The Gun In My Hand's

Chapters 17. I'd Love to Hold You Close

Penthouse Greenwich Avenue, Greenwich (Greater London), UK – 08.48 am.

"His father? His father is already .. dead."

Oh, naw. 

I made a lot of mistakes with all my silly thoughts. First, about the status of the woman beside me and Edward who had irritated me from last night, and now I ask about their old wounds.

I looked towards Edward who continued to play with the television screen. Edward is so easy to love. He's an amazing kid.

"But that's not a problem." 

I looked back at the woman beside me. He said very calmly as he looked at Edward who was still engrossed in his own world.

"We're happy without him. Edward won't lack the slightest affection."

There was a bitterness in his words. He hid it very well. At the end of it I saw Leon frowning his forehead. He also realized what was being felt by this woman named Luxy.

"So, Miss ... Is there anything else you want to ask? I know you like my son so much. No. .. She likes you even more than her own mother." 

He managed to switch that pitiful topic. Okay, I better not talk about that anymore.

"Well, that seems to be true. Emm, you guys live here just two? I mean, didn't Leon have a job before that wouldn't allow him to linger with you?"

I slightly glanced at Leon, he looked back at me, but this time he gave a mocking smile to him. Do I seem so obviously curious about his life? Ah, whatever. I'm sure I won't find the answer from Leon.

"No. We don't live here. Me and Edward were on vacation, and unfortunately we only got to meet Leon this week. We will be back in Germany soon. I have a job there."

"Aaa, like that. I seem to be missing Edward even though we were only close this morning."

"You can visit us if you want."

"really?" 

This time it was Luxy who glanced at Leon and I followed the direction of his gaze. Leon looks lazy to give his opinion.

"You were talking about us. Can I ask you about it? So how long will this engaged woman be here?"

"Luxie!"

Leon finally made a sound. I think this woman always brings out what's on her mind. I was surprised he asked that too. I glanced at Leon and none of us could answer that.

"I was just kidding. Come on, you guys are taking it very seriously. I have no problem with what you're doing. But trust me, you have to be careful. I'm not sure this asshole's gonna be okay hearing if you're pregnant with his son."

"Geez, Luxy! What's on your mind right now!" 

Leon shouted back. While me? I fell silent after listening to what Luxy said. I'm not sure my face is okay right now. Getting pregnant? Leon's?

"What's? Am I wrong? It could have happened considering how unconcerned you were when you tore off her expensive dress. Ah, geez just imagine that I'm pissed off."

"Yes?" 

Aaa, right. Where's my dress? I glanced at Leon who looked stupid. Shit, imagining that dress made me remember how Leon touched me last night. My face immediately warmed up and I was sure to be very red at the moment.

"See, I was right. Something's going on between you two. Look at your face, Elisha. You're blushing."

I hid my face from Leon. I don't want him to find me like this. Damn, this woman is indeed raving too much.

"What are you doing anyway? Did you guys do it like crazy all night. I'm not sure what I found was so horrible. Did you give your virginity to Leon. Dia—"

"No!!!" With a red face I screamed back. I made everyone back surprised.

"Wow, it's okay. You don't have to scream. You see Edward's gonna cry."

I glanced at Edward and it was true that he was holding back his cries. Luxy got up from her seat and carried Edward. He was very surprised by my screams.

"I mean .. where might you think like that. I can't do that with ..."

I turned my eyes back to Leon and forgot to continue my sentence when I realized that the look on his face had changed. He didn't like my answer. He got up from his seat and said, "Where do you keep that goodie bag?"

"Above the washing machine. And there's also your cell phone I guess."

Leon is seen back up the stairs to his room with a goodie bag that he found. He left us without a word. I stared at his departure in silence.

"Hey, what did I say wrong? I don't plan on destroying her mood this early. He's not usually like that." Luxy whispered as she calmed the sobbing Edward.

"Okay, I'm not sure either."

"Go, calm him down."

I immediately headed to Leon's room. When I opened the door, the room looked quiet. No sign of Leon. However, I found one door inside this room that was open. When I peeked into it, it turned out to be like a workroom. Before opening the door, I knocked on it.

