The Ultimate Soulmate's

A Letter to You

After believing that I had fallen asleep, Junghwa slowly laid me down on the bed. Slowly, he moved away. Secretly the young Jeon went to Yongju's apartment. From the corner of his memory, he had seen the same little piano as the one in the video earlier, in his sister's studio in this apartment. Sure enough, a brown piano was displayed on one side of this room he had just opened. Junghwa also walked towards the small piano that had not been used for a long time. Junghwa opened the cover cloth and had time to play the piano which turned out to still function properly even on the white jade keyboard, dust piled on top of it. Really, a neglected appearance.

Suddenly Junghwa's attention shifted to a large screen surrounded by an audio system mounted on the wall of the modern minimalist studio. Junghwa recalled, Yongju once told him his computer password while teaching him how to make songs. Junghwa also pranks open the computer hyung. Unexpectedly, he instead also found a file with his name written on it. Junghwa opened it, then started crying alone. He even covered his face with both hands. Apparently, in the file titled "For Junghwa", Yongju has made some new songs for his sister. Moreover, there is a short note tucked in between, which tells how proud he is to have a sister like Junghwa, despite having just known him.

Unable to hold tightness in his chest, young Junghwa intends to leave the room. While stepping out, his hand reached into the pocket of his jacket to look for the key of his motorcycle. Yoke! An object fell out of the same pocket as he pulled out the key. Junghwa picked it up, then recalled that while in the hospital last night, he found a paper in the pocket of the jacket Yongju was wearing at the time of the accident. Previously, because he was busy he did not have time to check it. Now, curiosity made him unfold the folds of paper in his hand. Only the first two lines of writing in it were read by him, Junghwa re-folded it and re-inserted it into his jacket pocket.

Worried about standing in the middle of the apartment, Junghwa finally decided to leave, returning to my house. The plan is, he wants to see me tomorrow. However, when the sport bike entered my yard, he changed his plan when he saw my figure standing on the porch of my room. "What's he doing there?" he said while parking his bike. Then glanced at his watch, "astaga, it's 4 in the morning!" he shouted, then came back to see me. "Oh my God, don't tell me he wants to jump out of there!" he said as he took off his helmet and started running into my room.

Czechoslovakia! Junghwa opened my room door with his hunting breath. Then, he immediately breathed a sigh of relief after seeing me who had also returned into the room. "What's wrong with you?" I asked, surprised to see it. While breathing, "It's okay. No need, ignore me" said Junghwa. "Where from? I saw you just came," I asked. "Oh, from.." he said to have stopped when he did not want to mention Yongju's name in front of me. "I was just walking" he continued, lying. "Until dawn?" I said with suspicion. "Noona herself, what is noona doing standing on the porch at blind dawn like this?" his reply. "none. I just woke up, then came out looking for a fresh breeze, just like you said. It turned out, it was very cold outside" I replied with a small smile.

I turned myself back, "now, I want to go back to sleep. So, go to your room and get some sleep!" expirku. "Well," said Junghwa, turning around and intending to leave my room. At the door, he opened it again. "Did noona's feelings improve now?" tanyanya doubt. I still did not answer, just looked at him. "Actually, there's something I want to give," he said, coming back to me. "Sorry, I opened it because I wanted to know what it was. But when I read it "for Hana", I didn't read it," he continued, putting the piece of paper on my nightstand. Later, Junghwa said, "Please, read it quietly. I'll wait outside. If noona needs me, just call me."

Just with curiosity, my hands began to unfold the white paper. However, as both of my eyes recognized the owner of the writing inside, my heart slowly began to beat in an ungodly manner. "For Hanaku.." it was written in the corner of the letter in my hand, just as Junghwa had said. The date that was written yesterday. My tears did not come back, falling on Yongju's last letter. With trembling hands, I opened the sheet of paper and began to read it.

