Prison of Love

The First

#19

I pulled the tip of my lips when I woke up, opening my eyes as a bright light greeted me.

When I thrust my waist, a tremendous pain ambushed me. Slowly my memory began to return, realising that long days were soon welcoming me.

Hengky smiled gently as she watched me wake up. It looks neat. I don't know what time it is.

“You want to shower or breakfast first?” He asked softly, very much different from him last night.

“I want to die...”.

“Nayaa...” Hengky grabbed my hand.

I turned to her, looked her in the eyes and tried to smile, “You're back?”

“What?”

“Oh... I was right. The figure of Hengky I know is back..”.

Hengky tried to grab my body into his arms but I refused, I pushed my body back away from him.

“About last night..”

“You khilaf? You just want to test me? Or do you just want to apologize?” I cut the sentence quickly.

Hengky looks all wrong.

He sighed and sat leaning on the headboard, “I was wrong, Naya. Whatever it is, I accept”

My eyes were back in fog, I held back my tears by trying to smile while looking at her, “What's the point anymore? Yelling or berate maki won't bring it all back, will it?”

“Naya, not only are you feeling sick and disappointed, I am the same! Why did you think I did that last night? My will? No, Naya! I had to do it..”

Defense failed. Tears flowing down the cheeks. I crawled closer to him, though,

"You look at me, Ky... Then, do you think it's all my fault? You don't even know that a few days ago I almost committed suicide with a knife in my hand when Andy came to Kosan?”

“What?! How dare that bastard come to see you!!”

“Not ituuu Hengky!! That's not what I meant! I am the hancurr! Everything that happened wasn't because I teased him, not because I wanted it!

I was raped, Hengkyy!! You don't even ask why it happened then act as you please!!

You... you are no different from Andy.”.

Hengky. He was silent for a long time, leaving the room sounding sad with the sound of my crying.

“You don't really love me, Hengky... If your feelings were sincere, you wouldn't do something this low to me..”.

"You want us to continue this fight through the night?”

I raised Hengky's face, looking for the purpose of the question through the eyes, “We are talking about the consequences of your actions, Hengky! A quarrel? You still think this is my fault too?? That's right, Hengky Widiyanto!”

Hengky pulled her hair and stood up. His breath was hunting.

“Bathroom over there, Naya. Cleanse your body first then we continue this fight later”

He went out of the room after saying that sentence.

A very practical way to avoid feeling guilty, right?

I laughed out loud.

Laughing at my broken nose. Laughing at how outrageous the Universe is right now.

Our relationship has never been a problem before. I didn't even know that, going, was her way of avoiding the problems that were going on.

I limped into the bathroom, a tremendous pain down there.

And when the water hit my skin, my tears broke again. I roared, crying so much.

...------------------------------------------------...

When out of the bathroom, a paper bag looks striking on the bed. I scrunched my forehead and looked into it.

Ah, there are clothes, a headscarf and a small notepad on it.

...Before you woke up, I bought clothes for you....

...Put this on and get off on the second floor....

I pulled out the clothes he meant. A long dress and pashmina of similar color.

Should I go to the Police Station later? But what am I gonna say?

I'd say we had a fight and he took me to his house?

Then, how will Abah and Mom say later?

How will people see me?

I let out a breath. There is no gap for me to defend myself. Everyone will without a doubt blame me. Everyone would think I was hallucinating.

No one will defend me. No one will support me. I need to be able to finish this my way.

I'm still going around looking for the bag I brought last night. But despite turning over and over again, I did not find where my little bag was.

Was it deliberately hidden by Hengky?Where'd he put it?

I glanced at the clothes bought by Hengky, my lips smiling sinisterly.

Why would he bother buying me clothes while he had already forcibly stripped me naked?

There is no other choice, there is no way I will continue to allow my body to be perfectly exposed like this, right?

After wearing a long dress and pashmina, I pulled the doorknob and walked out of the room.

The two house servants who were cleaning the flower and wall decorations smiled and nodded at me.

I smiled back and accelerated my footsteps.

A kind of feeling raged in my mind. It felt like they were exposing me, they were talking about me, and they were laughing mockingly while looking at me.

No one can save me from this accusation. I deserve to be judged.

Hengky who was already sitting at the dining table smiled as soon as I saw me coming closer to him.

He got up and pulled a chair for me.

“Where is Father and Mother?” ask me while sitting down, making small talk.

“Since I was a child, they have never been here”

I who was scooping the fried rice suddenly stopped, turning towards him, “What?”

Hengky laughed, he held my hand, giving the code so that He who poured fried rice and some side dishes into my plate, he said,

“I grew up alone, Naya. Along with waiters, baby sitters and also uncles in front.”.

“Uncle-uncle?”

“Security, gardener, and personal guard”

“Personal guard?” I thought more and more, our lives are like the earth and the sky.

Hengky again laughs, “Dulu... when I was a kid...”.

“Ooh..”.

“Where? You like the cooking?”

“If you don't like it, then Mom makes the girlfriend Mas Hengky likesaa..”

Suddenly a middle-aged woman was standing next to me, putting a large plate of fried bananas and laughing at us.

“Ah, this is Miss Parmi... She's been in this house since I was a kid.” Hengky smiled kindly towards Bu Parmi.

“Duuh... this is the first time that Mas Hengky brought this girl home...” Miss Parmi nudged my shoulder and then blinked her right eye.

I tried to smile. While a shout of chiding maki resounded in my heart and mind at this moment.

“Inii.. waiter here nyampe ngira Mas Hengky is Homo because never squirm Mas Hengky bring his girlfriend here.”.

“Buu.. It is called Mbaa Asih tuh in the kitchen...” Hengky hurriedly cut off Bu Parmi's sentence before he felt even more humiliated.

Miss Parmi rushed to the kitchen. Leaving Hengky who just kept stealing glances at me.

I took a deep breath and then I exhaled slowly, I repeated it three times until the cry that filled my heart and mind stopped.

“Your first, Naya..” Hengky turned towards me and smiled.

“Yes. Damn, I'm the first. Why should I be your first victim?” I answered while looking hard at him.

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