Angan

Marathons

Azan had been reverberating, as usual, it was always Toni who first woke up, and when she opened her eyes, she was on her alphabet.

"Away awake?" I asked as I sat on the side of the bed.

I nodded and straightened my hair.

"Do you want to pray together?" tanyakanya.

I nodded and went to the bathroom.

For the first time, we were together, priest and mum. And for the first time, my heart was at ease hearing the chanting of the sacred verse it read.

When I finished, I kissed the back of her hand, she kissed my forehead, and hugged me.

There was a strange feeling coming back.

Yeah, I don't know what that is.

"We're a marathon. We will shop later. Okay. I want to try your new bike" he said as he folded his prayer mat and put down his coffee.

"get ready, I'll wait ahead."

I smiled and followed her request. I haven't had a marathon in a long time, since the departure of Bang Romi which I've now found the riddle of her disappearance. Although my breathlessness remembered him, I tried sincerely. Although my love is only a wish for him, but I will plant that love in my deepest heart. And I will continue the love that is in Toni.

I wiped my tears.

I cannot continue my love for him.

"Yu.. is it done?" tanyakanya.

Quickly I washed my face, somehow I didn't want Toni to see the rest of my grief.

I came out of the room with a smile.

The man was already wearing sportswear, handsome. It was the first word that came out when I saw it that morning.

"Your hat" Toni put the hat on and straightened my hair.

I feel like I did this with the late bang Romi.

"Come on," and then Toni pulled my hand out of the house. The motor was removed from the garage.

Toni put a helmet on my head.

"Sorry, but let me cry for a moment" I said in tears.

Toni didn't say much, she gave her chest to where I was crying.

"Already, Yu. Later the neighbors said, we fight again" he said teasing me, and I smiled.

I got on that bike, and Toni put both my hands on her flat chest.

That field, it seems like I've been here for a marathon, I see my surroundings, even though it's been almost 3 years, I remember this place, I've always been here with bang Romi. And it turns out this field is close to his family's house.

My feet are stepping along the length of this marathon track. And all along, Toni did not let go of my hand.

Tired of me not because of running, but the memories were immediately out of my memory that made me claustrophobic.

"Ton, can we get out of here. I'm not strong anymore" without his permission, I ran around and out of the field to my bike.

"Are you Ok?" he asked while wiping his sweat.

"No" I replied briefly.

"Why, we go there yok, while buying a drink" he asked while holding my hand.

"Sit down" he said softly.

"Tell me what happened"

No. I won't tell him. I don't want to disappoint him.

I shook my head.

Trying to break my heart.

"I know, it must be because of my late brother, right?"

I'm speechless. Him, he knows.

"I don't expect you to forget it, but I ask, please let him go. Maybe if he wasn't my brother, I'd be so jealous of him. But, this, he's my own brother. I can't be selfish and forbid you to cry. But can you keep that cry just for me." she kept holding my hand.

I saw his brown eyes, though,

Can I love him?