The Gun In My Hand's

Chapters 25. A Reason We're Not Through

The Bullets Club, Newcastle, UK – 10.55 pm.

I left Leon sitting tight back there. I was even reluctant to look at anyone I passed by at this moment. All I have in mind right now is to get away and get away from this bastard.

Even when I came out of this club, I was still covered in so much emotion. Those emotions aren't enough to make me grieve my grief, I can't afford to just cry right now.

I opened the door of the car that had been parked not far from the exit of the club, I knew Dereck had been inside. He looked surprised when I closed the door with a very strong slam. I said nothing but to close my eyes and lean my back against the chair.

Dereck's breath reached my ears before he said, "Elisa .. I know you're still shocked by the situation and maybe angry. But, what you should know is that Leon didn't lie to you, he didn't plan on seeing that woman. I'm yang－"

"Dereck, quiet! I already knew! I'm just trying to justify what's on my mind right now. All I'm concerned about is that he didn't call me and you know that. I was ordinary at first, but instantly my head wanted to break thinking about the thing that Leon wasn't really doing behind my back. You see that woman too? He still adores Leon, he still wants it!"

I said those long sentences like a possessed man. I need to get everything out of my mind and Dereck is the right person to be the target of my rampage. But the reaction I got from him even looks excessive.

He hit the steering wheel very strongly and shouted, "Damn! I know that, Elisha! I understand that look of her. So stop acting like a kid because Leon's not like whatever you have in mind."

I was a little shocked and angry at the same time. Why would he be yelling at me like that? I chose silence after that I accepted. 

Dereck who had been reluctant to say anything, immediately opened the car door after saying, "I left something inside, wait a minute."

He didn't wait for my answer and just passed by. I waited long enough for him in the car just to dampen my emotions that did not diminish in the slightest. Numun, Dereck's not coming back.

I finally decided to catch up with him, just to make sure he didn't come back to sit down with Leon and Clara. Thinking of the two people before, it pissed me back. Why didn't Leon come after me when he left the club?

Sucks.

While crossing the club guard, I saw Dereck's back in the dim corner before actually getting into the club. What the hell is he doing? I had just wanted to hit that back, but instantly the intention was lost when I looked at where Leon was.

Leon is still there .. he .. hugs the woman.

My body collapsed instantly and I dropped my clutch. Dereck then regained consciousness from his daydream and immediately turned his body. His face was stiff and tense as he looked at me, I think the look on my face was the same as what Dereck had put out. 

I shook my head, I couldn't bear it and immediately ran away from this cursed place. My tears came instantly, I couldn't help it. My eyes that blurred with tears made me fall while running out of the club. My legs felt limp, the people who entered the club immediately stared pusher at me.

I didn't care and hit my chest because it felt tight. Shortly after I felt myself drifting, Dereck lifted me up. Until I got into the car, I was still beating my chest.

"Elisa, stop hurting yourself! Don't do that."

I covered my ears and shouted, "Go! Get out of here, I don't want to be here!"

Dereck shouted, "Alright! We're gonna go and stop like this!"

Dereck started the car engine and managed to run it. Unfortunately, while passing in front of the club, Leon came out and managed to catch my gaze. I saw his surprise and stopped eye contact.

It felt like my heart was slashed many times when I looked back at him. I closed my eyes, tried to forget anything and couldn't. During the trip, I stared out of the car in my silence and still broke into tears, but more and more disappeared. My thoughts and feelings are in sync and both say that ... 

I hate Leon and myself.

...***...

Armstrong's Mension, Newcastle (Tyle and Wear), UK - 11.47 pm.

I threw my favorite black high heels into the back passenger seat. I opened the car door and just walked out. After slamming the car door, I approached Dereck who was standing on the opposite side of the car to me.

With my emotions still a little turbulent, I yelled as I pressed my index finger against his chest, "Listen to me, you son of a bitch! Don't let that bastard step on my house in the slightest. You'll feel the consequences if you don't listen to this command well. From the beginning I told you, don't keep anything secret about him from me－

－about that woman, you know I really didn't like the sight earlier, I would have even pulled that bitch's hair if I didn't care about my pride than my heartache. Keep bringing the two together and you'll see when I can easily step on your self-esteem because of my slightly diminished confidence!"

I darted away from Dereck after spilling the remnants of my anger. Even from a distance I could see the bodyguards glancing silently at me. I managed to reach the main door of the mension and closed it in a hurry.

I ignored some stiff waiters standing up to see my behavior, maybe they knew my bad mood. I climbed the stairs towards the second floor and faintly heard my mother's screams that seemed to be angry at my attitude. I ignored him and continued running until I finally reached my room.

