Married to My Own Gus

Electricity

I feel a little light, I can wake up alone to pray. I was the one who had fainted, and in the care of the santri wati, those who have now started I consider friends, they are all very kind and sincere, but not whole, but not whole, because I still want to get out of here.

"it's time to pray dzuhur, I help.let me take you to the bathroom" Sari brother who faithfully waited for me, embrace and slowly lead me, invite Me to cleanse myself and take ablution.

"Thank you brother" that's all I can say, I'm a little embarrassed by their good treatment but actually I'm a little sick of it too, maybe it's a song soul, need but prestige.

The kindness they did to me, I know they were sincere, and selfless to care for and take care of me.

regulations In the boarding school, Nurul Huda santri wati is obliged to follow the prayer of worship especially for sick santri wati can be lightened to do the prayer alone, but why I feel there is a different, but why I feel there is a different, for me this is not a pleasure, praying alone now tastes bland different jiak praying bersama'ah.elah even though at first I was just pretending, I just pretend, just to actively follow the jama'ah prayer so as not to be punished anymore uh it turns out I now already know the taste, the pleasure of khusyuan that I feel pray together.

Sometimes I feel like I want to change, but it's hard for me to do, I've been doing anything not from my own heart, like I always feel compelled.

"Is it better?!" Sari's sister greeted me when she wanted to take ablution like her.

"Yes, thank you for taking care of me yesterday when I was sick" I couldn't say anything and couldn't give anything, only able to give thanks for Kak Sari and all the other Santri Wati who sincerely take care of me.

"From yesterday I said thank you to Nda, he he he!". Kaka Sari threw a friendly smile

"I can't give you anything brother". I feel a little confused about everything.

"Me and all the Santri Wati who have taken care of you. We are all sincere and do not expect anything from you, we do from the heart, sincere lillahi ta'ala" Sari embraced me with affection.

I feel a warmth that I have rarely felt, never even felt again, since Almh. Mother died I felt lonely, silent even though my affection and attention were never lacking, but I needed a warm hug from a friend.

Some days feel sprawled, I think my money is completely exhausted, I usually rarely snack, I prefer to laze or sleep, when sick everyone tells me to always eat, they are good, loyal, loyal, always buy what I want, tell me to eat a lot but don't be fooled it's not all free, hehe.because they are also as cool as me, have to wait for the monthly rations to come and eat.

"Eating a lot to keep healthy".

"The Spirit may Allah lift up all your diseases and give you health".

It was that spirit and support that made me want to be healthy, eating bitter foods on my tongue, but hearing those that were always well motivated, I follow the spirit and want to get well soon.

Sincere is a sincere feeling, doing anything without self, without wanting to be given any reply and from anyone, sincerely doing sincere only want to be reciprocated by Allah swt.

When I was sick, I remember Dad, just do' and hope that I can say, hopefully Dad will recover soon, all thoughts are seventh to Dad.Who is looking after and accompanying Dad? who sincerely gave food to Dad?.Who meets your needs? ..I'm sad, I'm the girl, the only one but all this time can only trouble Dad, since Mom no Dad is independent, ready all her own needs, even my needs Daddy who fulfilled it, since Mom did not Dad was independent, if you were alive, you wouldn't be lonely.

"The weirdest thing they can be is so good with me" I asked Wulan.

"We here want to be a better person, do whatever is in good faith, we are sincere" Wulan replied without feeling pretentious.

Intention is a supreme worship, whatever is done with the intention will be worth worship, according to the intention that he I mean.

"I feel bad about all the good things you've done to me"

"No need to think strangely". Wulan just smiled flatly.

while I'm here a lot of people care, although I'm a song but they still care a lot, I feel grateful, just grateful not because it's at home, when thinking about Dad. I feel sorry even now I want to go home.

"You were told to face Gus Baha yesterday'.." Wulan reminded me, hearing the wulan say his name why my heart is pounding again, all my whole body there is a flow of lishrik when someone says his name, oh no. Oh God why my love is so big, though my hope of getting it is very small, I am truly self-aware, O God..I've decided to withdraw from the competition for the 'SI Perfect' trophy hehe.sufficientb I give up, but my heart seems to invite Me to war, he does not want Me to lose so for my heart, I'll fight all those beautiful Neng-nengs, but really you know who my opponent is, really I'm ashamed gaess,...I'm a real girl who's ashamed of all those nengs, who are they? lah Me? whoa? but whose soul knows, though I must also prepare to be disappointed, I am ready to be disappointed, for me disappointed with the fate of my best friend, who made Me a little, a little more mature than before.

falling in love is unique, sometimes it feels like electricity, a little tickling, just imagine it is happy, strange..

Is my love wrong, yes I know I'm wrong, but my heart seems to be thrashing, hearing his name alone called I've been like a madman, love can make a crazy person go crazy,