"Leon, are you inside?"

No answer at all. But I know he must be in there and hearing what I'm saying. I finally decided to go into the room. It's pretty dark and there's a lot of shelves full of books.

And what struck me even more was the display behind his desk. There are terrible weapons there. Different types of firearms and knives. Wow, that looks scary.

And Leon? He's behind his desk. He just closed his eyes and turned his head to the ceiling. It's like he's sleeping. But I know he's not sleeping. He ignored me. I haven't let go of my grip on the doorknob.

"Close that door." That's the only answer.

When I closed the door, the room immediately became bright. And I just realized, the look of the door was very different inside. He is equipped with a security system. I just found a penthouse like this. This room was even wider than his room.

Leon opened his eyes and found me standing stiffly in front of the closed door. His face was clearly showing a bad mood.

"Come here, Elisha." 

I approached where he was. It's critical. He teased me, he kept making eye contact with me. I don't know what game we want to play.

"Sit on my lap."

"Leon, I'm .. It's okay to stand like this."

"Don't make me repeat it, Elisha. My mood's not good this morning."

I'm making it up, Leon. I finally gave up and sat sideways on his lap. It's mortifying. He used to hold me, kiss me, even touch me. But still, it's so embarrassing. I lowered my face, trying to think hard about this situation.

Slowly the hand took me to focus on his face. The frown on Leon's forehead did not diminish in the slightest. It seems like there is so much he is thinking about.

I stopped her hand that was stroking my face. I took that hand and held it. We're still silent. For a moment I felt something strange about her.

Suddenly Leon hugged me very tightly. He was like a child in need of love. He leaned his head against my chest and closed his eyes again.

"Leon ... Does anything bother you?"

"Hit ..." That's all he can answer.

"You can tell me. Maybe it will help a little."

I don't know why only that sentence I managed to say. I just want to be one of the people who can reduce whatever it is that is a burden. He loosened his embrace and opened his eyes while looking into my eyes.

"Can you wait for me, Elisha?" Why would he ask that? I still remember last night he said the same thing.

"I don't understand, Leon." Why doesn't he make all this clearer?

For a moment I didn't want to answer that question. I brought my finger to rub the frown of his forehead. Is it so hard to say that, Leon? You never opened yourself up to me.

You always make me misunderstand all this. Everything is always revealed from the mouth of another person. Why are you like this?

My fingers slowly traced Leon's split brows. The little ditch of his eyebrow separator always amazes me. And those dark green eyes always make me bewitch. I always managed to get hooked by him.

How many women have admired him so far? I'm so jealous considering I just found you after them.

I finally closed my eyes and stuck my head with her. Trying to absorb the feelings that made me fall more and more to you. I didn't know it would be this sweet and painful to keep you in my heart.

You're gonna keep being this Leon? Leon doesn't talk much and Leon is closed.

Aren't our eyes able to pierce through all this, Leon? Obviously, I'm not a fool who doesn't realize what we're doing together.

It's very dangerous. I don't know what to give up on with the pain anymore. I knew you'd be so easy to dump me with all your ego.

You know that too? I know from your eyes, Leon. Not vague, but very clear. It's just that you don't want to make things clear. And you won't let me know why.

When I gave up and managed to admit I was so enamored, so dependent, so needy, and so loving.

I just want to hear the phrase, 'I love you' come out of your mouth. Why are you so afraid to admit it, Leon? You just keep me waiting ...

"Don't make me keep waiting like this again. I don't know how much longer it will last."

I'll wait for you to admit it, Leon. I wish it had happened. Only this time. Please.

I felt Leon's big hands touching both sides of my face. It's so very emotional. A lot of things are going on in my mind. I don't want to make this end. I will continue to hope and hope.

Leon slowly erased our distance. We managed to plunge back into the mixed feelings. We fell into a kiss that wasn't even planned at all.

I'm trying to get a feel for what Leon wants to say. I know he's trying to make all this better for me. Starting from his attitude that is increasingly soft and can be more honest with himself.

