The Gun In My Hand's

Chapters 14. I Don't Do to Well With Apologies

Parker Grand Hotel, City of London, UK – 11.47 pm.

“You heard that?—“ So I stared at the face of the bed there. He's still shedding tears.

He's still there.

I held my bleeding left arm. I could feel the blood coming out of my fingers from Zach's shot. Elisha's cries grew louder and louder filled this room. Crying because I feel relieved I can still stand?

“—He called my name, Zach.” Zach who glimpsed a disappointed look at Elisha immediately turned his body.

“I won't pull my words before.”

After Zach said that, I immediately grabbed the gun in his grasp and attached it to the back of Zach's head.

“Leon!!” Dereck's screams made this scene look even more dramatic. Silent. Zach's not moving at all. You're so sneaky, man.

“Should I give you a parting gift for all of this, Dude?” Let's see if Elisha would have done the same if you had been in my position?

“Whatever, I hope you won't see your face back.”

“I also expect the same.” That instant I pressed the trigger of this gun. Not to Zach's head. But to my own head.

Bingo …

Nothing happened to my own head. I glanced at Elisha who was widening his eyes. I think today I've made his heart work hard. He was there in shock. Ii'm sorry.

“It's a shame you only prepared one bullet to kill your own friend, Zach. Without pulling the trigger I knew it was empty.”

Zach didn't say anything. He just walked out of this room. I stared at the empty doorway.

The silence is still in this room. I realized that Elisha had stopped crying. I turned around and saw Elisha staring at me. I don't even care about my arm that keeps bleeding.

Dereck sat back on his couch looking relieved. None of us wanted to open our voices. I want to get to my woman soon.

My woman?

Will he reject me after all this happens?

“I'll go. You finish this. Return the woman to Zach. Dan—“

For a moment Dereck exhaled his rude breath and resumed his sentence, “—I hope one day you will call me if you need a friend to drink. Your arm ... Can you handle it?” I just gave her a smile. I think I'm gonna miss him.

Dereck moved off his couch. She looked at me for a long time before she patted me on the shoulder and left us both in the closed room. I was no longer able to do anything with the rest of my energy. The emotions that drained everything made the wound on my arm hurt.

I asked the waiter of this hotel to provide some medical needs. Elisa is no longer looking at me. He just stayed in bed and I kept my distance from him. I sat back down to take a sip of my cigarette.

For a while I covered my wounds just by putting my shirt back on. At least the blood won't drip to the floor, even though I look really disgusting in a white shirt covered in blood.

After a long time, the hotel waiter finally delivered the medical needs I wanted. I opened my shirt and cleaned my own wounds.

This wound is not too deep just scratched a bullet. But as usual, when the wound came into contact with the antiseptic liquid, I slightly held back the growl. I used a bandage thick enough to cover it so that this blood wouldn't scare Elisha.

“What is pain?”

Sounds like a little squeak. Elisha saw what I was doing. I didn't answer anything. I know the words I put out will always be different from what other people understand.

I don't want to go back to making this even harder for him. I just need to get this done quickly. Afterwards I cleaned up the remains of blood on my hands.

I opened the goodie bag that Dereck had brought me. Contains regular T-shirts and jeans along with women's underwear. At least Dereck understands women's needs because they fuck them too often.

I took myself to Elisha with a small towel soaked in cold water. When I approached Elisha, he looked very defensive towards me. He pressed the blanket against his chest and his hands trembled. I sat myself in bed.

I raised my hand to touch her face. He shook and closed his eyes. Does he think I'm gonna hit him?

No, Elisha. Ii'm sorry.

I always hated saying that in my heart. But, I'm sure a woman will hate a man more if she always says sorry.

I stroked the side of Elisha's face. “Relax, I won't hurt you. Open your eyes.” Slowly Elisha opened his eyes. The eye implies a very deep fragility. Eyes that have often shed tears because of my excessive emotions.

I kissed the lips that were swollen and hurt by my actions. I am an unforgivable bastard. I screwed him up. Elisha refused at all. She lowered her face and back I heard her stuffing. His shoulders were shaking up and down.

I scooped that body in my arms. Shit, when can I be any better off with this woman? Why do my emotions always put us in a difficult position? I almost completely destroyed her as a woman.

I don't know where my mind's doing this rude thing to punish this woman. To be honest, I never forced a woman to do that. But hearing Elisha love other men too much, made me want to master him.

I kissed Elisha's head in silence and rubbed his back continuously until he calmed down. This continued until she stopped crying herself. I forced those eyes to look at me.

My hand rubbed the remaining tears and turned on her injured lips. I rubbed it and Elisha slowly closed his eyes. I'm sure he still has the energy to cry over all this.

I slowly kissed her lips.  The kiss lasted a long time until it turned into a very soft kiss I gave her. I will avenge all this, Elisha.

I'll treat you better, then hang on a little more. We're gonna start this the right way. I felt him slowly returning my kiss, so I tightened my hold on him.

By the time I took it off, those eyes had changed. I knew his mind would keep looking for answers to everything I was doing to him this time. The eyes hold a lot of questions and confusion. In this second we have not been able to bring anything out to reveal.

I stick my forehead to his forehead and close my eyes. It lasted a long time until finally I could say what I wanted, “Can this time you not reject me.” 

Please.

I turned my face away and looked at Elisha who was still silent. But then he nodded his head very slowly. I immediately let go of my crib and took the little towel I had re-washed into the watery container. I asked Elisha for approval a second time. I asked her hand to hold mine.

Long enough for him to let go of the stranglehold of his blanket. But he managed to give that trust to me. I received his hand and immediately I slashed at his wrist which was very red due to the tightening of the ties. She grimaced a little as I rubbed the towel on her bruise.

