The Overdose of Love

Anger at my mom

One by one it finally revealed, when the former bosses work I have been forced to admit it. And they've all said the same regret and apologized for throwing out a talented model like me.

The mistakes of parents in the present, now have a fatal impact on life, when it was brave to have arranged a covert plan to cancel all my work.

Braak, I firmly opened the door rough, when I went to the old man's house.

"Well, my son's tumbens are now coming straight here," said the kindly welcome mother, who holds my wrist.

Roughly I immediately threw away his touch, because the anger in the heart is now so strong at the top of the crown.

"Don't touch me" I said.

"Why are you, baby. How come you don't seem to like seeing your real mama?" The weirdness he asked.

"Not to talk and much more drama, ma. Tell Chris the truth now, what did you do to my job yesterday? Why can you do such a cruel thing beyond suspicion? Why do you always interfere in Chris's life? Why ... why, ma?" high-pitched voice due to emotions.

"What do you mean, son?" ask him if he pretends not to understand.

"Not to pretend anymore, ma. Chris already knows everything, for my work that you canceled yesterday, and all the companies where the boss worked you have threatened with all the cruelty and your money lump," I explained.

"Oh, that problem. Biasa, mama 'kana love you, so mama did it all for your good," he explained relaxed without any guilt at all.

"Darling? A kindness? Buls*t, about it all. If it is a pity, it certainly will not make this child difficult in finding food, and as a good parent should fully support the work of the choice of children, and as a good parent should support the child, it's not like you're that cruel and heartless" I replied contemptuously.

"Silent you. Know what you are about love and kindness? You are not yet an adult to understand all of this. What is clear mama did that, because she wants you to come back to us like before," she said she did not want to lose.

"That again .. that again, is there no better reason for Chris not always restrained by you. I'm really sick of your attitude, which for a long time has become more like an insane person doing anything for my happiness, who is not necessarily happy with what you're doing. I was really disappointed in my mom, and I will definitely remember forever what you did," I replied.

"It's up to you to say now, which is clear mama still wants you to come back to us. Oh yes, you have our same agreement on black and white paper, so do not forget that if you want to see the Karin is fine," said the mother who was so hearty.

Prang, an urn I had thrown immediately, because I could not bear to see and hear the behavior of the biological mother who increasingly pressured me, to be able to obey all her wishes. Mama looked surprised at what I just did, until her face turned wrinkled like fear. All this time, I have never thrown an item even though emotions have come up, but this time uncontrolled anger has dared to throw the item in front of him.

"I don't know why Mom was so happy with me? It's been so many years that I've struggled to do the job I love, but now what? You have destroyed it regardless of how hurt, disappointed or hurt your child feels. In my mind, you are disciplined, money, respected and have everything. Is my mother until now not aware that all is not eternal, but my love will continue to be eternal if you treat it well. But now all has been broken to pieces over that feeling, because the heartache has now been residing in the heart of the soul to not want to love you anymore," obviously I'm sorry for the biological mother to be aware of what she has done.

"It's not what you're accusing of, Chris. Mama yesterday did intend for you to remember the family and where you came from, but everything became a mess this way due to your own actions, because it was too defend the woman named Karin," obviously he is confusing.

"Don't bring Karin's name to our family, because she has nothing to do with us. Ooh, I just realized now, did you also fire Mr. Samsul's job yesterday, huh?" I am returning emotions.

It looks like your face is just silent not chiming in on my question, until from this can even guess at his expression.

"Well .. wow, I really didn't think that mom was out of bounds doing that recklessness. Our family problems have nothing to do with the Karin family at all, but the outrageous attitude of the mother. It's not that my mom was aware of this, after Chris ran away from home, but instead became - so it's not like myself mama who always loved me when I was a kid. I'm so disappointed in Mom now. I'm sorry if there are words that are wrong with you, which is clear forever in Chris' heart you are still parents, who raised me with affection. I'll keep that promise to go abroad, but please and please don't ever take Karin's life out again, because if I happen I'll hate you even more," My anger speaks which now leaves him, still dumbfounded at the utterance of the truth.

Don't let it be a perpetual cycle of evil.

So, if we now have hurt, prejudice, resentment and disappointment towards our parents, if we can forgive them.

Open our hearts.

Disappointment does not feel hard to forgive, but as a filial child, inevitably have to hold the chest of the majesty of forgiveness.

We have a choice, when we come to terms with a mistake.

We want to continue the mistake or we want to end it, and start a new chapter.

But rest assured as much as their mistakes when educating us.

Remain indebted to us, there is still more that will never be paid until this day, which is when we do not blame anyone for our present condition.

Expand always grateful, multiply give the door of forgiveness, focus on family happiness. God has given us near-perfect parents, so much kindness and affection, so much giving and always forgiving and forgiving our shortcomings as children.

"I'm sorry, ma. It is not the intention of Chris being an unfilial child to you, but it is you who always make me worse, to cause turmoil to rebel against you. This heartache I seek will be hidden in the bottom of the heart, so that my love for you will remain awake. Sorry .. I'm sorry, ma!" the grunts feel guilty already angry, when the body does not move mute in the car.

The head tries to think, turning over what we just did. What am I wrong or are my parents? But this self re-conscious, they do that there must be a definite reason, so that this self back in the embrace of the warmth of their longing. But that is not the way to get this self back, but what I want is that parents can lower the ego, hard nature, always curb, and overprotective to manage all my life.

*******

Days change weeks continue to run, until baby Naya treatment continues to be gradual with the first operation. So unreliable this self saw, as needle after needle continues to stick skin tiny body. But the struggle to recover, it should be appreciated to give more affection if later he recovers and grows up well.

"What's up, chris? I noticed you've always been moody and quiet a lot lately? Is there a problem you're snoring about?" ask Karin to be worried.

"No, Karin. I'm doing fine. Maybe it's just your feelings" I replied as calmly as possible.

"But--? You're really okay, aren't you?" His doubts don't believe.

"Yes, Karin. Oh yeah, there's a wish I have to share with you, so listen carefully to what I'm going to talk about this," I explained.

"Speak. Looks like you're going to say something really serious, what is it?" suspicions returned.

"I know you need me very much now, but forever we can't keep holding each other tightly like this, because it's likely that I will be required to get a job to connect. You take good care of baby Naya, take care of your health as well. Even if I'm not by your side, my love and affection will remain intact only for you, so don't turn your back on me as long as I'm not around, you know!" I am obviously gripping her delicate hand tightly.

"Why are you talking like this? You're going to leave us by going a long way, aren't you?" karin asked a question.

"I don't know how far we're going to go, which obviously is mama's already preparing everything for the future" I replied with reddened eyes.

"Alright, Chris. Its alright. Surely parents provide the best way, for you are more mature in navigating this life. Don't worry about us, I will always take good care of baby Naya" Karin agreed.

"Thank you, Karin. This is what I love about you, when I am always patient and obedient to this unpleasant and tiring taste. This separation that we will live, maybe as a lesson for us that love must survive, keep each other affection even though the LDR path we take," I now really shed tears.

"Yes, Chris. It doesn't suck this bad, because this is just a separation between distance and time, not a final farewell, so don't be sad anymore, ok! You are well there and always take care of your health. Both of us will miss your presence. I will wait patiently to keep this love" Karin explained.

"Thank you, Karin."

We have been swayed by a sad smile in the absence of disrelief, which equally strengthens the embrace. I told Karin everything, and it turned out that she was fine with it, unlike my weird shadow. Hopefully, this feeling is still strong and remains well-established for the love that is blocked by space and time.