Married to My Own Gus
Fainted
What I feel makes me dizzy myself, a silly little girl forced to, uh fall in love with her own Gus, instead, but what makes me sick is I realize that I will not be able to be loved 'The Perfect'.
In view of it from various points of view, it seems like a girl like me will not be able to match with a perfect creature like Gus Baha' she deserves more than anything else than Me, maybe I can say 'I'm a little girl but self-conscious of who I'm in love with.
I want to be angry with this love, this is my first love but why is it so painful oh should if I can choose better I fall in love with someone ugly, skinny, flat or even loose, which is easier for me to get.
First love for girls is the most special thing, It's really happy, pounding, really fun but, I must be heartbroken to fall in love with 'the perfect' which is very hard for me to get.
I wish I was so high, I want to be married to 'the perfect one, happy together until old age, everywhere holding hands, always full of love and attention, have cute children, and I want to be married, sholih-sholihah, happy continues until old age', love freely fantasized whatever I like.
But I'm trying to live a life in the cottage with mediocrity, normal like other santri wati, I know, I'm heartbroken but I have to be strong, I have to be strong, it's not that I'm used to being friendly with disappointment and expectations that I've made too high.
"You must face Gus Baha'…!" Sari spoke while giving me some money
"What does this have to do?!" I'm the songong do not understand the meaning, it continues why I have to face 'Si perfect'
"Your father is sick, this is money from Gus Baha'.." Sisar hugged me, I know I'm a very good santri, but they still kindly and sincerely pay attention to me
Hearing Father's pain I felt a dark world, no light at all, lonely, silent, I myself, I did not feel my feet stepping on the ground, I felt flying and lost.
"why am I here? why are you all gathered here?" I feel like there's something strange about why all my room's 'friends' seem to be surrounding me.
"is it good now?!" Ustadzah Aini tidied up the blankets attached to my feet and body.
"It's still a little dizzy, and the Ustadzah lemes" I'm honest I don't have any energy at all, and my head feels so heavy.
Turns out I fainted, heard Dad was sick I couldn't bear the sadness, I was immediately limp and sprawled, saw me pass out everyone took me to PUKESTREN, they all cared so much about me, when I woke up, I was so scared, they're still waiting for me, somebody's giving me oil, somebody's massaging my feet, I feel lucky to know them.
"Sleep first, Wulan went to buy some food, later when she comes, we'll wake you up, **Nda..!".
I turned out to need them, I the songong apparently need friends, friends who have proven sincere**.
