The Gun In My Hand's

Chapters 11. The More That I Know

Parker's Palace, Waltham Forest (Greater London), UK – 01.21 am.

Happiness is gone. Just a moment and never will stay. It took me three days to convince my feelings. I didn't expect my first kiss would take me adrift in a more sinister world.

Just me. Yeah, I'm the only one who feels it. How arrogant I am when I receive a little hope from a man.

At first I was sure and sure it would work. My feelings couldn't be wrong when for the first time my mind and body felt helplessness every time I looked into his eyes.

I thought he felt the same way, but I was wrong. I'm just a stupid woman repeating the same mistake, even worse.

I closed my ears, reluctant to hear what I had always said. He's a bastard. He's a rude man. And he's the man who made me give my heart to him. That was Leonal Aldrich.

Rejection is the thing I hate most in my life. No and do not is a word of plea as well as an order that is always thrown by my mother or father. Can you think of porcelain? I sometimes think, do my mom and dad think I'm a fragile thing that breaks easily like porcelain?

But my heart is like porcelain. And the biggest rejection of my life that broke my heart was this moment. It's much more painful than before.

Really, I'm ready to open myself up to that guy. I felt dirty when I realized how easy I was like this. And what made me realize was his rejection.

—

I walked in the darkness with tears. I don't want to look back, there is still visible debris of my destruction. I climbed the stairs to my room.

I rode it running and forgot that my feet were still wet, until my feet slipped and my body almost hit the corner of the stairs if I did not hold the handle of the stairs.

Even in a sad state, I still have bad luck. For a moment I could not get up because my leg hit the corner of the stairs was very sick. I still cry and keep crying in silence. I forced myself to stand up and try to complete my journey to reach the room.

While in the room I dropped my body on the floor and leaned my head against the edge of the bed. I squeezed firmly into my blanket and continued to cry over my regrets. My heart hurts so much it feels like it wants to bleed.

If I want to repeat time, then I don't want to go to this palace. But late. I had fallen too deep, just like my body was completely wet right now, and there was no point in drying myself out because everything was meaningless.

...***...

Nine hours later ...

Gts ... Gts ... Gts ...

It was a knock that I don't know how many times. Why do they choose to keep knocking on the door when the door is not locked. Ah yes, only he dared to break through that door without my permission.

"Elisha! Can I come in?" I raised my face for a moment.

That's Zach?

Stupid timing.

I went back to drowning my head in my own arms. Soon the door opened and I was sure it was Zach. I kept my eyes closed and refused to open them. I felt Zach in front of me, and it was true that his hand rubbed my head gently.

"Elisa ... What's wrong with you?"

I raised my face and he looked very surprised. Am I so messy right now? I don't give a shit anymore. He quickly hugged me. His attention made me weak again. I felt my destruction again and cried in her arms.

My feelings are back and it hurts a lot. Zach kept rubbing my back. I'm sure he's confused by my condition in a bikini in the morning and my face that's just out of shape because of swollen eyes. I'm not sleeping. I can't.

Zach kept asking me things I wouldn't answer. Right now all I need is his hand to make me better. I don't know how long I've cried for myself, but Zach still faithfully calmed me down until I stopped doing this.

I ended it all by soaking myself in the bathtub. Zach even helped me who couldn't walk on injured legs. She didn't leave my room because she wanted to make sure I got out of the bathroom safely.

Zach also accompanied me to breakfast in the room and he kept looking at me nonstop. While I only stirred my food because it was not tasteful.

"I won't leave until you finish your meal, Elisha. At least you can use your mouth to eat if you don't want to tell me anything." He said it while holding my hand. As usual, I gave her a smile.

I started eating my food to alleviate Zach's worries. For a moment I thought and said, "Zach, I'm done here. Can you take me home when you're not busy?"

"Elisa ... Why is it so fast? Are you uncomfortable with this palace?"

"No. I just want to go back to my house. I want to see you." Zach stopped worrying when I told him the reason.

"All right, I'll take you tonight." I thought Zach had a job at first so he'd take me tonight. But apparently not, he's been with me all day. He didn't ask, didn't talk to me, and just stayed by my side.

And from the day I left Zach's palace, I never saw Leon again.

It's over. I give up.

...***...

One month later ...

Armstrong's Mension, Newcastle (Tyne and Wear), UK – 09.45 am.

"Elisa, explain this to mom!"

