Mother to My Son

Routines

Reza PoVs

This is the second day I looked for Hasna in the apartment that yesterday was shown by Aswin, at first I did not choose this apartment because it looks old, it looks old, the apartment is old but still decent and looks good because it is well maintained. It was a little further from campus when compared to the apartment we observed yesterday, but how else because Rain believes that in this apartment, it can be a place Hasna chose to hide herself.

The rain bought food, I was amazed he looked so excited today, so I could not bear to forbid him to come along. After driving Maura I just picked her up at home, Maura must not know what we are going to do today, too tiring and worried will even derail the plans that have been made because he is easily tired. I was sending an email when Rain asked me to close the laptop when I was only slightly edited to be sent directly to Chinese investors who asked for an estimated production capacity next year. I'm sure I can keep an eye out for people going back and forth when replying to emails.

As I continued writing the emails suddenly came a noise and a crying child. Apparently there was a little boy who was learning to wear skates and hit a woman who was walking. Parents should not let their children learn to wear roller skates in public places, I think, can harm others. I didn't pay much attention to the woman and looked back at the laptop until the boy's parents asked.

“Sorry my son is still learning...It's okay right?”

“Gak nothing.. It's okay, isn't it? If you learn roller skates do not forget to wear a helmet and safety protector” faint I heard the voice of the woman, I immediately glanced at the woman, He…. Her big smile is still the same. I didn't know him from behind, but when I lifted the little boy while rubbing his hair I could see his face. HASNA!

“HASNA!” I immediately stood up, he immediately looked at me in shock, and ran out. “Hasnaaa” I immediately ran after him leaving the laptop on the sofa, I can't lose him now. Geez she's pregnant why run away like that.. “Hasnaaa don't run” he ran towards the parking lot where he was going.

“Bunaaaa” was heard screaming Rain, but he was still walking quickly between parked cars. “Bunaaaa...” I heard the screams of Rain, a distance closer to Hasna than I. Apparently he had bought food in the apartment area.

“Bunaaa.. I don't want to be elegant..I want to be ayaam ajaaa's child...” I was immediately stunned.

“Bunaaaa…. I want to be a chicken ajaaa” I saw Rain squatting while crying in the parking lot, she became like a child with a plastic bag in both hands. He no longer cared about the others who were watching him, it was already that big still crying loudly.

“I want to be ayaam ajaaaa's child.hwaaa” I was stunned to hear the cry of Rain, the same cry as when she felt unnoticed by Hasna first. He's stopping...Hasna stopped and turned to see the rain. Shut up and look at him with a desperate look. What I did made the two women in my life suffer like this.

“I don't want to be elaaang Bunaa.. I want to be a chicken ajaaa… it's okay so ajaa hwaaaaa” Rain is still crouching and continues to cry while holding a plastic bag in her hand. Occasionally rubbing tears and snot in his nose with his sleeves. Hasna was seen approaching him while crying, I could only fall silent and stand looking at them.

“Mafin Bunaaa's…. Maafin Bunaa...” he immediately hugged Rain while crouching. “Kaka do not cry like this. Buna most do not like if Brother cries like this later Mami Mitha sad” instead of stopping crying even harder.

“Makanya Buna…. Ade cried evenings.I want exams next week.I can't study. Papi does not want to eat just drink coffee ajaa.then if Papi is sick continue to die, I'm the same howaaaa” the child even thought I died again…

“Iyaaa Buna wants to go home, Buna just still needs to finish first work, Buna will promise in email” he can still find a reason.

“Ngerjain his work is not here at home only..” I see Rain looked at Hasna with hope, Hasna just smiled and nodded.

“Kakak from when is here?” he pulled Rain up, rubbed his face and tidied his hair.

“I from this morning have been waiting in the lobby for almost two hours, yesterday I nyariin Buna in another apartment all day there. Papi did not believe when I said it was impossible if Buna lived there.in fact Buna lives here” the boy even complained that we from yesterday look for him.

“What's this buying? Want to eat cake yaa, we go on yuk, do not cry here shame diliatin people” Hasna pull Rain walk with it, pass me like a stranger. Not looking or looking at all. I don't care, I follow them like a goat shuffled by its nose. It turned out that he lived on the 3rd floor, while in the elevator never looked at me at all. Just rubbing Rain's hair continued to look at me with an awkward look.

“Buna who's the same here?” The rain seemed curious to worry that there was someone else.

