Aara is Not Lara

Kwetiau Bearer Cinta

Seepage of tears without command of freefall of both eyes closed. Not once or twice Ara slumped in erratic grief. The brain that felt empty in confusion was unable to withstand the buzzing sounds in Ara's ears. Like being squeezed in the middle of a riot, Ara's ears caught all the undefined echoes.

Suddenly Rava's smiling face filled Ara's eyes. But alas a thousand dear flashes of sweetness as fast as lightning turned into a God and Hans who ignored Ara pitifully.

Hugging her knees and drowning her face between her knees, Ara started sobbing. Afraid of the sweet memories that Rava carved for just a moment. Afraid that if he drops his heart on Rava, the story with Hans will repeat itself. How Hans's love that melts Ara makes her enslaved by feelings that are interpreted as love and its smell just crashing.

All the irregular flashes twisted continuously in Ara's closed eyes. Rubbing with all his might also did not obliterate the shadow of the disdainful laughter on Hans' handsome face. It was as if the laughter had also turned on Rava's face which made Ara absolutely crazed, depressed and extremely scared. Even the rebellious hull could not awaken Ara from her troubled mind.

Sometimes people are better at giving others advice than themselves. Evidently after wisely Ara told Yuki to cry as much as possible after the stomach was full, in fact Ara was devastated with tears with the stomach wrapped around.

"Why if when I have been steady equal footstep with Mas Rava continues he changed direction?? What if our footsteps are not for the same purpose? What if we were with him when he realized there was another better woman, who did not hurt like me and was more worthy to be with him?? How am I supposed to do if all this happens??" Channeling her pain with a small bite on her left wrist, Ara felt a terrible pain in her veins.

"I beg.. Get out of my memory, Hans.. Our memories hurt. Please get out of my head." The fingers from both hands Ara squeezed rough until several strands of hair were broken on the sides of the fingers. Old memories that had been buried as if dancing laughed at the fragility of Ara.

"Lord, please make me lose my memory. I always hoped that when we met I was done with my taste, but why is it still painful even after letting go??"

"Why am I sad again??" Looking up, Ara looked at the moon hiding behind the black clouds. "I was already well.. Why is it sick again??"

"I want to die like that." Rise clutching balcony guardrail. An empty gaze penetrated to the bottom of the ground. The entire nerves of Ara's body were no longer under his control. Both hands that were firmly resting with the weight of the body were trying to climb the guardrail.

A little tiptoe, Ara's right foot was already treading the top of the fence. The sound of laughter that cheered Ara like a cheerleader of a high school basketball team was already crazed. Ara's head was filled with all the whispers and urge to try new things.

......Jump......

......Jump......

......You'll be happy......

......There I was there......

......Come......

......Jump and release your load......

......Jump Ara......

......Happily forever......

......Jump......

Drrt.. Drrt..

The tring!!

Notification of messages vibrating Ara's phone. But the vibrations from the phone lying helplessly on the cold floor did not bother Ara in the slightest. As if God was trying to thwart Ara's borderline behavior, his phone this time rang out loud incessantly. The sound of an incoming call came knocking on Ara's hearing door.

Drrt.. Drrt.. Drrt..

Not a single day has passed where I'm not missing you here

Not a single year has gone where I'm not missing you dear

My heart breaks the more that you're gone

I'm still missing you right here, missing you my dear

...

(BTOB - Missing You (English Version))

"God.. What am I doing??" Ara realized with the position has occupied the balcony fence. Ara's feet dangled to the exit side and inside the balcony terrace. The hand that was gripping firmly was slightly shaking.

The sound of a disgruntled cell phone ringing finally teased Ara. Still with a soft ringtone, Ara grabbed her phone. The round eyeballs blinked slowly.

📞Call Login Mas Rava

"Well.." Harsh breath that is full of anxiety.

"Not a thing?" Biting her thumb nail, Ara was still in a dilemma to touch the green icon.

"Hello?" Finally, Ara chose to receive a phone call from Rava.

[Hello Ra.. Did you sleep earlier??] The regular right leg beats that Ara was unable to see were neutralizing her nervousness. It had been two missed calls that Rava thought Ara was ignoring him.

"Yes, it's." Said Ara lying. It was not Ara's goal to be dishonest, but her brain's response was faster to say yes.

[I'm sorry if I interrupted your time.] Rubbing his nape, Rava regretted enough to have interrupted Ara's break time.

"It's okay. What's up, Mas?" Ask Ara casually. His tongue was already quite good at pinning the 'Mas' call on Rava.

[I miss.] Rava lirih. Biting her lower lip, Rava was already hot cold. Not the first time the expression missed was spoken, but still always makes Rava super nervous.

Silent.

[I miss you Ra.. Now I really want to see you, but my schedule is here.] Sighing in a rough breath, Rava raised his head. The left arm closed the pair of Rava eyes. The stillness filled with the breath of Rava that began to regularly make Ara awkward.

"Hm." Ara was confused as to what else to answer. Everything still feels foreign to him. It felt very strange for Ara who was used to fighting on her own, not being fought like Rava was treating her.

