Perfect Husband's

70. Sadness

#POVAndre

The engagement day will be awaited by every couple. But for me, no. Everyone's smile showed happiness as I was about to get married, but I could only swallow the bitterness whole-heartedly by myself. Who understands me? There aren't.

I was probably the only one who suffered the most. Suffering for the happiness of someone I love. I understand, I'm stupid, blind and heartless. You can say your worst words to me.

But you all don't know what it's like to be me. I want to be normal too. I want to stop loving Sila. But, the more imposing, the more I couldn't control my feelings. I'm really stuck.

When Sila congratulated me and Vallen, I could barely even control myself. I kind of wanted to end this charade, but I didn't want to embarrass Vallen in front of all the invited guests who had come.

I took a picture of me and Sila that I kept in the drawer. I am tired in situations like this. I hate myself. I cannot be a child of love who suffers alone.

"Braa!" I punched the photo until the mirror broke and pierced my hand. The pain I felt was not even comparable to the pain of my heart. The photo fell to the floor and was soaked by droplets of blood flowing from the wounds caused by the glass prick.

Almost the entire picture was covered in blood. I don't feel that pain. The pain I felt was just like being bitten by an ant. I looked down, looking at the photo that I had been keeping with my feelings for years. Now the picture is broken, stained with my own blood.

"Tock.tok.tok"

"Andre, it's me, open the door!" Vallen shouted from outside. I put my foot up and opened the door. Vallen. I immediately locked my room door.

"Da.blood? this is da.. your blood?" Vallen panicked to see blood splattered on the floor. He came up to me and found a wound on my hand. I just kept quiet, let the girl do what she wanted to do.

One by one the glass shatters that stuck in my hand were pulled out. More and more blood is coming out. He swiftly cleaned the blood with the tissue on my room table. Take the P3K box that was there too. Cleaning my wounds, giving alcohol and covering my wounds with gauze.

He then went to the bathroom, looking for a mop. tidying up the scattered glass, taking a photo full of blood, he looked at it long enough.he realized it was a picture of me and Sila.

"Just throw that photo in the trash box.." My orders. Not waiting long, Vallen had already thrown it away. He mopped all the blood that was splattered cleanly.

He came to me who was sitting on the bedside. Vallen looked at me without blinking. Like reading my feelings.

"I know, you're not strong enough to do this charade, Andre. I know your heart is hurting right now. You can't even control yourself anymore." He said very softly.

"Can I hug you?" I need a backrest now. Not as a couple, but as a friend.

"certain. Let's just say I'm your best friend" he said again, still with gentleness. I hugged him tightly. I even acted like a child crying for something to his mother. I've shed my grief, all of it.

"Vallen, am I guilty if I still love the man who even now has become my twin sister's wife? Do I deserve to be punished like this? Do I have to suffer to see others happy? Who cares about my feelings?"

"I always try to forget him, throw him out of my life, but my soul always wants to help him, always wants to be around him. Am I being too selfish? I'm tired of Vallen, I just want to end my life. I'm tired of enduring this pain and pretending to be strong."

"I love her, even now she doesn't care about me, ignoring me completely. What else am I in this world? Just for heartache? Just to pretend to be happy and fake smiles?"

"Andre, listen to me..." I felt Vallen's hands tremble, daring to stroke my hair.This was the first time we had touched physically more than handrails.

"You are innocent. Everything you feel is natural. A person who loves with earnestness, will not easily forget his feelings for someone even for years. Moreover, Sila is married to Andra has not been a year, right?"

"You must not give up, let alone want to end your precious life. Look at me, even though I just met you, but I have sincere feelings for you. You don't think I'm sad when you ignore me? When you left me alone at the party? I'm willing to treat me like that because I love you, Andre,"

"If you think maybe all of this is a setting, I assume all of this is seriousness. I really want to accept you for who you are. Even if you don't love me and don't care about me, allow me to love you, Ndre,"

"You're a man too good to hurt like this, Andre. You deserve to be loved, you deserve happiness. If you are willing to get hurt for Sila, I am also willing to get hurt for you. If you are willing to suffer for Sila, I am also willing to suffer for you, you are not alone, there is me,"

Vallen's words touched me. She was the first woman to care about my feelings after Sila. He was so patient with me like this.

"Vallen, I will continue to trouble you if you continue with me,"

"I don't care,"

"I'm just gonna hurt your feelings,"

"I don't care,"

"Are you sure you wouldn't leave me one day if I were still like this?" I looked at Vallen deeply. The girl shook her head.

"I'm sure you will open the door of your heart to me, Ndre" he said with confidence.

"Aren't you afraid of disappointment?" Ask again.

"I'm sure I'm ready to be disappointed" he said.

"good. We continue this play until the end. If in the end you or I give up, we agree not to sue each other. How's it?" I stretched out my hand that had just been injured by the broken glass to shake hands with Vallen. The girl shook my hand tightly enough that blood was seeping back from my wounds. This time the pain felt.

"I'm sorry.sorry..let me clean up the wound again," Vallen was again busy with the event of taking care of my wound because of his own mistakes. I just smiled a little looking at her slightly funny behavior. Vallen, thanks. It's been present and made my life a little more colorful.