Mother to My Son

marvels

“I want to sleep here.. I promise I won't touch you.. But let me sleep here… I confused” voice Reza like a confused man should do what.

Hasna sat down and looked at Reza who was lying down and looked down on his pillow, his desire to drive the man away instantly. It was unpleasant to fight together.An opponent who looked weak and lacked life energy.

“Why melow like that .. lost pictures of Mitha” Hasna sitting on the side of a mattress attached to the wall. Her sleepiness was lost seeing Reza enter her room and look like a chick lost its mother.

Reza was just silent, in his mind raging about things. Since this morning his emotions had risen to see Arkhan, in the afternoon he was filled with regret for being angry at Hasna and then chasing Rain so he could pick up his wife. Once at home he found his room was open and the photos of Mitha were all gone. When he opened Mitha's wardrobe all of her clothes were gone, it felt very stifling.. Why is Mama so brave to take her things without permission.

Mama Bertha only left 1 photo when Reza, Mitha and Rain who was still 1 year old was posing in front of Big Ben in the fall, ahead of his return to Indonesia. The photo was placed on the bed. Regretfully, they did not even give him the chance to part with all the memories he had with his late wife.

There was a feeling of wanting to cry but like being held back in his chest, never being able to come out just quietly inside. He tried to smack his chest just now not come out, just feel tight. Tears flowed looking at the photo left on the mattress, Reza sleeping curled up hugging the photo, why she felt abandoned by everyone today.

　

Hasna PoVs

Mas Reza looked silent, he was not like the man who had just let out anger by cursing in the car, who was staring at him full of fire, what appeared in front of him was only a man who looked like paper exposed to water. Still shaped but can not have the power to stand, trying to remain tangible so that when the water has dried he can again have physical again.

“Mama took all photos of Mbak Mitha?” I asked, I did not dare to go into the room, did not want to be more precisely because I felt I did not have interests and I no longer care.

Mas Reza nodded

“Only photos? Mbatha's clothes were brought too?” ask again. Reza looked at me with an astonished look,

“You know I still keep Mitha's clothes?” he looks surprised.

“Tahu... I also know that the parfume that Mas Reza bought me was his favorite parfume Ma'am Mitha.

“I'm sorry I was confused when I wanted to buy parfume, because I used to buy parfume that I immediately chose it... Sorry I don't think long” Mas Reza back down, his feelings back feel guilty.

“Turn to Mama's house just ask for some photos and clothes Mama Mitha so that Mas Reza does not feel lonely” I return to lie down and turn to Mas Reza, lazy to talk about this, it feels lazy to talk about this, but seeing Mas Reza who was such a hit was too pitiful for me to see compared to the thought of him still storing those items.

“Do you love me Hasna?” suddenly Mas Reza asked one thing that I definitely could not answer, Long time I was silent did not answer Mas Reza's question.

“Hee... strange question, asking my feelings when Mas Reza was still trapped by the feelings of love in the past” laughs me sound discordant while still turning my back to Mas Reza.

“I never intended to hurt you. I tried to forget all the feelings I had with Mitha” the voice of Mas Reza sounded blocked.

“But too many stories I went through with him....there are many plans that I have not yet completed… there are a lot of regrets that I haven't got from him…. Ahhh...mithaaa” suddenly heard the voice of Mas Reza crying like letting out all the tightness that pressed him to his chest.

I was shocked.why he suddenly cried so great, it felt like what I said was mediocre.

“I feel guilty.. should not have gone to Surabaya... should have accompanied him when he wanted to be accompanied by a doctor…..” his voice was blocked by the cries he kept trying to cover on the pillow.

‘I just said later I accompany.. I did not know the pain would harm him.. Time.when he calls and cries ..I just ask keken why but can not talk long againii.I I instead leave him to rapaaat…. I think it's just a hamiiill hormone seizure.that's the last time I talked to him…. With him and he cried…. Mithaaa” Mas Reza still continued to cry and covered her crying voice on the pillow. His body seemed to tremble withstanding the feeling of sadness, his hands clenched and hit the pillow.

Apparently taking photos and clothes of Ms. Mitha from the room, opened the wounds that were in Mas Reza's heart. All this time he covered the wound by making the atmosphere of the room look the same when Mitha was still there. The release of photos on the wall and clothes in the closet is like making the wound cover come off and the wound gaping back.