I have no intention of rejecting what he wants to give me. I don't have to make this any harder for us. I'm quite receptive, whether it's happiness, pain, affection. I don't know. This time I just want to believe in the ending you promised.

The kiss went on and on until I felt like I wanted to get rid of all these thoughts. Give us enough space to hold everything.

Cklek, czech, czech ...

The sound of a door knob. I'm trying to draw my senses. Leon gave up, he took his face away from me. We were still panting as if running so far away from the subconscious.

"Leon! Elisha! Are you guys in there?" The luxy?

I started to panic, "Leon ... It's Luxy."

I whispered in front of his face. Leon didn't say anything. He just told me to be quiet by putting his index finger in front of his lips.

"Some, where are they? I'm sure they went to the room. Are they out?" Luxy's voice was still a little small but I could hear.

Still in a sitting position on Leon's lap I said, "Leon, it looks like we should kelu—" My words were cut off as Leon lifted my body onto the glass-lined workbench and wrapped my lips in his kiss. I clutched his shoulder very hard.

I'm sorry, Luxy. This time, give us time to enjoy the atmosphere. Like my first thought. I will not refuse what he gives me. I'll see how far you'll take me, Leon. Let's find that end.

The kiss never stopped one bit. Nobody wants to let go of this. I don't want to, I don't want to go back to taking my consciousness to reject this moment. Leon's grip on my nape is getting stronger. I even felt him strangling me.

And that kiss ended when my screech came out because Leon managed to tear back what I was wearing. I was just surprised by what he did.

He leaned his forehead back in front of my face with a roar of breath vying against my face. He held back the mist of his passion, clearly visible in his eyes.

Very plainly.

"Convince me this time to stop, Elisha."

He took his face away from me and placed both of his palms on my side. He was seen clenching his hands very hard, as if holding back to smash anything at the moment. I know he doesn't want to hurt me with what he's doing.

What exactly do I want?

What do I want Leon to do?

I ... don't know the answer.

"I ... really don't know."

"Damn, your answer doesn't help. You don't know what the consequences of your answer are."

I choose not to reject you, I don't know how to say it. I raised my hand to touch the side of his face that was beginning to worry. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down with the elusan I gave him.

"Then .. show me enough."

I felt Leon's body tighten up. His fists both looked increasingly uncontrollable. He opened his eyes again. The fog filled his eyes. He's trying to control all this.

"We know you have limits. You don't have to go through it, Elisha."

"What if ... if I remove the limit myself?"

After saying that, I let myself into that fog with him. I kissed Leon's lips, I didn't want to make him survive this situation.

I felt his growl until I finally managed to feel his hand back to grab my nape. He seems out of control. He gripped very hard and kissed my lips again. He looks thirsty.

His free hand managed to make this room crumble. He got rid of everything on this glass table. I even heard the sound of something breaking.

He had no intention of letting go of this kiss. He laid me down on a glass table that now felt colder when it came into contact with the skin of my back. She let go of the kiss to undress the clothes she was wearing. He did not take his eyes off my eyes.

The room that was supposed to be cool because of the ac, now not felt because we feel this passion makes us overheated. He kissed my lips again and his hand did not stop to open my pants violently. My sigh was muffled by his kiss.

Leon lowered his kiss to my neck area. I'm sensing. He peeped every inch of my neck as if he didn't want to leave empty space.

Finally my sigh came out when he managed to bite my little earlobe. It's so weird. I've never felt a sensation like this, as if something was exploding in my head.

Back he drove me crazy when he managed to bite a small area of my neck. It's not gonna be easy for me. He turned to my shoulder and kept dipping it. For a moment our eyes met and I first saw Leon who was like this. His eyes implied an unstoppable amount of passion.

He wanted it so much.

He again made me suppress my consciousness when he gave me the pain in my body. He gripped my hair so hard that I had to raise my head, making my body curl up instantly. At that moment I felt pain on my shoulder. He bit my shoulder hard.

It's insanity.

He drives me crazy with how he touches me.

.......

.......

.......

.......

.......

...TO BE CONTINUED...

...•••...