Married to My Own Gus

Miss Daddy

I've been in the cabin for a week, I feel a little.Yes a little, I feel a longing for my Dad, just a little because I've never missed Dad, Dad, as if I never needed him, when all I had was him. I never cared about my father, even if it was inversely proportional to my attitude toward me. Dad always loved me and took care of me, trying to fulfill all my wishes, even though it was weird and unreasonable. Dad will still try to fulfill it, even when Dad has no money at all, if I whine to buy something, then for my sake Dad will be willing to do anything.

And now that I'm here without Dad, with no one always being affectionate and sincerely loving to me, there's a strange feeling but I don't know exactly. But everything seems different. I'm starting to miss my dad, even if it's just a little.

Somehow I miss her loving gaze, her sincere concern. I miss her warm smile. I miss being treated special, being the only one.

I'm a bad boy, you know, and you never listen to anything Dad says, always refuting, indifferent to all his advice and advice. Completely indifferent to his feelings and heart, never grateful to have a father who loved me very much, took care of me with the whole soul and body. Although I only have one parent, but he has tried to always be there, caring and kind to me.

Dad's treatment to me sometimes I feel too special. Is it because I'm the only relic of Almh. Mother. I made Dad always remember Almh. Mother. People who are loved at all times.

"Your memorization has been deposited?! Today is the last day of your rote deposit" Wulan patted me on the back. I who was daydreaming was a little shocked, and immediately glared at Wulan

"Emang I care, I don't care, I never care at all. Even if I get kicked out of here, I'm very grateful and happy, that's what I really expect" I slightly singed, smiled in disgust and then waved my lips

"Yes, whatever, I already know you, don't let you regret later with all your attitude now" Wulan back ngockeh not because but I really don't care.

"you're here for the better, your parents want you to change, here you still see"

"I don't care, lan...!!I'm not here because of my will, if I could fly I'm out of here"

"But you can't, it's your destiny, live your life in a positive way, in doing anything. Think positive, do not ever blame anyone for the destiny of life you live, all has been written by Allah SWT before man was in the world. Do whatever is right and sincere, be a better person every day, or you'll regret it later, watch out for your regrets" Wulan left me alone.

But here, everything is inversely proportional. I feel always forced, I'm like a maid in order nyapu, told to mop, clean the bathroom, he said so that I was no longer spoiled, so I could be independent heeem. To eat alone all must be willing and sincerely queue, bathing must be in line, what is this?? the world seems very narrow, a little in the law, do not pray worshipers in the law, late waking up in the law, the time to learn sleepy in the law. Time at school if troublemaking, noisy, annoying other Santri wati, all that will be in the law too, life is only full of punishment.

Wulan was the only person in the cabin who wanted and dared to talk to me. Although all I know is that everyone here is friendly, maybe I'm too good-natured, so the other Santri wati is reluctant to approach me, but honestly I don't want to be around them either, and then Wulan? why is he different from the others. He's always been friendly, he's too nice a person maybe. Until he doesn't care about the "KEBO" person I am, who is very lazy, but he is still good. He always gives me encouragement, reminds me, counsels gently, his speech is also very polite. Even though it seems like I and Wulan are the same age, we can be said to be the same age. We are in the same class, our faces do not look much different but as I know until this moment, Wulan is very mature and looks very independent

I have never seen Wulan in law, always pray in jama'ah. School is always on time. I see always learning and everywhere always carrying books. Even he was always a master at the forefront, he was always active in many activities, always smiling when talking, polite, meek. That's what I know little about Wulan, even though it was accidentally the intention of kepo or whatever, it was just unintentionally I saw, because every day I met.

Unlike me, who will always show a face of cool, sprained and lazy, yes of course. I'm not here because of my sincere intentions. Wulan's friends are not like me, who are lazy to hang out and chat with them, but why only Wulan who still wants to be friends with Me?? even though I would never want to be friends with anyone here, including Wulan.

For me, Wulan was chatty, just like Dad, a little advice, good-ass, smart-ass, what because I was thinking about Dad, so there is a personal Father in the soul of Wulan.

Prayer is the duty of every human being.Ibadah that must be done five times in a day-night, there are four Rokaat Dzuhur. Ashar four Rokaat. Maghrib three Rokaat. Isya' four Rokaat. And the dawn of two Rokaats. Allah SWT created man just to worship Him. Strive to always carry out all the commands of Allah SWT. And always stay away from all the prohibitions of Allah SWT, there is nothing in vain Allah SWT created In this World. For me prayer is an internal obligation between Me and Allah SWT, there is no relationship with anyone else, I sincerely carry it out. The prayer that I do is Sincere because of Allah SWT, because even though my soul is rancid, I always try to always pray, but if asked to pray with pilgrims I am still very lazy and heeem want to run away, because it does not want me, because it does not want me, maybe someday Allah will open my heart to pray together.

Though I already know, if the prayers merama'ah merahanya more twenty-seven degrees than the prayers alone, but why I am still lazy once, if asked to pray together.

I want to run away from the cottage, but no way, they're all good, but I can't stand it here, I'd better make another troublemaker, let me get out, good idea, right? if you're angry, it's easy, I'll think about it later, if you just shut up I think it's better, than I got to be trapped here, here for me like I'm in prison.

All the santri wati had slept, the atmosphere of the boarding school that was usually very crowded with teaching and learning activities was now off guard, there was no sound, maybe they were very tired, until all fell asleep so soundly, so they were very tired, but not with me. I'm not sleepy at all. And what is this feeling? why do I have the desire to memorize deposits? have I started to change, if I change I will forever be in this sacred cottage.

There is little desire to remain here, to see all those who are always peaceful, courteous and polite, listening to the recitation of the Qur'an at all times from morning to evening, but what about the fate of my freedom, isn't my freedom more important? being able to hang out with a lot of girlfriends is not even uncommon with boy friends, even though I never want to date, but hanging out with a boy friend for me is fun, tips can be able to laugh freely without burden and dependents, well here? let alone hanging out with santri guys, hanging out with fellow girls will not be possible, here is just a place to learn, study, study, continue, worship continues. Really if I have to stay here for a long time I won't stand it. I don't want to stay here forever, my freedom is more important than any of this.