“Self, the room is small but Buna likes, can work and finish the job before going home. Next week Buna wants to go home” strange women, both live in Jakarta but like living in another city. The rain did not comment much, he just followed Hasna step by step.

“This Buna” room she entered into the second unit located at the end of this floor. The danger of its position is prone to the very end of the room, people rarely see, CCTV cameras can not see clearly. The rain held the door until I entered, this child is indeed reliable.

“I bought Buna's favorite cheese cake. cafe under complete, I bought red velvet trus there is matcha cake too. ehhhh geez earlier I fell instead, must be so ugly deh” he immediately opened the cake box on the table near the TV. Apparently he rented an apartment with a fairly spacious studio type with one bed size of 180x200, a small pantry complete with a refrigerator. Large size wardrobe, there is a dressing table in the corner near the window, a sofa with two seats next to it, as well as a bathroom complete with a shower like a hotel room.

“This fire croissant, Papi had to eat this morning just drink coffee aja” Rain thrust a paper pack on me, I see there are two croissants, only I hold and keep looking at him. He looks fuller, his cheeks are not as thin as they used to be and his eyes are no lines of sleep deprivation, thank God he looks healthier, by wearing a veil he looks different.

“No milk? Buna has not been shopping just have milk and cereal” I immediately wrinkled how pregnant women only have milk and cereal only.

“I bought cake.. Buna cobain is Buna's favorite cheesecake, I want to try this matcha cake..hihihi kirain will be destroyed cream” Rain directly open the cake box and save it on a plate provided by Hasna. They seem to ignore my existence.

“Waaah Buna has not even tried cheesecake, happened to be hungry Buna really want to snack” he looks happy to see the cake presented in front of him, since just now I see him smile.

“Buna wants to try this latte coffee” Rain offers his coffee to Hasna, I will immediately react but fortunately he shook his head. “Gak.. buna drink milk only” ahhhh fortunately he understands that pregnant women should not drink coffee. Do not let the incident Mitha happened also to him, coffee can trigger high blood for people who do not usually drink it.

“So sister why just below?” they eat cake like two friends who have just met. “I was studyingrr... Papiiiii the textbook of meu in the lobby? Papiii's laptop alsoa” Rain immediately looked at me in shock, I just smiled weakly. I don't care anymore.

“Bunaaaa I go down first take a bag there is a notebook I made the test, Papi laptop also left in lobby” he immediately jumped and ran out. Hasna immediately stood up and looked at Rain who was running out of the room leaving us both.

As soon as the door closes.click.. The awkward atmosphere immediately felt. Hasna seemed unconcerned she continued to eat the cake that had been brought by Rain and drink milk, then clean the dishes and glasses of her used food into the pantry and wash it in silence.

“Raa..” I tried to start a conversation, I can't keep quiet like this.

“Ra.. I beg you, I'm sorry” he's still quiet not flinching as if he didn't hear me.

“Ra I beg you, I regret having made you like this.I apologize” I tried to get close to him and sit on the bed the closest distance to him. He was wearing clothes from T-shirts, I could see that his stomach had started to bulge no longer straight as before. The rain did not notice it, he must have thought, because Hasna was wearing a veil, and her clothes became loose.

“Do not approach…. Don't come near or I scream.” she instantly realizes that I'm approaching her.

“Ra I just want to hug you, hug our child...” I can no longer bear to hug him.

“I said give me time...why look for me” he still turned his back to not want to look at me at all.

“Raaa...I can't live without you. I'm sorry I promise I won't repeat the same mistake..Rara please forgive me…” I approached him but tried to refrain from touching him. Suddenly he turned

“BUT I CAN…. I CAN LIVE WITHOUT MAS REZA” I was stunned to see the look of his eyes full of hatred to me, his gaze made my whole body feel cold.

“Rara…. I. I love you.. I beg to believe my words” he smiled cynically while continuing to shed his tears.

“Haaha it's just a self-rescue speech, so I can be fooled again like before, like Mas said I'm just a rotating trophy right… now the cup is broken can not be used anymore” the words are like piercing into the heart why hurt by his own words.

“I'll go home to the kids, raising them makes them happy, but don't expect Mas Reza to be in my sight, I've been thinking the only way to survive is to assume that Mas Reza has no”, his gaze is sharp and his hand is pointing at me. Why do I feel that the woman in front of me is like there are two shadows of women. Mithaa whether your anger and hatred for me, you reveal also now with Hasna.