[I miss you Ra.] Rava getir. There was a sense of tightness as he was constantly on the side of the road opposite to Ara. Stepping alone chasing Ara who felt constantly away. It was certainly more painful than Ara who did not know her feelings.

"Yes." Yeah." Answer Ara briefly. Ara kelu's tongue. His lips wanted to say something, but the brain that was instantly empty was only able to survive in confusion.

[You didn't take a shower last night, did you?] Switching the conversation, Rava understood Ara who was starting to get uncomfortable. Let him endure the overflowing taste, Rava thought.

"No, no." Putting herself on the bed, Ara said softly. A smile was engraved clearly on Ara's beautiful face. As if there was a sprinkling of almonds and Belgian chocolate in her mouth cavity, Ara was happy. The small thing that can touch the recesses of Ara's heart with the refraction of light forms a rainbow. If Rava could see that smile, maybe his broken heart would be gone.

[Have you eaten that too?] Ask Rava again.

"mmm.. Not yet." This time I tried to be honest. His brain and lips are already a solid team.

[Why? You want what? Let me order from here.] Looking at and frowning astonished Ara stared at the wild-goal of Rava's name that was plastered on her phone.

"Seriously??" Ask Ara full of doubt. Rava may offer something, but he is not in one city with Ara.

[Yes, what do you want?? Tell me I'll make the order.] Rava said seriously. Rava's mind was already full of names that he would make a special courier for Ara.

"Where do you want to order??" Ara asked again with still shrouded in doubt.

[On the app or not I can phone where I usually order food.] Answer Rava quickly. His fingers are busy scrolling the phone screen looking for various food messages between which Ara would like.

"Mm.." Eyes that snort not because of resentment let alone anger are busy thinking. The forehead is wrinkled and the eyebrows are almost linked still not able to choose a variety of dishes that revolve like a super-powered ringleader.

[Do not be afraid if you want something.. I'd be very happy if you wanted to ask me.] The sentence strands from Rava's low voice made Ara's soul cheer in excitement.

'Kwetiau goreng kayaknya delicious..' Swallowing her saliva, Ara was imagining a pack of fried kwetiau from her subscription place.

[You want some fried food?? I order that? A peanut cheese toast too??] Screaming stifled in the heart, Ara stood up instantly. The impromptu telepathy has been successfully delivered flawlessly seamless.

"Maauu.." Ara replied excitedly, unconsciously her body had already jumped into pleasure.

[You must be really funny right now.. Argh!! I want to meet.] Rava's voice sounded spoiled in Ara's ears. If Rava was 10 years younger than Ara, he would have been bitten. Rava is 12 years older than Ara. Underline the word adult, not old. Don't make Rava more sensitive.

"What the hell!?" Said Ara ketus, half covering her embarrassment. Both sides of the cheeks heated up which met red was squeezed by Ara's phone and left hand.

[So want to fry the same toast? Don't want anything else?]

"If you can add eggs??" Cicit Ara. Blame Rava for continuing to offer Ara food, so it is not Ara's fault that Rava's money is drained.

[There again?] Again Rava's speech almost teased Ara. Really weak Ara on good food. Just as the same genetic traits are declining in Ara and Rian. It seems that Ara never self-conscious latai Rian the weak on food, in fact, now Ara barely know shame.

"No, that's enough." Ara said steadily, she must withstand the turmoil of wanting another food again. Not hungry stomach or hungry eyes, but Ara was facing a hunger of wishful thinking. It was very dangerous when the word 'like delicious' appeared on Ara's head.

[Yes, wait a minute.]

"okay." Ara kept her phone away. There was silence from the call.

Five minutes passed and the call connection from Rava had not been turned off, although the slightest sound of Rava was not heard anymore. While Ara was currently busy rolling under the covers. Feeling clueless about turning off calls without saying goodbye.

[Hello?] Eyes almost closed suddenly opened wide. Snatching the phone that had deliberately activated its loudspeaker, Ara gurgled in reply.

"Ha-Hello? Huh??" Said Ara in a sitting position.

[Haha.. Long time is it me? Are you sleeping again?]

[Haha.. The reason.] Rava. Staring at the beautiful night sky from the inn room, there was a shadow of Rava hugging Ara in the middle of the moon. Flirting slowly, Rava erased the ludicrous delusion.

[Bec.]

"Yes, why??"

[His call was redirected to the video want Ra?] The sentence asked Rava full of supplications. Leaning his tired body on the window sills while his finger tapped in rhythm with his heartbeat.

"Why?" Ask Ara riled.

[I miss.] So many more times Rava uttered the sentence of longing.

"Ck!!" Unknowingly Ara clucked. Ara is not upset or lazy on Rava, according to him the video call is not comparable to a pack of kwetiau and toast that will reach his home. That spontaneous decak was precisely the response of shame on his grungy face.

[Wouldn't you?] Disappointed Rava getting answers limited to decak is not clear.

"Udah ugly face.. Don't wanna.." Grunts Ara.