After leaning my back against the door I had just closed, I felt my heart still beating violently. The sound of my breathing filled the darkness of my room without lighting.

I hate myself like this. I hate feeling weak about Leon. My heart ached to see him betray me, but the other side even made me grieve my stupidity for realizing once I loved him.

I'm jealous, reluctant to share her with anyone, I want to be selfish if it concerns her.

I closed my eyes and immediately my body fell to the floor. My breath was no longer hunting and my heartbeat was no longer painful. Immediate calm enveloped me.

I got up from the floor and walked towards my window. For a moment I stared at the moonlight coming through the glass window that was not well covered by curtains. I then opened the curtains slightly wider so that the rest of the room was illuminated.

A few minutes I was drifting in my contention, before long the sound of knocking on the door behind there. There was no sound of anyone calling and I refused to ask. I think it's only my mother who checks whether I'm asleep or not.

However, I realized when the door back there was opened. I never remember checking my sleep was my mother's habit.

The footsteps of the shoes slowly came to my ears, I sorted my forehead even though I wasn't sure at all.

I hope not him, not him, not－

I stopped with my mind as the heavy hand coiled around my stomach. I closed my eyes and exhaled a rough breath as I felt him immerse his face in the swig at my neck.

We stayed in this position for a long time, until I finally opened my eyes to break the silence, "Leon, please not now."

I myself was a bit surprised to be able to make such a calm voice even though my anger was still lingering.

Leon didn't move at all and he still hid his face in my neck. He even tightened his embrace on my body, as if reluctant to let go.

I said, "I'm tired, if you have anything to say, then we can talk tomorrow in my office. I know tonight I'm being disrespectful by ruining your meeting. So ... leave me alone for now."

With that still calm voice, I raised both my hands to release her arms that were beginning to loosen. However, when his embrace was released, suddenly the burly arm was back around my neck and the hidden face was finally on the side of my face.

I heard the roar of his breath, which was originally hunting down, slowly getting quieter. He manages his emotions very well. The arm that was trapping my neck didn't even hurt me at all.

"No ... You can do anything. You can bother me whenever you want. You can do it. But please ... don't stay away from me."

"Leon ..."

I again exhaled a rough breath as I slowly released Leon's embrace and turned my body to look at him.

Leon looks different, he is not like Leon who always shows his creepy aura. I saw a great fear in his eyes. As my eyes whistled with his eyes, he quickly averted his gaze. I couldn't even see his expression clearly because it was covered by his already unkempt hair.

He's messy.

I ignored whatever I was seeing right now. I closed the curtains I had opened and continued walking towards the bed to turn on the sleeping lights. Suddenly Leon's hand blocked me, stopping me from continuing to ignore him.

"Elisha. I love－"

Before the sentence was finished, my hands refrexcited moving to land on the cheeks of this man I still love so much. My breathing went back to hunting, I stared at my own hands that were trembling nonstop. I didn't think I'd do that myself.

I alternately stared at my trembling hand with the side of Leon's face. He might be very surprised as much as I am.

"Leon ... I ... Me, give me some time. I promise we'll talk about this. Understand."

I immediately got out of my position and immediately got into my warm blanket. I ignored Leon who was silent in his place, while I closed my eyes tightly while still holding my trembling hand.

Unknowingly the vibration spread all over my body, I was shocked for the umpteenth time as I felt tears well up my cheeks again.

What's wrong with me?

Why am I this weak? I am still a woman at last.

"I'm sorry, just cry. I'm just gonna be like this, please let me be like this."

The whisper made it out of Leon who stuck his head to my nape. I felt him continue to kiss me very gently, making the stuffing I was spitting out even more so. He looked for my hand hidden inside the blanket and clasped his fingers forming a firm grasp.

Why am I so bad?

Only small things in a relationship should be solved easily.

Seems like.

But the problem is I've never felt anything like this, only this time. Stupid, I cursed myself who always mocked my mother's habit of watching romance dramas that I categorized as senseless.

Of course it makes sense, I also feel it, the process of a new relationship that I feel as a woman who has never touched something like this. It was as innocent as what else I was that was even worse than a teenager who had just been hurt by his first girlfriend.

Actually ... Leon was a first for me.

Too long immersed in my thoughts, making me slowly subconsciously feel calm in Leon's embrace, my sobbing faded as the drowsiness came.

...***...

Armstrong's Mension, Newcastle - 06.37 pm.

I blinked my eyes a few times, managed to wake up at an uncharacteristic hour when I felt the glare of the sun could not enter, except from the uncovered gap of the curtains. I tried to get up, but I felt a burly arm trapping me.Leon's arm.

