RAGIL (First Love)

EPILOGUES

Kara's been running a few laps at the campus stadium. His body was already so tired, Sweat was pouring down his body. He collapsed, lying facing the sky that seemed so empathetic to how he felt. The sky that He looked at was so gloomy, the gray clouds were not moving, just standing still as if ready to splash him with a cold, wet liquid. In the corner of his heart He grimaced, hoping that the rain would soon fall, so that He would no longer have to cover up his hurt feelings by torturing himself.

Yeah, this shouldn't be the thing that should make him sad this deep. Even He who was very eager to encourage the girl to fight and end her pain. He was supposed to be happy that Azka would really put her heart and life into Saga. The man who has always been the best man in his life. Be sweet, not demanding, and ready to accept. But why did he feel so tight in his chest? His body was full, so he had to take it all out. He cannot be happy just like that, or grieve moping at a time like this. Although not the first time he was in a relationship with a woman, but this feeling is so foreign. This time he felt it.

His memory then ran the first time he saw Azka in the library. He did not know that Azka was an assistant lecturer at the same faculty. He got to know Azka a few years ago in an organization. But the Azka that He saw in the library was like a different Azka, his cheerfulness when he first met as if covered with other feelings that pervaded together. So Kara tried to approach him, despite having a rejection but it seems like the universe allowed her to enter the girl's life. Being a friend tells stories and complains when he is in trouble with two men in his life. And Kara? Yes, he realized, that he did not enter into the circle of the man. He is no doubt just an entertainer on the side of the game.

Azka, is such an attractive person in Kara's eyes. From the first time he met, he knew that the girl was a cheerful and closed girl. I don't know, Kara could always see the secret side behind Azka's attitude. Until one day, the secret was revealed little by little.

"Kara! What are you doing?" The sound of Sani's cry echoed in his ears. Making his memories of Azka just leave.

"You here?" kara asked briefly, turned her head towards Sani and then looked back at the gray sky.

"Yes, and let's get out of this place. It's going to rain" Take Sani in a little hurry.

"I was waiting for him to come down" Kara replied with her eyes closed.

"Hey Kara? What the hell is going on with you? This is not really the Kara I know. Is this still about that library lady?" Sani crouched down on the left side of Kara, her forehead frowning as Kara ignored her question. He muttered, Sani sharpened his hearing.

"I can't hurt him. He was already too wounded deep in his heart. I couldn't force her to accept my existence as more than a friend, even though I knew who was in her heart" Sani frowned even more, until the look in her eyes found a beautiful, mint-colored invitation paper poking out in one of the pockets of training pants used by Kara. It says the names Azka and Saga.

"This is the woman you told me about?" Sani saw a small nod from Kara. "Then what are you going to do? Will you be with him? As friends?" ask Sani again

"Oh, I don't know" Kara replied almost like a whisper.

"Hey! Come on kara, where have you been all this time? why isn't this you once!" sani yelled at Kara

"He was traveling, whether he would return" he said again, still in a sad voice that made Sani careless.

"Well! It's funny Kara. Just be careful if he doesn't come back soon. I'll forcefully pull it! I'm not gonna let you keep getting weird like this. What is different about him? You're almost crazy" Sani said at length.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Whatever, wherever it comes from isn't here with someone as heartbroken as you"

"Waw, I'm offended by that San!" Sani then ran, thickening the distance with Kara who immediately woke up from there. "Hey Sani!"

Well, Sani's right. Regretting yourself to the point of barely hurting yourself isn't Kara's style at all. Maybe he could still assume Azka was still in the same place. Although he is now with Saga, but Azka remains his Azka, Azka who has made him fall in love from the first meeting.

---

Saga still doesn't believe that what she does will lead her to big decisions like asking a girl to marry him. Yep. His decision to continue to approach Azka led him to a great choice. He himself did not understand what made him so eager to fight for the girl. Azka's expression, which was always cheerful in front of everyone, really managed to trick anyone. In fact, the girl was weak. Knowing that, Saga always tells her that Azka needs someone to protect her, accompany her, and make her able to deal with the pain. He was not the one who would make Azka never hurt. But there's no harm in trying to be someone you can rely on? At least he will always be there for every pain experienced by Azka. He promised not to go anywhere.

Until one day He learned of a secret that Azka had swallowed deeply for nearly twelve years. Ragil, ah remember that name it feels like Saga's heart is turning rogue. He received a message of longing from him for Azka, when Azka and himself were just about to get started. He held the paper for a month and gave it to Azka after returning from a trip to Bangkok. Yes, it was the most difficult day. Just because of a paper, for a whole semester Azka no longer contacted him. Even Azka blatantly avoided it. He found Azka turning around several times when he accidentally learned of her existence. Painful indeed, but maybe it was also caused by him. One thing he realized was that first love was so real.

So when Ocha says Azka will be proposed by her little friend, Saga starts to feel frustrated. He felt that he could no longer lose Azka any further. One semester has been so excruciating. He could not imagine if he had to let go of the girl forever. So after thinking long, he finally came to the house of Azka's parents. Foolish with the proposal, Foolish with his first love, who knows He who was actually given the opportunity to be with the girl he loved. Surprise, it was not him who gave a surprise, but rather He who was surprised because until He came before the parents of Azka, the proposal had never happened. So he ventured to convey with the most straightforward language he could speak. He boldly asked Azka.

And here he is today, in a small but comfortable house. Gets the status of being the husband of the girl who still looks the same as the first time they met. Almost the same, because even to this day, the girl still voiced her longing. As Saga saw days before they got married on a social media account. Saga knew it was Azka, although there was no name on it. He wrote something, about the meeting and the bitter farewell.

A story that has not yet begun, leaving a sense of tightness and curiosity. I need an antidote, and it's you.

Then when you are present at a time impossible for us. One thing called letting go is the answer. At least, I still have you as a memory.

This is Azka's second post with the same sentence. It's just that he added a new rhyme about letting go. Saga knew that day was the day Ragil met her. I don't know what they're talking about, which he knows Azka still chose himself.

"Ga, drink first" Azka said while carrying a cup of coffee whose smoke was still billowing. A smile from his lips. Nothing is hidden there, sincere. But in his eyes, it still held those memories. Azka was right, He will never be separated from her feelings. The first love that left her heart intact, the first love that made her strong and fragile at one time.

Saga will take care of that heart, keep it perfect despite the flaws in it. Saga will stay in place, accepting Azka with all her feelings. Giving him the strength to re-bury the feeling that had been so great. Let that feeling remain there, in the deepest corner of the heart of the woman he loves. Until later, he forgot, or never even found it again. Until then he will no longer be hurt.