Married to My Own Gus

Desired

I feel there is something strange in my heart, I am indeed beautiful, it is evident that many friends of men are always tempting, not even rarely brand openly invites dating, but I always refuse, I always refuse, not feel like a saint but I'm not interested in any of them

To me they are cute friends, some look good but if my heart doesn't like what's wrong?!' I want to be loved just as Dad loves Mom, sincere Love, and so I want to be like Mom loves only one, only Dad is.

Love is present by itself, without being able to be forced, without knowing we have to be gray where, love is sacred, yes, those are the words of my friend first, he said, but I never know what love is? and I don't think I need love, which I know can accept as it is, like I love mom, as sincere as it is.

My mother was orphaned, she was taken care of by her uncle from a small meal fee, school and whatever needs Mother was provided by her uncle, when the teenage mother Mother was told to go to the boarding school, not in the pain when I was hoarding Science in the boarding school, Uncle Mother died, Mother continued the mondok, but I chose to be Khodam in order to mondok free, and hope to get a little barokah from the Ndalem family.

I'm lazy to remember Mom. Not because I hate it, but I don't like it, I don't like to be said crybaby, I can face my problems and my life, maybe sometimes whimpering.

Do I know who I am?? maybe there was a strange vibration when I saw my Gus earlier, whether it was Love or just awe of the beauty of a creature that is so perfect, for me he was perfect from the tip of the foot, to the tip of the head, I did not find any loopholes at all, oh if he were to be my halal partner? but I realized maybe this was just awe, not love.

"Eat it less immediately" A santri spoke beside me.

I sat next to them, I still ate my share, although it's true what the peacock said, this vegetable is not as fresh as usual, almost every day here the menu is a vegetable soup, but even though the vegetable is asem, but I really like it, it tastes fresh, and that certainly does not taste like made by Dad. A bland asem that he said was made especially for me with love, weeeek if I wasn't hungry I would have thrown it in front of Dad, but I still ate it with a forced heart, of course just because I'm hungry.

For me ayur asem very special food is here, why? because almost every day the menu is a vegetable, otherwise, yes sop.biasaya fresh taste today changed, what is this, I continue to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"you are poetic, eat, pack all feelings, hehehe" the santri wearing the green sheath asked

"yes, Gus Baha'. Gus I adore, our idol will all marry How I don't lose hope, like this asem vegetable that has no taste at all".

santri's answer in red was easy, for me she was beautiful, the answer made me immediately shudder, I was shocked by the news that I did not want to hear it. The news that for me also lost hope, I was shocked, although I realize I may not be able to be with Gus Baha', but for me a perfect creature like Gus Baha' must be fought