My mom threw a tablet on the couch where I was relaxing. Yeah, I'm sure they'll keep hitting me with this question.

I who laze in the family room while eating snacks and watching tv will not be here. My father, who had been sitting in silence reading a magazine, was reluctant to ask.

"Don't believe the media, ma'am. They're all liars." I answered casually.

"Your bodyguard's answer is different, Elisha. They say you ran away after coming home from your meeting. And what is this?! You were with Kyle on the beach. Please don't create a scandal out there. You're in the media spotlight now and we agreed your engagement was canceled, but why are you guys acting?!"

I took the tablet and saw the news of myself wearing a bikini on the beach while embracing Kyle's arm. You disgusting paparazzi. Why do they keep following?

Kyle and I are out of this engagement. But we are back to nurturing our friendship as it was. I didn't even feel any weight when I got close to Kyle. We spent a lot of time together.

From some of his stories, I found out he was still thinking about a woman he really wanted to meet. He had already dropped his heart on the woman. Even worse, he never expressed his feelings.

His feelings grew because of the mistakes they made. That's very dramatic. When I asked him why he wasn't looking for the woman, he just answered the circumstances that didn't allow it. He chose to give up his desire to enter the business world in place of his father.

And that's the difference with me. I have loved the business world since childhood. While Kyle is so far away, he loves music so much, I was even so fascinated when he played his guitar. But I never heard of it again when Kyle went into business.

From our closeness, Kyle also always helped me escape from the guard. I am so grateful for his help. But right now my family is very protective because my position will be the same as Kyle's. I will replace my father's position in the business world that makes my name even better known.

Zach and my parents recently covered up all the media that was telling me bad news. I will be a woman who is many times busier than my father and more famous than an artist.

Back with my mother's anger.

"Okay, I admit I was wrong. I just want to enjoy my free time before my appointment, Mom. I will be more busy after that. One more thing, Kyle and I aren't dating and we're not getting engaged. I just spent my free time with him, nothing more."

I said it while putting my head on my mother's thigh. He looks relieved.

"All right, I beg you two days you're not going anywhere. Two more days you'll be in the spotlight, Elisha. You have to prepare for that. Do you have to give a gift for that?" My mother slowly gave me a small box.

My eyes wide. I opened the box and saw the ring I had wanted for a long time. This ring is a ring of Armstrong descent that is always given to people they love very much. Platinum ring with emerald.

"Mother, is this real? Daddy?"

I hugged my father who was pretending to read a magazine. I kissed my parents' faces with great joy. I even screamed and danced in front of those who were also very happy. 

Happiness increased when I saw this ring so beautiful on my finger.

Very lovely.

...***...

Two days later ...

On the Road to Parker Grand Hotel, City of London, UK – 08.23 pm.

My hands are sweating from nervousness. I opened the clutch and took out a small glass to look at my makeup. Back I tidied up my scarlet dress which was not really tangled at all.

"Dear, relax. You were amazing tonight. No need to be nervous." Okay, my mom's making me nervous.

"You're just giving a welcome word. You're not gonna die just because of that." I grunted at my father's statement. How can I calm down when I get out of the limousine soon will be a lot of media that highlights me directly.

Tonight is the inauguration of the handover of the highest office of Armstrong Company to me. The show covered almost all national television and was attended by my father's business colleagues. Zach took part in this event because we used all the facilities of the hotel. Even the magnificent ballroom of this hotel can accommodate so many people in it.

"Mom, am I overreacting tonight?"

"No, Honey. Come on, you're beautiful and awesome. You've often looked perfect like this. I think a lot of men want to be your husband right now. Show your confidence."

"Amstrong won't pick just anyone."

My father commented again. My father's frustration stems from my activities and my mother taking too long to prepare for this performance. Plus the dress that I wore was very disliked by my father.

This dress does look very sexy and with its elegance will show the curves of my body clearly. Even my back was fully exposed and the very high hem on my left thigh added a sensual impression to this dress.

We finally reached our destination. The first to come out was my father, and was followed by my mother and me. We were greeted by a lot of camera light that made my eyes hurt. We are protected by multi-layered bodyguards.

I was so relieved when I reached the ballroom that it turned out to be so many people. I looked at Kyle with a mesmerizing smile welcoming me and offering him his arm. Without hesitation I accepted it and walked confidently splitting the sea of people inside here.