“Yaa...it's okay.I accept, you can do anything to me. I accept all these punishments.. My whole life I'm gonna make up for it.” I come closer and try to hug her. This feeling of wanting to hug was too strong, he immediately screamed.

“Lepaaa…. I said freelsss... I don't want to be touched by you” he hit me, his strength is strong but I hold on I just want to hug him.

“Lepaaaa...arghh…. Ahhhhhhhhhh…. Sakiiiiiit...sakiiiiit” suddenly his screams weakened and his hands became limp and held the belly. I was immediately shocked, I didn't think that it would affect him I just wanted to hug him.

“Arrghhhh…. Mas stomach I hurtttt hwaaa” he fell limp to the floor, I immediately propped his body. Panickk…. What I've done…

“Hasnaaa…. What hurts..why stomach..” I directly hold his stomach. She was still crying while holding her stomach.

Suddenly the door opened and Rain came in with two bags in his hand.

“Bunaaa.. why Buna?” she panicked to see Hasna sitting on the floor with a grimacing face while crying.

“Buna why?” he immediately seemed confused and saw Hasna who was crying while holding her stomach, reflexes took hold of Hasna's stomach and immediately screamed.

“Papiiiii Bunaaa hamiiilll...hwaaaaa” she immediately screamed and cried, I never saw a rain as hysterical as that.

“Papiiiii Bunaaaa don't dieiiii……. Hwaaaaaaa... Buna jangaaaaan matiiiii” I am confused as to how…

“Bunaaa don't die…. Papy! my mom died when I was pregnant….. Now that Buna was also hamillll hwaaaaa” apparently Rain was traumatized by Mitha's death, I could only look at her sadly, she kept holding Hasna's hand and looked at her stomach with a frightened look.

“Bunaaaa don't die..” he keeps screaming don't die don't die. How is this what I should do.

“Kakak…. See Bunaaa..sir see Buna...” suddenly Hasna holds and pulls the hand of Rain. “Kakk...Buna is fine..Buna stomach only hurts.. Now rub Buna's stomach so that the pain is gone” Hasna pulled Rain's hand to hold her stomach. I could only stare at the two with tears in my eyes, both my hands holding Hasna's shoulders and head on the floor.

“Hold his sister so he calms down…. Don't cry like that..why Buna who is sick even you who scream” he still tried to pull the hand of Rain and put it back on his stomach.

“Buna ...Buna is okay?” he looked frightened, Hasna nodded and smiled weakly.

“Sobbed his sister, the number is okay there is a Brother Rain here is the same ade..ade do not make sick Buna” Hasna seemed to lead Rain while rubbing his hands, Rain looks hesitant to hold Hasna's stomach

“Ade... don't make Buna sick.. it's okay there is a big brother now, ade don't make Buna sick..kasian Buna” he continues to rub Hasna's stomach slowly. Hasna smiled back.

“His pain has improved, now help Buna lie on the bed” he tried to get up from his seat, want me to hold and be swept, thank God I am afraid he does not want to be touched at all. I slowly lay down on the bed tidying up the pillow and covering her legs.

“Ma..still sick?” I was worried, maybe he was so upset when I hugged him to the point of pressing on his stomach. Hasna just nodded weakly.

“We're going to the hospital now? Should be checked for fear of anything” I hold his hand feels cold.

“You fell asleep first” he looked at Rain and smiled, Rain's face still looks anxious. “Big brother here sleeps near Buna.. his rich sister is happy to be rubbed the same Kakar” Rain immediately rises and sits next to him staring at Hasna's stomach which looks protruding a little when lying down.

“Buna since when is there a baby? Why not tell me the same story I” he rubbed Hasna's stomach slowly. The swab looked calm and closed his eyes, “Bunaa... don't underestimate me fear that Buna brushed..” I can only shake the head of this child is really traumatized.

Hasna opened her eyes and smiled “diusapin Sister, Buna so sleepy hehehehe already do not cry.. later her sister was shocked” she immediately wiped the tears on her face and looked at me.

“Papi hold the belly of the Mother.. ngejendul .. I remember first hold the stomach of Mami when pregnant ade.. He used to love movement.. Now why didn't his sister move” Rain pulled my hand to hold Hasna's belly. I hesitated, worried that Hasna didn't like it, but she seemed silent. Finally I ventured to hold her stomach for the first time, my third child I was finally able to touch…