Blue Rose
Meaning of Loss
Sepi is when I don't find you anywhere.
Silence is when there is only me without you.
Then, should I shout at the world if I have lost you?
---
Rey lied if she was ordinary. Rey is lying if nothing changes from her. Although he shared a laugh with Bagas and Bagus, the fact was that there was an invisible hole in his heart. Holes that not only create pain, but also deep emptiness.
“New home Rey?” greet Randy as his son passes through the lounge. The man was looking at a tablet containing financial statements.
“Iya, Pah.” Rey then approached her father who was sitting on the single sofa. “Papa not sleeping?”
“How will Papa sleep, if Papa's child has not come home?” Randy's statement calmly conveyed was similar to a subtle allusion to Rey. The hour hand is almost at 23:00, so it's only natural that Randy is worried. Especially this past week his son more often went home late.
“Sorry Pa, I gathered at basecamp.”
Randy looked at his son's face, as a single parent he realized something was going through. Broken heart the term child today, in the process of moving on.
Randy stood up, faced with his son's tall body. “You know, son, separation is an inevitability. In the end everyone will part ways, either because of distance or death.”
Did Rey ever say that Randy can know everything, including what he has to do with now. And it feels no need to ask for a line of advice sentences that are intended for what and who.
“What Papa knew before?”
Randy put one hand in his pants pocket. “A father will always pay attention to every move of his son Rey, including his association.”
“So, that's why Papa applied for terms?” The conditions proposed by Randy can not just be called mere coincidence, right?
Randy nodded. “Papa trying to do his best. After all this age of yours the heart is still easy to turn.”
“Papa will never know the depth of one's feelings, Pah.”
“But Papa is more experienced than you Rey. And as a child you know, right, who to devote to?” Randy patted his son's shoulder.
For a moment they looked at each other, Rey sighed. “Of course, Pa.”
The father and son threw smiles at each other.
***
When the longing is getting stronger, when the desire to meet fiercely crashing, sometimes the body is only able to follow. Rey turned the steering wheel of the car, opposite the direction of the campus. He walked the path he had memorized.
The car stopped in the yard of a house that looked deserted. Rey couldn't control the pounding of her crazy heart when she set foot there. Take a slow step towards the terrace of the house. A few minutes the man just stood looking at the door, fighting with my heart, should he knock or not.
His hand was just outstretched about to knock when the door opened from the inside, Rey's heart slipped when she saw the person standing in front of her.
“Kiky!” He did not get it wrong, the man with the grey shirt and the knee-length loose pants was indeed Kiky Wiratama. Looks messy with disheveled hair and will be a beard that is not shaved.
“Ngapain lo?” todong Kiky's.
“Lo what is here?” Suddenly Rey's mind was filled with unnatural things, the young man barged in without being asked. Check the state of the house that looks quiet. Rey shakes her head. There was no sign of any other creature there.
“Lo nyari what?” Kiky's voice made him look.
“Where is Selly and her mother?”
Kiky snorting. “She said dear but don't know where Selly.” is
“Gue no need to guess right now,” decak Rey, “Lo hide them?” the accusation.
Kiky. “If I could have done it before Rey.” The young man looked up.
“It means...” Rey could not continue his words.
“They go.” Kiky made it clear. “Without pamit. Without trace.”
Both of them were silent, permeating the sense of loss inflicted by the same person. Rey thought that even though they were no longer together at least she could see the girl from afar, channeling her longing even though it was only through face-to-face. Rey thinks at least they can be friends, though Rey sanctions to be like a friend to Selly. Rey thinks she shouldn't really lose the girl like this.
Wiping his face, Rey walked straight to the door. His feet were floating, not on the floor. Moreover, his heart seemed to be partially lost.
“Rey!” His steps came to a halt in the doorway, when Kiky mentioned his name. “If there is anything I can change in this world, then it is to prevent Selly from meeting you.”
Rey did not look back, nor did she reply. The young man brought his feet out of the house. If there was anything Rey could change, then it was not agreeing to the terms of her father.
