Married to My Own Gus
Episode: 2 Fear
Dad seems so angry with me since yesterday no words came out of Dad's mouth, didn't greet me, usually every day Dad would offer and say "want to eat what?, what do you want to eat?, what was it made for today?, who went to school?, how were the days at school?" all asked Dad, I feel like Dad is a chatty girl who is present in a man's body, so sometimes I'm sick of answering all of Dad's questions, what I'm doing is like he wants to know, I want to talk to Dad "I'm sick of Dad, don't over it to me" but it's just in my heart, I didn't dare to say that in front of Dad.
Every day Dad would talk, talk shitless nerocos, talk about things that are so insignificant to me, I'm lazy to hear Dad talk, I hate Daddy's love that is too over me, too much, I want to be free, play anytime, go home at any hour, hang out with anyone, I'm lazy and sick of living with Dad
"what's it eating yet?!"
"want you to make what special food for today?!"
"don't eat too much chili, your stomach will sting"
"Don't eat late, watch the stomach acid rise, in the care of his health, dear"
"Drink a lot of water, so as not to get dehydrated, it's very hot outside"
"Don't drink a lot of ice, it's not good for health"
All discussed and noticed by Dad, no one is missed. Even eating and drinking, Dad always interfered,
But all that turned around, not with today Dad silent, this is for the first time in my life Dad was indifferent to me, usually mischievous and whatever stupidity I am, Dad will still be kind and attentive to me, Dad will be, I remember when I was sufficed by my teacher for belittling him, being advised I was even angry, I was beaten and I hit his name back Mr. Ustman, the teacher who was notoriously patient but I challenged him instead, I'm down to the principal's office, I'm interrogated there, Dad's called and as usual everything will end up forgiving each other.
I remember that time Principal Dikantor was not just me and Dad there. There was a vice principal, there was a BP teacher, and there must have been that pretentious teacher Alim, the famous teacher never got angry, never hit his pupil, he said, maybe so bad he was with me that made him have to hit me, after everything is sorted out and I'm sure I'm safe again. They always say" You're a good boy, don't be Naughty again ya" wow...Good boy, I'm the baddest boy sir, I don't want to be governed by your ready, I'd love to punch them all that time but whatever my day, I have to submit to today
"Let's eat Dad, I've cooked my first meal, I've made it special for Dad" I'm trying to seduce him, give him the best smile I've got, or maybe it's my first sweet smile for Dad, but Dad just kept quiet and passed by leaving me alone at the dinner table.
all this really turned around and different because usually Dad always smile at me, but I reply ketus, and today I got a check matt Dad, Dad, I know Dad was never angry but this indifferent attitude makes me dizzy.
since childhood, especially after Mother died, Father is my only family, Father is a gentle male figure, never said rude, or angry, I am like the King's daughter. What I want to be sure Dad obeyed, homework I can't do even though I'm a Daughter, Maybe so unfortunately Dad to me, that Dad really wanted to take care of me, protect me.
Today I feel "Father's anger in silence" I just realized Dad is an angel to me, a man who loves all the mischief I make on purpose, but there's actually a side of my heart that wants to cry, but I don't know I can't reveal
I'm telling you to talk, really I feel guilty with Dad and it's been three days Dad's been talking to me a word "Dad, really I asked ma'af, I asked, I'll obey all of Dad's orders and words, whatever they are, I promise" I'm crying in front of Dad and this is my first cry. In front of Father I always show my madness, as if testing my patience and now I am my own, yes My father is the most sincere man to me and loves me the most
"Dad's never been angry with you, son, but I beg you not to be like this, your mother and sister are gone, Dad can also be said to be a respected person in this village, but your behavior, and all your actions, as if you wanted to show everyone your father failed in educating you" My cry grew increasingly broken hearing Father's words, as if my world had collapsed, my pride had vanished, I need Dad turns out
"Father never wanted your mother or your sister dead, they were called by Allah first because Allah loved them more, maybe it was best for them, he said, I feel like you're getting naughty and need some attention after they're gone, son"
yes I changed after the people I loved left me for good, I used to be very obedient, Good boy but it changed after all was gone.
I seemed to better understand what it meant to be sincere, something to be done sincerely and selflessly, I could feel the sincerity of the affection that Father gave me, he who never looked down on me, always attentive, the mischief I made did not discourage the slightest bit of his affection for me.