[Beautiful though. Who said ugly?] Smiling sweetly, Rava breathed a sigh of relief his efforts could still be fought for.

"I don't know very well." Singing her lips, honestly Ara was already quite blushing.

[Changed huh?? Just a moment Ra.. Promise until the kwetiau until just keep the phone finished let you calm down to eat it.]

"Hm.. Okay." Okay." Answer Ara briefly. There was no point in Ara rejecting Rava's trivial request either.

In an instant, the phone turned into a video call. But strangely not the face of Ara that Rava first saw, the photo of a foreign man filling the side of the room walls Ara surprised Rava. Bursting outwards in Rava trying to neutralize his hardened face.

[Where are you?] Said Rava who was caught off guard with a smile that he wanted to shred.

"Awhile.." Pointing the phone screen at her face, Ara cleared her throat for a moment. Awkwardness must be looking at Rava, even this is the first time for both of them in a new situation.

[It's beautiful.] Rava said honestly. There was no temptation in Rava's words, all sincere from the bottom of his heart.

"What the hell!!? It also used to be the same powder as lipstick." Covering her timid face with a blue blanket, Ara wanted to sink to the bottom of the mattress.

[Then don't hide Ra.. I don't want to see you.." Pouting and resentfully making up, Rava whined at Ara. It's so cute.

"Udah." Ara replied ketus and still did not stare at Rava, but at least the beautiful face was free from the blanket.

"Diem's cigarette?" Inevitably Ara stared at the mobile screen where Rava's face was smiling brightly. Frowning astonished Ara at Rava's behavior.

"Mas Rava!!"

[Hm.]

"Cok so diem anyway?? What else to do?" Ara asked annoyedly, she was already very restless erratically.

[I want to look at you as much as possible, although I will never be able to be satisfied.] Rava's thumb rubbed slowly Ara's face plastered on her phone screen. There is a desire to kiss the cheek that increases cabi because it bulges due to annoyance. Rava again shook his head expelling the mischievous thoughts that were milling around in his brain.

"Out lizard, gecko, reptile." Cela Ara shrieked with piercing lips. The lazily rotated eyeballs cast a glance in all directions. Rava was clearly still able to hear Ara's curse which actually sounded beautiful in his ears. Basic bucin acute level that can no longer be helped.

The sound of the motor entering the courtyard of the house was faintly heard until Ara's room. Running fast towards the balcony, Ara could see the figure of the food deliveryman.

"Udah's coming.." A bright smile and a small jump, Ara seemed to forget there was still Rava watching from the phone screen.

[Little things like this have made you smile.. Next time you want anything to say to me, will Ra? Whatever you want I will try to get.] Rava said seriously.

"It's not good to keep asking."

[Look so good that you're my wife.] Said Rava casually which in fact requires a beating heart that almost missed.

Choosing not to answer, Ara was about to go down to greet her food. Not even his hand touched the door knob had appeared knocking from the opposite direction.

Tok

Tok

Tok

"Sister??" Rian's voice sounded.

Chequelek

"Kwetiau right??" Ara said happily.

"Yes.. Tumben Sister bought a lot.."

"Much??"

"Yes, much. Kwetiau 5 packs, martabak eggs 3 boxes equal to 2 packs of toast. Usually you don't buy that much." Flipping her eyes, Ara glanced at the sweet-smiling Rava across there.

"Little star goes down first.. Later Brother will follow."

"Make it first??" Rian asked with a twinkle of supplication. Nodding her head in a short answer, Ara was immediately rewarded with a kiss on the cheek.

Never thought Rava would buy a lot of food not only for her, but for her one-person house. Though the intention of Ara's heart will divide a pack of fried kwetiau with Jona and Rian.

While Rava who was presented with a sweet kiss scene Rian was very jealous. Only then did Rian, who was clearly Ara's younger brother, somehow become like another foreign male who treated Ara like that.

"Bag.." Call Ara slowly.

[Yes.. Turn off the phone. Eat first there same people home huh.. Don't eat late again tomorrow. If you want something to say directly to me.]

Ending that long phone call, Ara had already galloped over to her evening meal. A very familiar aroma disturbs the sense of smell of Ara. Back screaming stuck in the heart when you find all the food from his favorite place.

...****************...

Returning to the story at the end of the previous chapter and at the beginning of this chapter, it can be seen that Ara is experiencing one of the symptoms of PTSD, which is more emotional. Where the emotions that come suddenly can not be controlled.

The deep sadness supported by the trauma condition made Ara dissolve in sadness and cry for no apparent reason. In addition, the cry of Ara is more expressing fear and anxiety.

Symptoms of PTSD in general:

Worriedly,

Worrying, worrying,

Easily angry, easily,

More emotional, though,

Shortness of breath,

Nausea to vomiting, though,

Sweating in an excessive capacity.

The more serious stage is the desire to hurt yourself which of course must be consulted by a doctor.

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Will love emerge from a pack of fried kwetiau?🤭

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How uwu so much Rava to Ara, when did Hana anyone watch that??😌 (now so sad ending 😕)

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Thank you for reading Ara's story and for supporting Hana🥰