I finally got closer, I rubbed his shoulders.

“Don't cry too much, Kasian Mitha.

“While I do not know Mitha Ma'am I know that he knows Mas Reza's busyness, he must know Mas Reza very well so that he knows that Mas Reza's busyness is for the happiness of the family”

“There must be a busy time there is free time, it's just that the busyness takes more time so that before the arrival of leisure Mbak Mitha keburu does not exist.

“No one is ready for death, we never know when it comes. Mama Isna also felt sad to bury the child she gave birth to, Rain must see her mother die in front of her… everyone must have regrets” I wiped the tears that were on his face.

I lay myself next to him, his face looking fragile and tired. It did not appear to be the life energy that normally radiated from his eyes. His nose was red and snotty, funny as it looked like Maura when crying was left behind. I wiped away the tears and snot on his nose with my pajama arm.

“Jorok you..” he said with an annoyed look. The feeling that must be upset me.. She knew why she was disgusted.

“Don't cry so it looks ugly” I said, he even looks annoyed because it is called ugly.

“You never experienced feelings like me, left with guilt” said again, apparently there is still something he wants to express.

“Every time I see Maura and Rain, I always feel guilty because they are big without having mom” her tears keep flowing while she sleeps on her back.

“Having you with them makes me feel calmer”

“But why do I still feel the most guilty, I have tried to come apologize every week to Mitha, but why does Mitha like not forgive me” Mas Reza back sobbing. In front of me was a man trying to explain his mistake to someone. Apparently all this time he had never been able to reveal it.

“Even in a dream I could never meet him.. Even those of you whom he does not recognize dream with him.I do have to die so that I can apologize to him” Mas Reza increasingly sobbed carried away by the guilt that beset him.

“Hussss…. Istigfar..kok think it's that far... “ I so shed tears seeing so fragile he. Apparently the stubbornness and sternness revealed on the outside by her was only camouflage fragility from her confusion.

“Indeed if Mas Reza dies, Ma'am Mitha will forgive?” I said, he looked at me with a clueless look.

“He will definitely blame Mas Reza if he chose to die only to meet with Mpa Mitha, for Mbak Mitha the biggest burden in the world that he thinks only children..that's why he came to my dream” I said as I held his cheeks together, fixed his eyes on me so that he understood what I was saying.

“Mbak Mitha would be very grateful that Mas Reza can educate and raise children who he gave birth to large, because God only gave him a short time in the world”

“She only thinks about the kids, who thinks about me” she said while looking down miserably.

I gently kiss the lips that are still wet with tears and snot. Feels salty. I lifted my face and looked into his eyes.

“Now have to think ahead, do not be shackled by guilt that only damages ourselves” I smile seeing his dark eyes that look calmer and deeper.

“I'm here to help Mas Reza and the kids can keep moving forward”

I gave a light peck again to ease the feeling of his hump, but Mas Reza instead pulled and hugged me tightly. Her lips pressed deep and soulful, is this why her kiss became lustful, I found it hard to breathe. I finally pushed her body.. I've never fought at close range like this. This kiss made me become lemes.

“Hmmpp...Mpass..lempasss” I tried to break away, I overthrew my body, it's like a wrestling fight.

“Mass…. Gimana siihhh.. dikasih thigh instead ask chest” I tried to breathe with a beheading. He was still staring intently, his chest seemed to descend up. I held her body with my hands so she wouldn't come closer.

“I haven't made it to dada” he replied calmly.

“Tadi nangis-nangis bongan yah ..so I let my guard down I so look at him annoyed.

“Engga is sad, now the feeling feels better relieved, it turns out it must be issued.. all this time I can not tell anyone” he said while tidying up his messy hair because of the wrestling earlier.

“Especially after getting the kiss earlier, felt drifting feeling. It had not felt like that long ago, the human Iluk smiled and then felt my lips and approached. I'm straight away.

“Your lips are not swollen anymore right?” he said while continuing to rub my upper lip.

“Engga.. Again not mens so not easy allergy” I took his hand. It sucks how fast his emotions change, from the cry of a rich child to immediately normal just because of being given a kiss.