He whispered in my ear, "You're amazing tonight. I'll make sure a lot of men are drooling at the moment."

I pinched Kyle's arm which didn't actually have any effect on him. Right, I have to be confident. I'm the star tonight. Armstrong is not weak, we are respected. Arogan has become a common word for us.

I'm taking Kyle to the main table. There we were greeted by my father's closest colleague, who else if not the Bradleys. Not to forget, I also hugged Zach who was also at the table. I've missed him. I haven't seen him in a long time.

The event began with the opening of a video of Armstrong's company history. It's time until my name and father are called to the podium. With a confident step I embrace my father's arm towards the podium.

I stood beside my father who was still giving a welcome. Highlight camera light still continues to document us. Finally my turn came. I gave a few words of welcome that I had thought of.

My first impression must be mesmerizing before I enter this world. I'm sure there's a lot of wild animals there that take pains to bring me down. But that doesn't mean anything. Look at this, everyone is amazed by my speech and applause everywhere. It is this world that will shape me into a stronger person.

After the reception, we had a little meal with Bradley's family. Afterwards, I was with my father and Zach went around to greet our business colleagues.

After a long time, I finally felt tired from continuing to stand up, talk, and hold my wine glass. I decided to go to the toilet to avoid this crowd.

When I was washing my hands in the sink, there was a beautiful woman coming out of one of the toilets. He kept looking at himself through the glass, seeing his still decent appearance.

He scraped the contents of his clutch. "Ah, fuck. I forgot to bring a lipstick."

"You want to try mine." I offered my lipstick that I just pulled out.

She smiled at me and said, "Ah, thank you, pretty lady." Without hesitation he directly polished the lipstick onto his lips which perfected his appearance. After that, he said goodbye to come out first.

When I came out, not far from where I came out of the toilet, right in the corner of the ballroom I saw Kyle talking to someone. But his posture looks different. I've never seen him show arrogance when speaking. And when I approached her I was very surprised.

He returns.

Leon.

Therehewas.

My body is weak right now. But what made me unable to move even a little bit from my position was a boy sleeping in his cradle. And that woman, she's the woman in the toilet. He hugged Leon's arm very tightly and lowered his face.

I vaguely heard their conversation. "Very surprising. I didn't think you were a father. Your protection of Elisha seems to show something promising. But all of a sudden you go missing and come back with a woman and a child. Is she your bitch? Yeah, at least I'm grateful. There's no reason for me and Elisha to postpone our marriage. Elisa who now makes me really want to have it—"

"Why do I have to listen to all this from you?" Leon gave off an enormous aura of dislike.

Kyle momentarily looked at the alternating from Leon to the woman. "Because .. the presence of the two of you here .. is very disturbing." Kyle has gone too far.

"Kyla!" I stopped it all. I know, it's painful to see Leon come back like this, but Kyle's gone too far. I don't know why he did that for me.

I approached them and looked at Kyle's face in silence. He then exhaled a coarse breath and embraced my waist possessively. I looked at Leon and the woman took turns. I looked cynically at the woman and saw Leon's dislike of my gaze. Turns out you already have a family, asshole.

I slowly smiled at the two of them and slightly lowered my head as I said, "I'm sorry for my lover's insolence. I hope you enjoy this show."

"Yes, we enjoyed it a lot." Leon's cynical answer shifted my gaze. I stared a long time into those eyes and he just turned his gaze towards my ring. I have that ring on my ring finger.

"Darling, let's dance." Suddenly a whisper that was actually quite loud was thrown by Kyle. He purposely put his lips to my ear. Even the fur on my nape seemed to stand up as he whispered.

During the event, dance music is always there. But I never thought about dancing because nobody does it now. But Kyle pulled up my waist and forced me into the middle of the ballroom.

Everyone is staring at us. And that's when we danced as if to be the princess and the prince in the middle of the kasmaran. I don't know why Kyle's overreacting. Our intimacy continued to wake up until I finally stopped moving in shock at what Kyle was doing.

Mind empty.

Kyle kissed me.

He kissed me.

The camera light continued to rain down on us who were still in the middle of the room. I heard a loud clap.

"I'm sorry, this is an interesting spectacle for that bastard. You likey?" I can't speak. Shortly after, I smiled, hiding everything I thought, because now I have to be a ...

Professional role players.

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...TO BE CONTINUED...

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