Blue Rose
Nightmare
Nightmare
The nightmare is when you find out that you were unwanted to be born into the world?
*
“*Authorized child ..”
“Authoric child!”
“Authoric child!”
Hordes of children circled a girl in a red and white uniform, cheering her on as an illegitimate child by surrounding her while clapping their palms. Similar to the triumphant yel-yel, the group of children raised a voice cheerfully.
While the little girl looked down inside. A black mane on his back, dangling down, hid the girl's reddened face. The skinny hand gripped tightly at the end of his backpack rope, looking for reinforcement.
Once he tried to crash the body into the blockade that formed the circle, but there he actually slammed backwards. Unable to resist the overwhelming urge of a bunch of kids of different ages who are on average bigger. Then they would laugh, when the little girl hurt her elbow.
Learning from experience, he chose silence. Let them be satisfied and go alone. Or if you're lucky, there'll be heroes who save them, drive them away.
“Hey, what are you doing?” hardik boy in the same uniform. Breaking through the circle-shaped fortress with one push, then thrusting in, covering the body of the little girl with her body. Make yourself a shield.
“Go you! Don't bother him!” He moved both hands like a wave, driving them away.
“What are you doing Ky, nolongin he mulu?” said Dino, a child of fertile bodies.
“You guys who do disturbin Selly mulu?” kiky said firmly, undaunted even if only alone.
“You still want to be friends with an illegitimate child?” dino asked along with a ridiculing laugh from the others.
Kiky looked at the little girl behind him. “Selly is not an illegitimate child.”
“Tell my mother she doesn't have a father means she's an illegitimate child.”
At first, the little girl lived peacefully. He went to school like any other child, even though he was never delivered. Although always the mother who took the report card. But she was happy, leaving with a cheerful smile, playing with blaring laughter. Especially since he had one loyal friend. Kiky Wiratama's.
But since 5th grade, out of nowhere at first, I don't know who started it, the stamp of illegitimate children seems to buy. Follow every movement and footstep.
“Mother, what's that bastard?” the question is with the woman who has been with him since he was a child. They lived together, in a simple house, without the presence of a burly male figure. There are also no relatives who visit. They are all gone, her mother said as Selly asked about her father and relatives.
The woman was surprised to hear her daughter's question, so she took the child to sit on the living room sofa and TV viewing room.
“Where do you know that name from, son? Who said that?”
“Friends of Selly, almost all make fun of Selly with that designation.” The girl replied in a hoarse voice, remembering the treatment of her friends.
Being swallowed by a spit of spit, he knew that Selly would hear this one day. But she did not expect, if that day would arrive this soon. 10 years old, it was still too ordinary for her daughter to know. It is still too early to describe the strange life that has been passed.
“Bu.” Selly's tiny hand touched Dita's wet cheek. “Kok Mother crying?” Unknowingly, the woman shed tears.
Selly frowned, not understanding her mother's question, after all she herself had not gotten an answer. “Selly doesn't like to be made fun of, Mom,” the answer is lethargic.
Dita's heart feels sliced to hear Selly's words. He knew that feeling, he understood being an ostracized person. It's just that Selly's age is still too young.
Now how should he explain to his daughter? Telling of his great sin is clearly impossible. Confessing that he used to be a caliph, giving the most valuable crown for a woman to a man who had not even legally touched his body. How's Selly gonna understand?
He saw the iris of the baby, brown marble was like a coil of thread that brought him to remember someone. Forcing Dita to explore space and time. Imprisoned the pale-white woman on one face with a similar net.
The one who took part formed Selly. Also the person who should have been there when Selly was born into the world. But, Dita was too cowardly, letting the man lurch away to pursue his mind, without knowing there was love that had been sown. A living love. Dita chose to be a super-ass, acting as both mother and father. Silence on family interrogation, to be kicked from the palace should be.
“Who is the father of the child you bear?”
“Who's Dita? Who?”
The words came back to his head. Speech of someone who is highly respected, but must be hurt so in the actions of his son.
Sobs escaped from Dita's lips that trembled withstanding the roar. His chest was tight, like a big rock. In the name of love for Selly's biological father, she ignores the love her daughter needs.
“Bu ..” Selly's lips trembled, powerless to resist the urge to cry.
“Sorry Mom, Son ... Sorry Mom.”
The fact is Dita can't keep Selly completely. He may be able to replace the breadwinner, meet his daughter's needs, including school. But Dita alpa became a true protective figure. Her maternal gentle instinct could not match the pawning instinct of a father. No matter how she is a woman, she will never be the same as a man.
Just now Dita's hand was about to reach the tiny body of the girl beside her, when a knock almost sounded like a double shaking the door of the house. The voice boisterous people, asking Dita out, some spill the oath of absorbency.
Dita opens the door with Selly behind her back. The more obvious the chirping of dozens of heads in front of the eyes, roaring, unpretentious, like a flock of bees ready to sting.
“Get him out of this village!”
“Do not make our region a perverted place!”
“Expire him!”
“Egypt!”
Like dejavu, the woman went back to experiencing it. Similar expulsions were felt years ago. When her stomach starts to bulge, when people question the man who should be responsible for her pregnancy.
“You don't want to have a child who smears the family name like you.”
“Starting at this second, there is no more Dita Maharani name in this family!”
“Go from our home!”
The mother and son left, leaving the residence with disrespect. Looking for another place that has absolutely no trace of the past. Close the old page and start writing a new story.
Since then, Selly has never touched on the term that is reluctant to be heard again. Time and maturity that make him understand about the identity. Time is also what makes the girl understand what her position in society is*.