“I'm hungry, I haven't eaten since lunch…. Earlier in the car I was just the fragrant part aja chicken.. You guys did not want to eat the same I” Mas Reza directly down from the bed and stepped out. I just stared with a frown.

“Ayo accompany... I don't want to eat alone” he turned to look at me who was still motionless on the mattress, still shocked because he was suddenly invited to wrestling, weight and body he.

“Iya bentar...” I finally accompany him down to the dining room, fortunately there are still 4 pieces of chicken that was purchased for Maura. I kept it in a dish and was taken to the sofa, she looked calm not like she was crying like a rainstorm.

Mas Reza instantly picked up the chicken and savored the piece by piece voraciously, looking very hungry. It was natural to cry long and hard, the last time I saw a man crying like that when Emran was left Father and Brother Angga went fishing, because Emran sleep so abandoned. Apparently Emran really wanted to fish with Dad, he had prepared worms that he collected from the yard.

Emran rampaged while crying loudly, but at that time he was 2nd grade Junior High annoyed until he threw the worms he collected in cans so that worms scattered in the middle of the house. Mama screamed in fear seeing a lot of worms moving in the middle of the house and Emran was crying loudly. Finally I collected all the worms that were confused looking for land, Emran I took to the fish pond that Mang Endut carpenter owned in the market. There finally Emran can satisfy his fishing desire, and from the results of his fishing he got a lot of fish.well the name is also a fish pond sales guaranteed hungry fish. When the father came home with Kak Angga they had to be disappointed because the fish caught was not glimpsed by Mama because the fish caught by Emran fishing had been fried.

“What a smiley” asked Mas Reza, apparently I unconsciously looked towards him while remembering Emran.

“Nothing... it turns out that it has rained a storm.. appeared a rainbow... hungry yaah” my god saw four pieces of chicken directly slippery toilet.

“Hmmm... ask to drink warm orange” his door, it turns out consciously also afraid of his belly full of fat with fried chicken. I make oranges that are always available in the refrigerator, apparently it is his favorite drink. Her body was still good even though she was old.

“I'm going to sleep.. Tomorrow morning to pick up Maura” I said as I moved up the stairs.

“Wait for me to spend the orange first” he immediately spent his orange juice in a few gulps. What's…. Wait, will he come back to the room? The danger of wrestling again.

“You slept in my room? I don't want Mas Reza to be rich again earlier” I immediately block his efforts to climb the stairs.

“I don't want to sleep alone, the lower room feels empty and quiet” he immediately pushed me aside and led me into the room. Arghhh…. This must be given a limit. I quickly followed him before entering the room.

“I don't want to be an outlet just because Mas Reza feels lonely after all the photos and clothes of Mbak Mita taken away by Mama”. He closed the door and looked at me. Step forward and pull me in his arms. I pushed her away, but she wouldn't let go of her hand on my shoulder

“I don't want to be the woman chosen because there is no option”

“I want the thoughts and feelings of Mas Reza who is completely for me not only half, a quarter, a third of Mbak Mitha” said.

“I don't want to be sad again rich yesterday” I pushed his body away and went up on the bed. I took the bolster and I gave the distance between us, I went straight to sleep behind him.

I felt his hand grab my shoulder. Hugging me from behind was blocked by the bolster making it only able to grab a part of my body.

“Give me time to get to know you more Hasna” her hug feels warm,

“I won't force you until I myself am sure of my feelings”

“Today I just felt peace for more than 3 years pressing my feelings”

“I will make me confident to be able to accept me with all the feelings of love I feel for you”

“Now we sleep.. don't worry I won't bother you until we're both completely ready and confident with how we feel”

His hug tightened and made him feel calm.It turned out to be exactly what Fiersa Bestari said…

Come on let's listen to her song Aa Fiersa: Sometimes it's okay /For no good only /We are only human / It's only natural if not perfect/When you feel upset / See your heart believe it / Everything is weird/It can be lightened with a hug

　

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Today's lesson Mak Emak Detergent: Do not easily blaspheme someone from one side only, must understand one's attitude from various points of view. Imagine if we are in his position.nyesek deh... hehehehe thus tausiah from Mama ShanTi.. there is a slight roll so that after the flood of tears.... May you be entertained and remain happy.... Pandemic has not passed still increase immunity do not be angry continue the same Mas Reza. if you have a strange ... Love you all

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