The Love Traces of RAHWANA
Quarry 25.
I woke up when I heard a noise calling my name. And I opened my eyes immediately.
“Ara! We've arrived. Come.” Cloud Speech. I saw him taking our bags out of the trunk.
I looked out the window. And it still looks dark outside.
I got up and got off the platform. Walked following the Clouds behind him out of the station.
“Ara!” Call a voice I know very well.
Yuta was running towards me and the Clouds.
“Yuta. Why are you here?”
“Mom called me last night and asked me to pick you up.” Yuta Bright.
Jeez mom. There is a good one at home. And I asked Yuta to come get me. Just be right. Mother made my position difficult between these two men.
“Sini.” Yuta asked for my bag which was carried by the Clouds. “Come. We go home.”
“Awan, we can take you if you want.” I offered. Because honestly I feel bad about leaving him there.
“Not necessary. I'll take a taxi.” Cloud reject.
“Ya already then.”
Me and Yuta rushed into the car and we immediately left the station.
“Why can you be together?” Ask Yuta.
“Oh. Clouds is the brother of Sister Susan's husband.” I think that's quite clear to Yuta.
“Oos. So how was your trip?” I don't know what Yuta meant by asking like that. I felt his tone was different than usual.
Is he jealous?
“Entahlah. I slept along the way.” My honesty.
I'm not lying. I fell asleep along the way.
**
**
From that day on, my relationship with the Clouds has continued as well as usual. Until it doesn't feel like time is passing so quickly.
Lately, Awan rarely met or called me. She is busy preparing for the national exam for her graduation. And I don't want to bother him either. I hope he gets the best score.
This afternoon I was tired in the library. Doing some college work.
Tuk. Tuk. Tuk.
A knock on the table in front of me made me instantly raise my face to see who the person who knocked was.
“Oh? Cloud.”
“I thought you were here?”
“Why are you here? Aren't you on an exam?”
“My test was finished last week.” Answer Cloud. He sat in front of me.
“How about your test? What's hard?”
“Which obviously isn't as hard to resist missing you. Hehehehe.”
“Chh. You're this. Always is.” Narrator.
“Lantas, don't you miss me?”
“em. I didn't miss you.”
“What is it? Really?” I chuckled at the Cloud who seemed disappointed with my answer.
“While I thought you would miss me so much after a few weeks of not meeting.” Said again.
Of course I miss him. But I have to keep my prestige. I don't want to say it.
“Ara?”
“Hem?”
“Do you have time tonight?”
“Why?”
“I want to take you to dinner. There's something I want to talk to you about.”
“Why not talk here?”
I raised my face to look at the clouds. It turned out that he was seriously looking at me. I feel bad myself.
“Then. I'll pick you up at 7pm.”
“Oke.”
We were not in the library long because I had to go home. And at exactly seven o'clock in the night, Awan actually picked me up at home. As usual, he'll ask my father and mother for permission to take me out.
“Where are we going?”
“Eat.”
The clouds took me to a restaurant in a five-star hotel.
“What we will eat here?” My whisper.
“Em. I want to treat you something delicious and expensive.”
“That delicious need not be expensive, Awan.”
Somehow I wasn't surprised when a restaurant waiter greeted us and invited us to follow him. The waiter took us to a table in the corner.
The clouds sat in front of me, looking at me intensely.
“What do you want to talk to?”
“We eat first.” The clouds are taking time again. I can't wait to hear what he's about to say.
Even after he finished eating, the clouds were still silent. Not as usual. Tonight, he was too quiet.
“Do I make a mistake?”
“Why are you asking that?”
“Color since then you've just been quiet. You said you wanted to say something but you never said it.”
Hearing that, the clouds sighed. He rested his back on the back of the sofa and a moment later he even pushed forward and folded his hands on the table. The clouds look restless.
“Ara?”
“What? Justsaytheword. I'm listening.”
“Tomorrow I'll go.”
I'm speechless. Gone off?
“Where?”
“Boston. Tomorrow night.”
The boston? That sounds very far away.
Is it time for the clouds to leave?
“Am I selfish asking you to wait for me back?”
After a long silence, I nodded. “Em. You're selfish if you ask me to wait.”
“Ara..”.
“Women. I won't wait for you. I will walk the path that is before me. I don't want to torture myself by waiting for you. And you, you too must go your own way. And we'll see if time will allow us more space. Let's not expect each other. Let these memories end here.”
Gosh darn. What have I said? I must have hurt her heart.
And to be honest, the remark didn't just hurt the Clouds. But it hurt my heart too. Even the words that came out of my mouth were able to scratch the wound in my own heart.
I couldn't imagine that I would have to wait for him to come back in no time. And I'm sure, in that time frame, there will be a lot of events that we can't predict. I don't want to torture myself by waiting for something uncertain.
A long time ago the clouds fell silent and looked at me pias. While I was anxious about what he would say next.
“Heheheh. Sorry then. I still don't realize we're not in any kind of bond. Yeah, you're right. I have no right to ask you to wait. I'll correct my words. Don't wait for me.”
I was surprised by the words of the clouds. He seemed pleased to accept my rejection. His smile was visible in my eyes. I can't bear to see it.
“Then can you spend the night with me? Let's take a walk until satisfied.”
I doubt. Assent or reject his request. Unbearable feeling piled up in my heart and I finally accepted it.
“Oke.”
The clouds kept smiling. And I know he had to.
Am I evil?
Yeah, I feel that way myself. Honestly my heart ached when I heard Cloud was going to Boston to continue his education.
My heart is pias too. I love the Clouds. Really am. It's just that I'm privileged to lick my own spit for the commitments I've made to myself. How shameful it would be to take back my words. Shame on myself, and shame on those closest to me who know it.
If I can admit it, I regret making that promise. Because, I have hurt Yuta and Awan.