"For Hanaku... Today, I suddenly wanted to write a long letter to you, just because the moon is shining brightly tonight. Actually to me, when compared to the radiance of your beauty, the moon will not be brighter than you. Unfortunately, these few days, Hanaku did not shine. To the extent that it feels, I have to light a small candle to just look at your pretty face. You really look gloomy, Hana!"

"I remember, it was the day of my death. That night, I, who was only 6 years old, cried alone in the dark garden. Suddenly I heard the sound of ugly birds singing, bothering me to cry. Inside the house, you were crying out loud, looking for me. Without being summoned, I came and directly carried you, calming you down. "Oh, you, Hana. Why are you crying? Relax, you're not alone. There's an oppa here. You and oppa will always be together and oppa will never leave you forever" I said as I patted your little back. I said it myself by crying."

"I forgot a little bit, maybe I was about 14 when I started to realize that I liked you not just as my sister. At that time, I was burned by adolescence. Yeah, the days when I couldn't see an inch of you in front of me, I was pounding. Really, it's a feeling that makes me awkward, Hana. Moreover, I know, a sister should not like her own sister. For 4 years I kept it quiet, kept it in my heart, pressured it not to grow. But you're saying the same thing to me. It's as if you're watering her buds with hope."

"It's wrong and it can't happen, I thought at the time. With pride, I decided to leave you, deciding on that hope. I'm going on without you myself. Slowly, try to live by forgetting those forbidden feelings as soon as possible. However, even though the sunrise has already passed hundreds of times, even though I was gone for a long time, even when I tried to push you away, I still felt, without you I would not exist. Until I finally realized, that you have been looking for my replacement and I cannot accept it even though I myself asked for it. The day I realized it, that day I wanted to chase you and say, come back because I want to go back. Let's welcome the morning together again."

"I was so happy when you came back to me. Thank you for choosing me at that time. Even though the days with you have been a living memory ever since I found out you were engaged. You don't know, Hana, how broken I was. Even I cried while hugging myself and grasping my shoulder until it was destroyed. For days, I gathered myself crushed under the moonlight, just as I lost my eomma. I'm ruined again, Hana."

"Every day, I force myself to give up on loving you, to forget about you. Whenever I want to give up forgetting you, I say to myself, I am an oppa that bastard, I can definitely do it! Yes, I must curse myself to forget you. And I cursed myself even more when I knew that indirectly everything I did to leave you was a wrong choice for you and destroyed you. I'm sorry, Hana. If I knew it would end like this, I shouldn't have let you go again. I'm the guilty one."

"The guilt makes me want to keep accepting you without objection. You don't have to say anything, Hana. Just don't ever let go of my hand forever because it won't let you go again. But you re-express my feelings, when you say that you really can't do it anymore. I am burning to have you, wanting to keep you by my side. I can't help it. This relationship suffocated me, Hana, making me feel alive and dead at the same time. Slowly, there was no other way for me than to fall into the pit of despair. To the extent that I had time to think, what if I was fed up and disappeared."

"Duhai, stupid Hanaku! Do you know the meaning of the flowers I once gave you? But I'm sure you don't know because your name alone means flowers. The white carnations and red tulips I gave you at your graduation meant eternal love. The red rose of valentine means affection. The yellow tulips I picked for you mean hopeless love, loving you without logic. The red carnation on your engagement day means deep love and I will never forget you."

"But just because I sent you carnations so often, today, you gave me two-colored carnations. Without you knowing what it means is I can't be with you. Hence, I will stop giving you carnations from today. I will give you baby breath flowers which means true love will never end. So that one day, you'll remember me, either as a stupid cousin who would die for you or the best man who ever loved you sincerely."

"Hana, I really love you. But now, you can open your eyes calmly, because I'm going to put it all back where it belongs. I called you Hana and you called me oppa. We are the children of eomma and appa. You were born as my sister and you will end up as my sister. Even so, I will always be there to watch over you like my prayer that always shines on you like the moon tonight. Even if we can't stay together, promise me, to keep shining like we used to. So, Hana, let's shine each other in each other's places. From your fierce oppa, Yongju."