He's still here. Still with me.

I turned my back, hoping I wouldn't interrupt her sleep. My fingers managed to get rid of the hair that was blocking the eyes of this man I love. I tried to touch his unique eyebrows, the small trench of his eyebrow separator there made others who saw this figure even more intimidated.

The resolute impression on his face even covered her beautiful dark green bead. But believe me, this face is always the interest of many women to have it.

Slowly I wanted to touch the eyelids that managed to hide his eyes, but the intention was immediately paused when I returned terbesit last night. I have to shift my mind. Come on, don't be a child, Elisha.

Finally I decided to come out slowly from Leon's embrace so as not to disturb his sleep. Looking at him who was not even bothered at all, showed he was extremely exhausted at the moment.

I immediately darted into the bathroom to clean myself up before descending into the kitchen to fill my stomach. I know that my parents are not at the dinner table and I am reluctant to answer questions from them if I have breakfast together.

As soon as I finished cleaning myself, I switched to a suitable look for exercise and immediately exited the room. Not to forget, I stole one toast from the kitchen because I knew there would be a waiter shouting if I knew I wanted breakfast earlier.

When I got out of the mension, the air still looked very friendly. It was cold and a little cold. I started running out of the mansion past the side of the park and met the bodyguards who were surprised to see me. They lowered their faces as I passed them one by one.

I walked down the streets that are still included in the Missions area. Out of the path of the park that is quite wide, I went into a large street that is actually a quiet street and covered by shady trees on the side.

This road runs around the golf course my father used to welcome his best friends, including his business colleagues. This road is quite long and suitable to be a decent running track to make me tired.

I ran slowly until the middle of the track, sweat had poured out a lot of my body. I stopped for a moment to calm my heart.

How not? In addition to the long track, I also realized after a long time I did not do physical activities such as running in the morning. I don't know, maybe the last time I did it was a year ago.

I don't know how long it will take me to finally reach my starting point. It seems very far away.

My breath was still panting when I heard the sound of the pounding of the shoes not much different, I turned my body back and saw Dereck coming towards me. I narrowed my eyes when I saw that figure was not much different from me.

Dereck used a thin black sports jersey and was already wet from his sweat. I could see the prints of his muscles from the shirt. He stopped right in front of me.

"I've never seen you run in the morning on this track" Dereck said.

I rolled my eyeballs, "I don't have to report what I have to do in the morning to you. Why are you running in the morning anyway?"

"You don't need to know my morning routine either, Princess."

He said it while scraping through the contents of his bag that I just realized was in the seat behind me. Yeah, I don't think he lied about the rhythm of his morning run. He's full of preparation. He threw a bottle of water at me, while he himself wiped the sweat around his face and neck with a small towel.

The drink was certainly not going to be wasted, I drank it without permission to cover the lack of my body fluids because of the sweat that has come out a lot. I dipped almost half a bottle until I realized Dereck narrowed his eyes as he looked at me thirsty.

"If I knew you'd be this late, I wouldn't give you my drink." I almost choked on her words.

I put the drink back in his hand and immediately wiped the water that might have been slightly out of my mouth. "You're stingy, I thought it was for－"

I was wide-eyed when I saw Dereck drink the rest of the drink I had, he did not look disgusted or uncomfortable with what he was doing.

Not until there, when he downed the water, I saw Dereck's neck that looked strange, like a grip. No, it's like a giggle. I unknowingly touched Dereck's neck out of curiosity. This made him stop his drinking.

"What's wrong with your neck?"

I said it like a tweet that even Dereck himself might have a hard time hearing.

I imagined such a great horror as I stared at the choking marks that were still very impregnable. I felt Dereck's hand touch my hand, as if to keep my fingers away to look at the mark. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me, looking dislikeful of what I asked.

But the twelve giggles did not calm me down at all.

"What are you doing?!"

I gasped when I heard Dereck's scream. No, not Dereck. That voice was right behind me. Not until digesting the answer to the question earlier, my still stiff hand was suddenly pulled up past my head. My body jolted following my hand that was pulled away just like that.

"Elisha?!"

Leon's? I stared at his familiar gaze, so intimidating and full of anger, his emotions clearly visible in his eyes.

"I ... I－"

I stammered to answer his question, I couldn't even look him in the eye.

"Leon, he's scared. We're just－"

"Shut up!"

Leon even brushed off Dereck's hand trying to untangle the grip of his hand on mine.

"Don't interfere, don't ever touch her again before I break your hand!"

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...TO BE CONTINUED...

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