Married to My Own Gus
03. FIRST TO THE COTTAGE
A day that was a day that made me tired, not tired from doing household chores, but because I was tired of thinking about my decision on the orders of Father who wanted to put me in the boarding house, but because I was tired of thinking about my decision, although I really do not want to go into the boarding school, but because Dad insisted, it seems like at this time I have to give up.
These few days I'm used to doing housework, from sweeping, cooking, cleaning the kitchen, washing my own clothes and not forgetting Dad's clothes too and all that I'm used to doing, I do, since Dad's strike somehow I feel a little guilty, but I have no regrets at all. I want to stay in my stance.
I know, I'm a rancid, brash kid who's never polite with anyone else, what's the same Dad, I've never been polite to him, never respected him, always fought back, always fought back, refute all of Dad's orders, but usually Dad will remain kind, dear and attentive to me, when I'm wrong like there are thousands of reasons Dad to forgive Me, dear and considerate, giving affection that sometimes I feel sick of, but I don't know since Dad was silent, now I'm the one who changed want affection from him.
sometimes when we are given the opportunity to live with people who love us, loved with sincerity, give us extraordinary attention, sometimes we even waste it, as if we do not need him, he said, but when the one who loves us goes away, it's as if we've lost a precious treasure.
"Well Dad, for now I'm relented, I agree to go downstairs as you wish"
"As much as you are, you are free to decide the direction of your life, I am too saturated to take care of you, I ask you if all this time Dad loves you too much, I also ask ma'af to your mother, it seems like I failed a lot in educating you, Son" Father passed by leaving me alone in the living room, a small room because my house can indeed be said to be a simple house.
Dad is a health Mantri in my village but Dad does not open a practice at home, Dad is more focused on working in health puskesmas with a salary that can be said not much just for daily meals, and my school fees, and, we are not among the rich, and indeed Dad is happy to live a simple life, for Father being a Mantri is a noble task that he can to help others, not set a price
The sky was so bright, the birds seemed to be happy with my decision to go, I thought "What to do at home if Dad stays still, when I'm in the cabin I can make trouble again, I'm afraid, maybe Dad's gonna tell me to go home, that's a good idea" I thought, maybe Dad's gonna be angrier but I'm gonna figure out what else to do later, at least now I feel safe.
The atmosphere was so peaceful, so soothing and the initial thought set my foot on the cottage, I was feeling a bit nervous, wanting to return home but I was more afraid that would happen at home, she said, surely Dad will strike again and it makes me even more confused to make it, maybe if Dad angry to say whatever he wants I'm a little relieved because it won't last long, maybe, than Dad just shut up noiselessly at me.
"This is my son sir yai, I leave him to mr. yai. I really hope she can understand religion, be a really sholikhah woman, be a better person, not like now" Dad spoke politely to Mr. Yai who I think is very old, but still healthy and fit, and looks very well mannered by always smiling when talking to Dad.
"God who governs everything, in this world there is no power and strength that comes from man, no man can bring benefits or madlorot all from Allah SWT, God SWT, man is only as a mediator in all endeavors and affairs, we as human beings are obliged to try, only able to try but God determines everything" Mr. Yai's advice is a little bit like defending me but I'm sure he's not defending me, his knowledge must be very high
Pak yai is named KH. Anwar maulana, he looks very old, his hair has also changed a lot of color, but he looks healthy and fit, Pak yai it has made me a little amazed, with his courtesy accept us, with good manners, always smiling while talking, with more knowledge than us, but he did not look arrogant at all, still treating us with courtesy and friendly, maybe that which is called Akhlaqul karimah is better than just a science without manners, my admiration for him is a little, just a little, because I mondok this for the sake of the intention that Dad is not silent, indifferent and I have been very tired of facing the attitude of Dad, when sir yai biacara there is always a beautiful smile, his knowledge is extensive but there is no sense of patronizing or wise-witted advising, his speech is relaxed but really shows his scientific class, it deserves a lot of santri, he said, what I know when I just entered the pesantren cottage complex earlier.
the two men were Dad and Pak yai talking who looked very serious. I dare to see them talk. I stared at it normally, probably because my song soul was far above average, crazy and like a shameless brat as possible. While Dad was talking to the yai sir, Dad was always down, talking very softly and politely but there was a strange sight, sometimes I saw Dad wiping tears, and sometimes I saw him, Am I so naughty and songongnya to make Dad cry when the story about me to pak yai who is very famous Alim, maybe but I don't know I don't feel guilty in the slightest, there is no regret in my heart
Dad told me and explained to me, if you call Home for yai it is commonly called Ndalem. In silence I spoke with my own heart "I don't care Dad, whatever it is to me it's home" but of course it's just in my heart, I wouldn't dare to show you the song now, I could have been brought home now and kept quiet Dad for days, just imagine that I'm here, really I don't want to have to experience it again. I'm like a dead flea facing Dad now, until I just according to what he said.
Only five hundred and twenty thousand, maybe Dad has no money anymore, he is only a Village Mantri, of course the money is not much.
"It's over after Dad paid for everything, Dad came home first, all right here, his intentions are in good order. Intention to find a lot of knowledge, which is good, polite as all friends and teachers, especially polite to Mr. Yai, is on guard, do not song in front of knowledgeable people, who are knowledgeable, you will be ashamed yourself. May you change, kakhlaqul karimah. I love you so much, son" I kissed my veil. There was a sense of warmth and sincerity within her. I feel like Dad is so happy to let me go here, maybe he's relieved to be free from me. A child who can't boast at all.
I saw Dad leave me, stay away, but I don't care, it's Dad I won't be here for long, my song soul is back on the line.
Although I was songong and urakan, But I never let go of my hijab, when I went to school from Elementary School to the first major I always wear hijab, said Almh. The mother I always remember.
After I made trouble at school, it is normal as usual, everything will be fine. They always forgave my mistakes, either because they felt sorry for me, as orphans, or because they were sorry for the Mantri Father, who often helped them without any reward. But Dad said he'd put me in and take me to the boarding school "NURUL HUDA". And here I am now, but this is only my own time just to fool Dad and I'm sure it's only temporary, hahahaaha
"This is your room deck, carefully guarded his belongings well" said my upperclassman named Nur.
Kak Nur who looks beautiful, although with a rather full body and skin tends to be brown, but because of his very polite attitude makes me prefer to obey him rather than showing my song soul.
I was tired on the way to the cottage. I chose to sleep even though with a little awareness I heard that the santri was already noisy to perform a ritual that seemed obligatory for them, namely prayer jama'ah.
Let them be busy with their work. I don't care, anyway I'm still the new Santri Wati, they must be hesitant to wake me up. I prefer to sleep, and just sleep, for me I have the right to sleep because I'm TIRED.
In a semi-conscious dream I felt like someone was trying to wake me up. His body was rocking and a voice sounded
"Sholat dek.ayo pray, we pray jama'ah" I guess because I'm still the new Santri Wati. I can be as free as I please, make my own rules as I please. But it's not that easy. Kak Nur again.oh no, somehow because of his dignity and his loving attitude I feel melted with him, although rather forced I go to the place of ablution to follow the prayers of worshipers.
What will you do at the cottage? have I been insyaf, will not song again? or even make a noise? What do I do, I still have a lot of discourses that can get me out of the cottage?.