Not just getting there. As I unraveled the whole blanket and watched Elisha's bruised body everywhere, it made me grieve myself. He shook back as I cleaned his entire body with a wet towel.

Whether it was fear, shame, or any feeling that made it very difficult for her to face me. The bruise will not go away easily. This was my first time treating women well after I treated them unworthy.

Only Elisha.

After that, I put on whatever Dereck had brought to Elisha. Sure enough, the clothes fit on Elisha's body, although I believe this is very far from what he often wears every day.

I came back near that body. I was so scared of myself being out of control. I could hurt him constantly. When I hugged her again, she just fell silent and did not return the hug. I'm sure it's still very difficult for him.

“This hurts?”

She worried about me?

Is that possible?

“Not too.”

That's the only answer I can think of right now. The silence still crawled us. I still keep looking at the face of this woman who is not sure what she is thinking. He was watching my body.

“You have many wounds—“

" … "

“—You covered it with many tattoos.”

I smiled for a moment. At least we had a topic of conversation, although I was reluctant to talk about these injuries.

“Yeah .. I think you'd be scared if this wound wasn't covered with tattoos. I get them at different times and moments. I guess I'll cover this wound on my arm with a tattoo too.”

My body does have some tattoos in certain places. That's what makes me always choose to wear covered clothes. The tattoos I have are diverse and are exactly above the wounds I always get. They're small because I'm just going to cover a gunshot scar or a knife cut. Ah, I hate it when the wound is broken and not covered.

My eyes focused on the ring that was embedded in Elisha's ring finger. That really bothered me. But I don't have to rush to ask this, even though my mouth is itching to ask.

“What is that terrible? Which wound is the worst?”

I thought for a moment and instantly turned my body so that it revealed my wide back.

“Testing the back.”

There's no response whatsoever. When I looked back, Elisha looked very surprised. His eyes could not stop staring at my back. I felt his fingers touch my back. I turned my back and held her fingers.

“They ... a lot.”

What Elisha meant was probably the tattoo of the little birds on my back that were very numerous. They just want to migrate.

“That's how much you think? That scar I got in the Middle East. I also can't believe this second is still breathing if I remember that patch wound.” He went back silent.

“Who are you protecting so that you get that much wound?”

“No, I'm not looking after anyone. Me ... ”

For a moment I thought about how to explain to Elisha this work of mine. I never revealed this to my family.

“What if it's hard for you to explain.” I can't give any further explanation for this. Again, sorry.

“Emmm, okay. Do you still have the power to wake up? I mean ... We don't have to stay here. I'm sure this will be very difficult to remember earlier ..”

I don't know why tonight I think a lot before I speak and rarely go on.

Elisha lowered his face. I know he remembered the incident. I immediately got out of my seat and put on the shirt that Dereck had brought and put my undamaged clothes and Elisha into the goodie bag.

Thankfully, Dereck bought me a hat.

I put the hat on Elisha's head. He looked confusedly at me. I immediately cleared up any confusion here so as not to leave any traces.

I held Elisha in front of me. At first he was only a little surprised, but did not refuse at all. He asked me nothing and just put his hand around my neck.

When I opened the door to this room, many of Zach's bodyguards were on our way. On the way to the exit, Elisha always lowered his face as if hiding himself behind my large body. None of us opened the conversation again.

I choose to be more careful when leaving the hotel to avoid unwanted things. We walked to the parking lot and looked for my mustang. I put Elisa on the passenger bench. He didn't talk much on the way, and he didn't even ask where I wanted to take him.

After a few minutes, we finally reached my penthouse. I carried her back slowly and looked at the surroundings. There's nothing suspicious and no Zach guards hanging around here.

I opened the penthouse door slowly. As I entered, I saw the high heels and the tiny shoes used by Edward strewn across the floor. Thank goodness they slept. I'm sure Elisha saw what I saw, too, but he didn't even want to ask.

I put the goodie bag containing my clothes and Elisha on the living room sofa and brought Elisha to my room on the second floor. I put it on my bed. He doesn't mind what I'm doing. Still in a sitting position on my bed and I squatted in front of him by wrapping my arms around his waist, “You hungry?”

She shook her head, “No, I .. a little sleepy.”

I carried some hair on Elisha's face behind his ears. I rubbed the side of his face and kissed his forehead. “Sleep here.  I'm not ready to take you back to Zach.” He's shaking his head. I know this is the last time Zach has given me his hospitality.

I helped Elisha position himself to comfortably lie on my bed and re-dyed his forehead before I passed to the bathroom. I'll clean myself up before I go to sleep. My mind is still working and has no intention of rest. I need to clear my mind.

A few minutes later, I came out of the bathroom. Elisha was asleep. He was very calm in his sleep. I allowed the blanket not to get cold. I laid myself on the couch not far from the bed. I stared at Elisha's sleeping body. She's still so pretty. I'm so unwilling to let go.

A few minutes passed, but I was not sleepy in the least. I kept remembering what happened a few days ago when the name Elisha was clearly mentioned by Jose. They're after Elisha.

His security will be at stake and damn it I'm getting further with him. Zach no longer gives him any rights. The thought continued to wander through my head until I was upset that I couldn't sleep.

It's already two in the morning. I finally couldn't stop myself from holding this woman. I want to feel that body in my arms. When I grabbed the body, Elisha was a little disturbed, probably because of my cold temperature. I always take my clothes off when I sleep.

I re-ganged my arms. She's very warm. His warm body even felt to creep into my body, giving rise to a calming atmosphere. Slowly the calming atmosphere led me to sleep.

I want time to stop for a moment.

I want this woman to stay by my side.

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...TO BE CONTINUED...

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