heart was hunting. My body's squeezing. My body staggered back to realize that this time I messed up.

While trembling, I subconsciously touched the contact Hengky on screen and called her,

As Hengky's voice rang out, my cries broke. I cried as I could while Hengky's voice panicked.

“S….Take me away... Take me away from here.” I cried while crying a mouthful.

“What's up, honey? O Allah, why are you suddenly crying?”

“You always tell me about your success there! But do you know I live a life like hell here?!”

The sound of his footsteps grew faster. Slowly the noise that sounded very clearly changed with a silent voice. Apparently Hengky moved places.

“Naya, please, slow story with me, what's up?”

“I will marry someone else, Hengky Widiyanto! I have no reason to reject him!!” I shouted emotion while wiping away the tears that blocked my view.

“No, Naya. I'm the only place you go home, I.”.

“I don't need words, Hengky! The man who was about to marry me was on his way home and I ran out of sense what to do. So, tell me, while I was desperately trying to maintain our relationship, what are you doing there?!”

The sound of Hengky's breath was clear. His lips continued to be slowly. The other side of me caught the oddity, it sounded foreign to me, because the Hengky I knew back then, wasn't like this.

If indeed the situation was supportive, my heart would soften and ask about this small change. I like this change.

But the current urgent situation did not allow me to digest the change in Hengky. I was still hiccupping, pulling my hair tight, trying to let go of the emotions and sadness.

“How do you want me, Naya?” hengky's voice sounded desperate.

“Apply me now!”

“Naya, calm down.. I know you're emotional. Remember, don't decide when you're emotional. Later it will be a regret in life.”

“What?! So you said that you would regret proposing to me?!” my voice is rising.

“Ya Rabbi... That's not what I mean..”.

“Then what?! Do you have another way out?!”

Hengky took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. He let me wait for a few seconds.

“Now you wake up. Bathe, take ablution water and pray two raka’at. Trust me, if God is with you, God will guide your speech later. Remember Naya, she didn't come to say the holy pledge, did she? He didn't come with the feathers, did he? What are you worried about?”

Suddenly I felt like I was waking up. The sound of my crying subsided, only the sound of a hiccup was still heard.

Hengky's right. Again he was right.

“You're calmer now? Remember well, the Naya I know is not a timid and resigned figure waiting for someone to humble her like this. The Naya I know is very smart in getting things back on her side. Take a good look at any words that come out of his mouth and use it to strike him back.”