RAGIL (First Love)
SIXTEEN
Give space and a little time for our story. Because in fact the wall can not be torn down just with a single attention.
-azka
Azka and Saga have known each other for three years. The closeness of the two is increasingly inseparable since they both become a team of assistant lecturers at the same faculty. As in previous days, on the same campus Saga and Azka were sitting together again. They told each other about their activities that day. Occasionally also discuss each other related to the paper that will be submitted in a seminar.
Saga looked up as the waiter asked for permission to pick up dishes that already looked empty on the table. Saga nodded allowing the waiter to take the plates. Azka looks to be taking the worksheet on the laptop very seriously. He ignored the presence of the servant.
"So what do you think of my paper?" asked Saga when she saw Azka had leaned her body on the back of the chair while sighing tiredly.
"You don't have to ask for my opinion like Ga. You are better at this problem than I am" said Azka humbled
"But we have to look at other perspectives. Don't get too sick of what we're doing" Saga leaned back in her chair.
"I think it's good, just maybe you need to add more detail to the implementation of this research. There are a few less obvious details. According Prof. Ara, it will make it easier for readers later when they want to do the same research" Azka closed her laptop, "There will be more that will stimulate later if the research is easy to follow and be used as a reference" added Azka.
"Okay, I'll fix it. Sis, would you like to be the second writer in my paper?"
"Hemmh, too much if the second author. Enter your research team first Ga, I can at the end" Azka replied bidding Saga's proposal.
"Okedeh" he answered, He glanced at Azka's mobile phone which was vibrating "Sir, hapeenya sound" He pointed with the tail of his eyes. Azka immediately saw the phone that had not been lyric at all. He checked several incoming messages in email and wa. The corner of his eye was drawn to an Instagram notification in the corner of his phone screen.
Ka, this is my wedding invitation. You came yes. Although it's all over, but we're ever close. I wait, deket kok in Bandung.:)
A message sent through the short message made Azka bite her lower lip. Yes, Azka was very close to Irine, Rasya's cousin. The news of this marriage should be happy news, but it brings a doubtful hump in Azka's heart.
Should I come? What if Rasya is there? It's gonna be so awkward. Azka.
Then the idea that Azka considered briliant just appeared in his head.
"Ga, is there an agenda this weekend?" he asked after putting the phone back in his bag.
"Em'em" Saga shook her head.
"Temenin to yuk wedding" Saga looks thinking, then smiles jail.
"There's no partner? Hahahaha" Saga could not help but laugh as Azka's face instantly turned sullen. "But there are conditions"
"Hn?" Azka awaits the conditions that will be submitted by Saga.
"Temenin I go home first" he said.
"Huh? No deh. I came alone. You used to take girls to your house?" ask Azka
"It never is. That's why take you brother. How's it?"
"That crus means how do you take me to your house?"
"Yes, I am serious"
"Gak ah, it will be assumed that your parents we have nothing" Azka refused.
"There's nothing, huh? Haha. I have a desire to age together"
"Please Ga, not funny ah" Azka shook her head with a stifled smile.
"I'm not funny Kak" he denied, "I'm not a comedian" he added.
"No, I'm scared. I don't want to be taken to your parents' house. I'm afraid they're hoping for more, but I can fulfill their imagination" Azka has regrown a great wall between herself and Saga.
"Ga, I'm not in a state of trying"
"Why? Are there any past wounds that have not healed? About building relationships? Or about opening your heart to someone else?"
"Saga," Azka felt cornered by Saga's words. " I'm sorry - I can't, at least for now" Azka said, feeling she couldn't contain the emotions that began to appear inside her chest.
"okay-okay"
"You don't need me to go, I can do it alone" Azka said, saying goodbye to leaving.
"Sister!"
---
Azka felt herself was overdue. Saga is kind, He is sincere and never demands anything. Why should Azka be angry? In his heart, he only felt that he was being forced out of what had been a part of his life so far. Yes, his feelings for Ragil had indeed been that deep. Azka was already too used to her feelings. Honestly, he no longer expected much that his feelings, his love, his relationship would work. But to let go of that feeling just like that, Azka still felt unprepared. Let Him be with his feelings. About love, Azka felt love had become a different thing. When Ocha asked him to open his heart again as he did with Rasya back then, the shadow of failure seemed to stare at him clearly.
"Hey! We'll see you again Tea!" yelled Kara who was already beside him. I don't know where that boy came from.
"Hey Kara. We meet again" said Azka aware herself of the daydreams that filled her mind.
"Against Tea?" ask Kara curiously. He took his place beside Azka.
"Haha, got caught?" Azka chuckles
"Hah, the tumben immediately ngaku" replied Kara. "What daydream? The story dong story" he said asking for an explanation.
Azka thought, should he tell Kara? He needs a story companion now. He needs a storymate who will be natural and not demanding. He needs someone who will just listen to him.
"Emmm"
"Yes if gabisa is told not anything about tea. Relax, but don't make her face. Smile dong" pinta Kara in her casual style.
"Emm—Kar, I want to ask you something can?" Azka wanted to start by asking questions.
"May dong" he said excitedly
"You've been holding on to feelings for so long?" ask Azka
"Em'em, I'm open. I like to say like. If you don't like to say you don't like it. Simple" he replied still with his casual style. "Well, is it bad again?" her question is full of search.
Azka then pressed her shoulders. He took a breath and threw it away slowly. He began to tell me little by little about what was going on with him and Saga. He offered some confirmation that what He did was right, and complained about some things that had been holding his heart. The story was so fluid, as Azka had guessed, Kara did not interrupt much. He's a good listener. He gave a relaxed but profound answer to Azka.
"So you think I'm going too far?" ask Azka at last
"Emm, yeah a little outrageous. Tea, not many men who come immediately want to be serious. Most ask for a date, years, then break up and disappear. But did he refuse? Just because you don't feel ready to erase the feeling of having a feeling in the past?" Kara laughed for a while, then cleared her throat to take the air to start her lecture. "Teh, you said you ever talked to her about this? Trus what is the answer? He said he wanted to help you get started and get ready for nemenin teteh? Oh, this guy must be special. Teteh is too evil if he is still reluctant when he is ready to accept teteh what is with all the feelings that are still in the heart of the teteh" He sighed long and then straightened his body.
"But I'm sure he's not angry anymore. In fact, maybe he is the one who is feeling guilty because he seems to force you. Haha. Though it's just that forcing yourself too much is too strong" Kara chuckled.
Azka pensive. What Kara said was all true. He was too evil to fortify himself with a huge wall from someone like Saga. Should have been, Azka could have gained more strength to deal with this feeling. Or maybe even eliminate it someday? Azka must apologize to Saga.
"Tea? A trick?" Call Kara while waving her hands in front of Azka's face.
"Eh, i-yes, hemm.. Kara, I'm so grateful. Thank you for listening" Azka said sincerely.
"No problem! but can dong keep my treat. Eskrim?" Kara asked for a reward. Oh my gosh, he really is a boy!
"OK, but I have to go to class now, my lecturer must have been waiting for his assistant. Next time I'll buy you?" Azka wrote down her phone number on a piece of paper. He closed the pen and tore off the paper containing his contact number. "Send your number to me, okay." Azka then said goodbye. He immediately headed to the Lab room where Mr. Ara would give a practicum class that day.
