Prison of Love

Cousin Brother Naya

63

“Who are you?” The resolute, suppressive voice coming out of Hengky's mouth gave me goosebumps.

“Include, I am Yusuf, Brother Cousin Naya,” Yusuf replied with a smile extending his hand.

Hengky raised his eyebrows, hesitating a bit that he received a helping hand from Joseph. From his gesture, it was clear he knew something had ever happened between us.

“Hengky Widiyanto.”

“Friends or..?” Joseph deliberately hung his sentence.

“So curious huh to ask repeatedly?” Hengky's tone of voice remained firm as the beginning. This time he even tightened his hand at me. I don't know what that means but it definitely makes me panic.

I was confused as to what to behave. If I admit that Hengky is my boyfriend it is tantamount to suicide, but not admitting to him as my lover is also not the right choice.

Ah, why haven't I told her that I'm not allowed to date Abah. Even my appearance was. If Abah saw, I would have been scolded all out.

“Good, Naya's older cousin and Hengky Widiyanto. How about we just continue the conversation in the cafeteria? I swear to God, I'm a laper!” Alfian rubbed his stomach. He grimaced at Hengky begging us to end this unimportant conversation.

“Good idea. We haven't seen you in a long time, have we, Naya? Chat while eating like fun.” Joseph smiled widely.

“Sigurirlaah! Five more minutes here I can faint lapses!”

Alfian laughed and walked ahead of us, followed by Joseph, who tried to get him to speak.

I looked at Hengky, asking for his approval, “Honey, if you don't like..”.

“Come, Naya. It is not polite that we let Brother Cousin you wait a long time there.”

I don't know why I feel Hengky pronouncing the word cousin sister with a different tone and emphasis.

I took a long breath. Life often feels like a very long television show but without a remote control. If it can be cut in certain scenes, of course I would like to cut the part where Yusuf suddenly came back in my life.

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“Adik Beautiful..”.

Joseph used to call me that. Either because of his words that often make me embarrassed or about his handsome face that makes my eyes like magic, which is clear, it takes a very long time to really be able to release it from my memory.

Yusuf Al-Qathiri's. When I was in fifth grade elementary school until I was in second semester, that name made my heart shake. Just hearing his name called can make me instantly misbehave. Imagine how my reaction was when he several times ‘seen’ privileged me compared to my other cousins. At least that's how I felt at the time.

This sounds crazy, doesn't it? We're cousins and I'm even crazy about him first.

Actually, we're distant brothers, no blood ties at all. Abah's younger brother was married to a woman who had an older brother. Yes, Joseph was the first son of a brother whose sister was married to my uncle.

We're distant brothers, it's okay to like him like this.

That's what I always put in my heart every time I write to him first. Even when I was in school at Pondok Pesantren, I always diligently sent letters. Just telling stories, asking the news, negating the feeling that fades every time my letter ends without a reply from him.

I almost managed to forget it when then before High School I came out of Pondok Pesantren and school at State High School which unfortunately, yes, this is a bad luck, I went to high school with him.

He was the upperclassman as well as the encouragement, adding to the growing quota of feelings each time he greeted me or smiled kindly at me. Starting from a smile, a light greeting even finally we began to send messages to each other.

Chat by phone until late at night, send messages until I always willing not to snack just to be able to buy a pulse in order to chat with him. Funnily enough, when we met at school the next day, we were amnesiac about what we had done last night. As if nothing had happened, it was as if our relationship was only limited to ordinary Brother and Sister Cousins.

He was not very tall, his height was probably only 170 cm. His body is somewhat full. Her hair looked thick until as she walked, her short but dense hair followed her body direction. Very cute and handsome in my eyes.

Our relationship continued like that until the day before graduation, I who was still in second grade High School found rumors that he was dating one of his friends.

That was my first heartbreak. I wanted to be angry with him but obviously I had no right to be angry with him. But when I remembered his special treatment, his smile and his eyes, ah. I felt like I wanted to come to his house right then and hold him accountable for the shattered expectations I had built about our relationship.

I have trouble keeping my heart. Coupled with his phone number that suddenly changed without telling me adding to the longer reason why I had to throw away my feelings.

To this day I don't understand why I liked it so much. Though no matter how well I provoked my memory, I did not find her sweet treatment directly or the attention that made me melt or the gaze of the eyes that made my knees weak.

“So, this brother is studying here too?”

Alfian's half-screaming voice made my consciousness again drag me to the fact that my first love was sitting side by side with my lover.

I raised my face looking at Hengky in front of me. When our gaze met, he smiled sweetly while whispering softly asking me to continue eating.

Ah, it turns out that he was observing me. Don't he know that my soul is interested in the past five years?

“Not, I studied in Bandung at one of the State Universities there,” Yusuf answered Alfian's question briefly. His eyes repeatedly turned towards me but I held back as hard as I could so as not to return his eyes.

“Yusuf??” The familiar voice in my ear made me look up to find a familiar figure laughing with a surprised expression.

“Bro Andy? Yep...! I forgot, you're studying here?”

I feel my legs are squeezing. Complete already. It's messed up, it's getting out of control.

Andy shook Joseph's hand and sat down beside Hengky. He still smiles widely while embracing the shoulder of Hengky, “Why can my sister be here?”

“Adik? Uh, which one is your sister?”

“According to Big Brother, from my face does anyone show the descendants of sultans like them?” timpal Alfian made the sound of laughter sound almost simultaneously.

“This is the cynical face from earlier this is your sister, Bro?”

“Wait...wait... You don't make this person emotional right? Or are you trying to tease the woman in front of him?” Andy blinked his eyes at me.

“Whose name is he?” Joseph's gaze was directed at me. Clearly he was fishing so that someone would answer the question that had not been answered in the first place.

I looked at Hengky. Request help.

No, not now, don't say anything now. Please.

“Naya our campus idol. Which men are not interested in a woman as beautiful as Naya?” Hengky smiled at me. Her eyes looked as if saying, ‘I know, without you saying anything, I understand.’

I just breathed a sigh of relief as Andy tilted his head slightly while looking at Joseph, ”Why, Bro? You may not start to put feelings on our campus Idol..” ask relaxed while laughing.

“Since childhood, I've loved it. Before you knew him, I had already met him.”

Andy's laughter stopped. All eyes were on Joseph. I gulped, my eyes fixed on Hengky.

Baby, look at me. I'll explain later. Come on, it's just the past.

As Hengky was about to open his mouth, Yusuf hurriedly turned his head towards Hengky, “Do you know? Naya likes me a lot too. How'this? looks like I'm gonna steal your college idol?”